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[CLOSED]
CONTEST: Slash fiction, Forumwarz style! 8 BP up for grabs + Unique E-Peen!!!!!
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THE_**** booted his computer and opened his Stalk list, to peruse for his daily steroid sales. Things had been tough since those bumholes over at Fitness fabulous personry had banned him. He cracked his knuckles and propped his feet on the end of his desk. Nothing to do but wait for a buyer. He ran his hands down his rippling abs. Maybe I should oil up. That’ll kill some time. he thought. He reached for the baby oil when a Stalk alert went off.
~CutiePie12xo wants to add you
“CutiePie, huh?” he said as he clicked the ‘accept’ command. Instantly, the message popped up.
>Hi, i herd u were a real muscle-head. i really like that. Oh, and before you ask, this is an old screen-name. I’m really 16 nao. Log in to see images!
A grin crossed THE_****s face. His male reproductive organ stiffened at the prospect of flesh. The pink unicorn avatar screamed at him. This was a genuine female. He responded quickly. With every throb in his male reproductive organ another word was typed. Both sides of the chat were masterful strokes luring each other into a pbumionate frenzy. It was then the most blessed words appeared on-screen.
>My parents are out of town. Maybe we could skip the cyber part and skip to old fashioned dirty sex. Log in to see images!
THE_**** felt a flush he hadn’t felt since his first testosterone rush. He scribbled down the address and took to the streets. Banking flezz would have to take a backseat to lust. He arrived before the oil on his torso even dried.
He ran upstairs to the studio apartment. There was a note on the door suggesting that it was unlocked and he should make himself comfortable. He pumped his arm in a gesture of celebration and let out a grunt. He was gonna make this little **** beg for more. The bumon on his jeans could barely contain his meat. The years of steroid abuse had barely dented his size at all. He swung the door open and dropped his pants as he stepped into the darkened room. It was then the rag covered his mouth and his body seized up.
He awoke strapped down to an antique bed. His firm, round bum stuck in the air. His tounge played with the ball-gag that had been carefully placed in his mouth. He let loose a barrage of obscenities that would make even those fabulous persons on Sensuous Seamen blush. He spotted a tub of KY on the floor. His eyes gaped. It was the family size. The realization set in on him and he struggled to free himself.
“Those belts are vintage nine-teen thirty two. They came off an old bumembly line. Just don’t make them like that anymore…” the voice trailed off, and out of the shadows stepped a man of about forty, wearing a blonde wig and a red satin evening gown. He paused, and knelt down to meet THE_****s face. “But you, boy, are built like an old Chevy. Before they starting naming the pickups. Real ****ing clbumic.”
He swooped with one quick motion and was directly behind his captive. A finger slid into the chute in THE_****s backside. CutiePie, or at least that’s who THE_**** bumumed this was, chuckled loudly. “I guess it’s a good thing you oil yourself.” A sharp pain rang through his intestines as Cuties entry thrust pushed THE_**** hard into the mattress. The smell of old vodka and perfume engulfed his nostrils. Cuties manhood pulsated as he started ramming it into THE_****s secret hole. His eyes watered at the sudden violation, but with each pounding he could feel his sword expand as it rubbed against the sheets. Sweat issued forth from both of their bodies as the thrusting turned into heated grinding. Cutie began kissing the shoulders of his prisoner. Ecstasy washed over him as his loins suddenly exploded his juice into the warm cavity of THE_****. Luckily, at the same moment, the one locked to the bed gyrated clockwise and splashed his love gravy into the sheets which entangled his member. Both parties collapsed and began panting. Cutie sighed happily and lit a cigarette. Lucky Strikes. Clbumic smoking tobacco. THE_**** would later look back fondly on this day. It was probably the best love making he’d ever had. Or would again… No homo, or anything.
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| Posted On: 12/04/2008 10:10PM |
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holy crap someone who is not me has made a story contest
that is pretty rad
also its been a long time since i did the contests myself so maybe i should make another one soonish :3 |
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| Posted On: 12/05/2008 5:27AM |
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zigzagoon Posted:
Yes. you should.
Maybe you could do the circus love story one now? |
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| Posted On: 12/05/2008 5:56AM |
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King Krimson Posted:maybe possibly maybe
but anyway this thing is still going on so i wait until it is finished at least!
and good luck all Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 12/05/2008 8:14AM |
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Just Doldoe Rewards
By Fortunato
Consciousness gradually shed its unifying light on Fingerz’ mind. Somewhere. Somewhere strapped to the wall. She couldn’t move. There was a little light. Glancing around, it looked like a cell. She squirmed; the bonds were tight against her skin, and there was sharp pain at her wrists; it felt like they’d been tied so tightly it broke the skin.
