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Funniest joke wins 1 BP (Up to 10 BP)
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Six More BP To Give Away! We’ll Start Judging Again In About An Hour, So Get Your Jokes In. |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 6:19PM |
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View CoreyJess's Profile
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coreyjess Posted:
quick question, did you read the handful that I posted? Also, should I refrain from dirty jokes? |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 6:29PM |
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View Enshoku's Profile
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Log in to see images! Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Log in to see images! Same reason my wife does probably. Because they’re ugly and they stink!
Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 6:31PM |
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View Balcony Critics's Profile
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Enshoku Posted:
I have, but my wife has not. We’ll judge them together later. Don’t hold back the dirty jokes on our account. |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 6:31PM |
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View CoreyJess