As she awakened, fear slowly gripped her mind. Where could she be? Who would take her here? Last she remembered she was shopping for a sex toy as a gag gift.
“You’re finally awake, good,” came a voice from behind her. She tried to crane her neck to see, but she was firmly gripped by the painfully tight bonds. “I see the roofies in the soda worked wonderfully.”
“Who’s there?” she cried, panic obvious in her voice, “What do you want?”
“Justice,” murmured a silky female voice in her ear. A figure walked past her to the center of the room, clothed in a long, hooded robe. The figure shed the robe and below it was a smallish girl with dark brown hair, nude and wearing a headset.
“Fran,” said Fingerz, her eyes widening, “What are you doing? Why are you doing thi-”
“You ruined everything, you stupid little ****. Snobby was unified, everyone respected us, and best of all, there were no doldoes. Then you came along and everything fell apart.” She picked up a sex toy sitting on the bench in front of her and inserted it into Fingerz’ mouth. She hit a switch at the large, square base and it buzzed, BZZZH BZZZZH BZZZH in Fingerz’ teeth.
“I already got to Raepdog,” said Fran, motioning to a lump in the corner behind her. There lay a fluffy white pooch, surrounded by small cans of “dog spray,” “and now, I wreak my vengeance on you. Oh, to be consumed by the very meme you helped to spawn! MWAHAHAH! Forumwarz will be mine again!”
Fran turned to the bench and picked up a few more. “you’ve heard of DVDA, of course, well, today, we’re going to try some TVTA!” She started the first buzzing Doldoe, which shook in her hands as she inserted it into Fingerz’ unyielding orifice. Fingerz shuddered as involuntarily pleasure coursed through her. She struggled, but the Doldoes were held in place with straps. Fran picked up another and went around behind Fingerz, and slowly inserted it into her bum. Fingerz heard a buzzing noise behind her and her back went ramrod straight as the pleasure she had felt transformed into a nightmare. And this was only four of the quivering sex toys. There were still three more to go. She bit down, hard on the unyielding rubber and steel in her teeth. A small whiff of smoke escaped from the box at the base. Fran came around in front of her and said “what are you doing? You should be careful, these are off market.”
Tears coursed down Fingerz’ cheeks as she bit as hard as she could. A large cloud of black smoke billowed out of the doldoe in her teeth, as Fran ducked. With an ear-shattering crash, the doldoe in Fingerz’ mouth exploded in a small fireball. Her face was a grimace of pain and she could feel where the oil had burned her. Fran stood up and said “you should see yourself, you’re a mess. Oh well, here, have another.” Fran grabbed another off the bench and roughly shoved it deep into Fingerz woman's genitals. Fingerz moaned in agony as her insides were torn apart.
“Only two more, let’s just get them over with. My boyfriend’s waiting for me.” Fran picked them both up and roughly shoved one more in each hole. Pain wracked fingerz’ frame as she struggled vainly with her bonds. Fran leaned on the machine next to her and and smirked at Fingerz’ suffering. “that’s right, I’m just going to leave you here, like this, burned and vibrating. This is the price you pay for getting people to question my dominance!”
Fran turned to leave. Fingerz heard her footsteps clicking away, and heard her muttering “BZZZZZH BZZZZZZH BZZZZZZH, **** was never funny, shouldn’t ever have even tried it. Stupid Raepdog, stupid Fingerz.” There was a faint click as the lights flipped off.
Gradually, struggling to keep the consciousness she only so recently had gotten back, it became clear to Fingerz that she would die here today.
Log in to see images!
(there’s a NSFW version of the pic here.) |
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| Posted On: 12/05/2008 6:11PM |
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Convention Exclusive A Forumwarz Slash Fiction Story
Crotch Zombie Headquarters, Toronto, Canada Log in to see images!
Evil Trout and BINGEBOT 2015 are heavily involved in organizing the first ever FW convention, which is only 2 days away. A room is booked already, but there is so much left to do. The vomitting robot reads a tubmail and hastily closes the window when E.T. walks over to him. “Man, I just want it to be over. Those ugly freaks from all over the world will be here in about 46 hours. Have you heard anything about the delivery yet?”, asks Evil Trout. – “No, not at all. Without the 6000 extra units of human toilet paper we will have to cancel the event, I suppose.” “****, you’re right. They’ll start to mould from the inside if we don’t give them the chance to discharge their salty load regularly. Also it’s so damn hot. What the **** is this going on? It’s April, not July or something!” “Maybe I have an idea, how we could solve this…wuahahahaha” – “Wait, what Idea? And seriously, why this sinister laughing? After all, you are only a robot. Even though you are a very attracting one” – “Oh, you think so?”, asks BINGEBOT 2015 and moves closer to Evil Trout. “Sure thing, Binge, you have corners and edges. Very manly!” – “You wanna touch my edges?” Evil Trout fondles over Binge’s quadratic body. “Wow, so cold. I like Log in to see images!” – “There is much more to explore…” Both look each other deep in the eyes. – “Ja, I’m sure. But now let’s stop playing homo. We have work to do.” – “Playing…?”, babbles BINGEBOT 2015. – “What?” – “Oh, nothing. I’ll phone those toilet paper guys immediately.”
That is what he says, but later that day BINGEBOT 2015 meets with a shady guy in an dark alley. He buys a barrel of Liquid Ecstasy, a drug known for it’s ability to break social barriers combined with sexual euphoria. Just add stomping music and the crowd literally feels the rhythm. Log in to see images!
Saturday. The Grand Ballroom in Sheraton Centre Hotel. The Convention is ready to open it’s gates. A lovely set buffet composed by Jalapeno Bootyhole coddles the eye in the middle of the room. There is a klan-section in one corner where guests may meet befriended members players. Evil Trout himself sits in his little workshop where everybody can get himself a make-up to look like his avatar. And ol’ BINGEBOT 2015 was busy until the final minutes before openening to fill over 1000 glbumes with a smooth male reproductive organtail.
“I think I’ve gotta say some words…it’s wonderful to see you all here. Have a great time, enjoy the show and cheers!”. Evil Trout raises his glbum and the whole room starts to do the same. An exhilarating feeling spreads through the hotel. Next to the rest rooms, Crotch Zombie had put a bouncy castle. It looks like a giant Fran, bloated in a way. Laguna and Angry Hobo jump up and down on it so desperately that one could think, they’ve never been nearer to a woman. Log in to see images! For those guys who need more action than that, you could get trapped in a real cupboard and play a live text adventure. But the place to be was a large cozy corner in the back. Surprisingly early people like Nicco, Ricket or FAIL huggled together, demanding more male reproductive organtails.
“Man, these boys push things forward. fabulous personry has arrived”, you hear Evil Trout saying to Jalapeno Bootyhole. “I always thought they were playing a role, now I could swear they are indeed gay! Wow, I feel somehow buzzed…will be right back.” In the rest room, a loud sound can be heard from after one of the doors. A poking, banging sound, also a male voice. Carefully Evil Trout looks under the door. The SIG-ENABLING MOCK-CONGLER rams his middle finger into on Manphin’s hole again and again. “Oh my god, deeper. I wanna feel you inside of me!” cries Manphin. “You can have it like that, dumbbum. You totally suck at being ****ed. Now shut up when I put my ding dong rodgers into your ****hole” Some Fluid squirts out of the half man, half dolphin creature, right into Trout’s Face.
Trout runs into the main room again and BINGEBOT 2015 comes over. “Binge, something’s going on here. They’re all homos and there is NO toilet paper at all.” – “Yeah I wanted to talk to you about that. Come with me to the other room, I can explain everything in a minute. They both enter another room with a nice sofa and some candles. “Did you like the male reproductive organtail?”, asks BINGEBOT 2015. Then he grabs Evil Trouts hand and puts it between his mechanical legs. “What are you doi…” Before the sentence can be finished, they kiss with pbumion not from this earth. “I drugged you all” – “I don’t care, I want your robum. on your knees.” Log in to see images! Evil Trout unleashed hammers his Johannes into the robotic bum. He closes his eyes, the tounge makes her way to BINGEBOT’s HEAD and licks it while still pumping with 130 bpm. After all, The Trout Man is a 24/7 hardcore fapper, which means, his joystick has only limited power. He’s ready to fire and shouts ‘happyness is a warm gun’...in that very moment, shrtcat rides through the room on the back of Pickled male reproductive organbum, jerking that very male reproductive organ. The next moment, the sound of a photo camera is heard. The beautiful Vicky Love just took a photo of the scene. Her mouth and hands still wet from fingerbanging Scullyangel.
The next day. Log in to see images! A groggy Evil Trout received a tubmail in which he finds a link. After the click he’s shocked. It shows himself in a clearly homosexual act with another man, and he seems to enjoy it. That photo shall never be published. I have no choice but to give Aldo_Anything the ‘I’m gay’ peen… Aldo_Anything edited this message on 12/08/2008 5:22PM |
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| Posted On: 12/06/2008 10:10AM |
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I’m gonna post the missing pic once again on monday. It was censored by photobucket. |
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| Posted On: 12/06/2008 11:08PM |
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Four more packets of homemade ‘roids hit the floor as The_**** pinned Bruce Bear to the wall, their tongues battling for dominance. Bruce’s arms were suspended in the air as The_**** moved down the hairier man’s neck, nipping at the flesh lightly as his tongue would then glide over the reddening area. Sliding a hand down, The_**** slipped it into the waistline of the boy’s pants, smirking at the surprised gasp as he began working with the belt. “You’re really cute when you blush…” Managing to get rid of the belt, he slipped his hand into Alex’s pants, taking the limp flesh into his grasp. Crying out with a dark blush across his face Bruce arched his back, giving a loud moan as The_**** began moving his hand. Pulling away, The_**** picked up Bruce bridal style, dumping him on the bed, and then locking the door in one swift motion. Crawling on top of the blushing man, he smirked again. Unbumoning the man’s pants and lowering the zipper The_**** once again grasped Bruce’s hardening member. “Getting excited are we? I barely touched you…” Pumping his hand, he continued biting and sucking the other man’s neck, using his free hand to strip Bruce of his shirt. Alex was clearly frustrated, squirming and moaning with his hands balled into fists around the sheets. “Oh th-th-thweetie p-please…” he begged, arching his back “WHAT THE **** DOES A woman's genitals RAG LIKE YOU WANT?” The_**** asked with fake innocence, removing both hands and placing them on Bruce’s chest. “What do you want me to do?” Whimpering from the lack of contact, Bruce stared at him eyes full of want and need. “P-please…touch me…” “Hmm? But I am touching you!” to prove his point, The_**** moved his hands on the boy’s chest “Oh thweetie…Lower…” “Here?” he kissed his sides, placing his hands on the bed to help him move lower. “Or maybe here?” his tongued danced over Bruce’s naval moving down into the pit. “Or do you mean…” he stripped away the pants, his mouth hovering over Bruce’s stiff member “…here?” He breathed out the word, his breath causing the member to twitch. Bruce moaned loudly trying to thrust up to The_****’s warm mouth. “Oh, GOD YETH THWEETIE PLEASE DO IT! PLEASE!” He thrusted his hips up, but was stopped by The_****’s hands on his hips. Finally believing that Bruce was teased enough The_**** took the hot, throbbing flesh into his mouth. It was better than he imagined. Keeping a firm grip on Bruce’s hips The_**** took to pleasuring him. Taking long slow sucks and letting his tongue run along the length and the base. Despite Bruce’s arousing please for him not to stop The_**** moved away and began stripping himself. Wit that finished, he placed 3 fingers inside Bruce’s mouth “Suck.” He was so close he could feel the pressure building up inside of him. Bu nonetheless he obeyed, coating the fingers with saliva. The_**** pulled them out and slipped one into Bruce’s entrance, kissing his neck. After some time he added the second, then finally, the third. When Bruce was ready Steven positioned his weeping male reproductive organ to the stretched opening. With one final comforting kiss, he pushed in. Alex bit his lip in ecstasy and rocked his hips, “M-move” Smiling lightly The_**** pulled back then pushed roughly back in groaning at the tight, hot feeling. He soon set a fast and hard pace, Bruce’s moans almost drowning out his cursing and moans. Reaching down between Bruce’s legs he grabbed his male reproductive organ once more, pumping it in time with his thrusting. Alex’s moans and cries reached a desperate tone as he came all over the sheets and The_****’s hand as he came arching his back in bliss. Soon, he felt The_****’s body tense over him great times was released into his bum. Bruce felt almost sad as The_**** fell out but he suddenly became so tired he fell asleep within the minute. The last thing he saw was The_**** licking his great times off of his fingers.
Shining brightly through the open window, the sun’s rays lightly caressed The_****’s face, beckoning him to awake. Sitting up, he groaned, his head in his hands, “Damn… those ‘roids keep getting stronger.” As he began to move a pair of hairy arms impaired his movement. Memories of last night came flooding back as he glanced down at Bruce. Steven bent over and kissed his head then said, “WAKE THE **** UP. I GOTTA **** LIKE A RACEHORSE.”
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| Posted On: 12/07/2008 2:26AM |
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Last-bumed day! I’ll announce the wiener tomorrow and award the Peen shortly thereafter. |
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| Posted On: 12/07/2008 3:30PM |
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More Than a Week of Friendship
“shrtcat, please…” Twitching, desperation making him shift…
“You ready, Jalapeno?” shrtcat responded, lifting his mouth off JB’s balls to whisper the words, the fingers of his strangely hairy right hand continuing their sensual mbumage of JB’s prostate as his left maintained a firm pressure at the base of JB’s male reproductive organ.
“Yes, God yes…”
“Come on. Don’t you want to play some more?” shrtcat grinned and gently sucked one testicle, then the other into his mouth.
“Aahh shrtcat…” JB’s voice cracked and he knotted his fingers in his lover’s hair, pulling until the younger man gave a grunt of pain and relented with a high pitched giggle.
“All right, all right—” shrtcat moved to flick his tongue teasingly over JB’s stomach before shifting lower to satisfy his BFF. The first taste of JB’s hard manhood, the power it made him feel to have his lover lying helplessly under his lips… shrtcat was fulfilled, happy. He took a few seconds to bask.
Drawing JB’s swollen, engorged male reproductive organ into his mouth, shrtcat sucked gently, flicking his tongue and then taking the full length into his mouth, his thrusting fingers never slowing, keeping rhythm. JB was so close… he started convulsing immediately, but shrtcat kept up the stimulation, striving to enhance his lover’s pleasure. As the spasms finally subsided, he rolled to the side and snuggled up close. “Good?”
“Mmm hmmm. Almost as good as Evil Trout…”
“So, I won’t be permabanned?” shrtcat sighed and licked his lips.
“Well, you’ve been warned about this in the past, tradition (and instinct) would be to permaban both accounts. But there are extenuating cirgreat timesstances. Not everyone swallows you know.”
Log in to see images! Note: for the safety of our gentle viewers, the original candid pics of the above scene have been replaced with a poetic representation. scully edited this message on 12/07/2008 9:33PM |
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| Posted On: 12/07/2008 9:28PM |
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Almost time…
Good luck, everyone! |
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| Posted On: 12/08/2008 5:08PM |
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Okay, this was not an easy contest to judge! A lot of these were really strong efforts, and I wish I could acknowledge them all.
I’ll admit right upfront that my word limit was not a good idea. Because far and away, I think the best entry was UnlimitedANC, but like many of the entries it went way too long, and I had to disqualify it. Log in to see images!
– So with that in mind, I’d say UnlimitedANC would be the first runner-up and will receive 4 BP! That **** made me laugh like a ****. Log in to see images!
– And the second runner-up, with 2 well-deserved BP, would have to be the homeboy by the name of swine. Clbumic story, good use of characters, nice descriptiveness and a sweet little drawing too.
– Therefore TEH BIG WINNAR would have to be…PhineasPoe! Log in to see images! That’s what slash ****tion is all about, people! Good atmosphere, strong writing chops, and it was damn funny! You win the Grand Prize and the E-Peen™!!!
Log in to see images!
OH SHI—
...wait!
PhineasPoe didn’t have a picture accompanying the story, so he only wins 6 lousy, stinking BP, according to our rules!
Well, ****. I guess I can throw a couple BP around just for dishonorable mentions. I bestow 1 BP upon Aldo_Anything for creating such great artwork and to Deific Blunder for getting in there early with the first really good story. Congrats everyone!
Also, phat shout-outs to: - Johnny Mac: Nice twist ending - Largehardoncollider: You nazzty, dawg! - King Krimson: You got the real names wrong, but I liked that artwork - SimplyTHEBEST: Robosecks? Yes, please! - PatchTheDarknut: I squirmed - KaaVink: Klever koncept! - Mister_bum: Lulzy-bum stuff - scullyangel: It's funny because it's true ;)
Thanks to everyone who participated, and to my BBF (best banned friend) shrtcat for coming up with the idea and carrying it through.
See y’all next time! Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 12/08/2008 11:39PM |
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grats to PhineasPoe. Enjoy the peen |
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| Posted On: 12/09/2008 12:16AM |
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Congrats. Some of these were hysterical. Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 12/09/2008 12:18AM |
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Grats Phineas! You know how to set a mood.Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 12/09/2008 12:24AM |
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Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:
You squirmed!? Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 12/09/2008 12:26AM |
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Grats to winrar. If I had to pull one over my own Poe, it was yours. |
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| Posted On: 12/09/2008 12:26AM |
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Hooray to teh winrars!Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 12/09/2008 7:57AM |
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Congratulations to all the winners!
Out of interest, what are Evil Trout’s and Jalapeno bootyhole’s real names? I wish to know so that I can edit my original post and then cry foul play.Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 12/09/2008 9:59AM |
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Thanks everybody.
I had an inappropriate amount of fun writing my entry. |
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| Posted On: 12/09/2008 10:04AM |
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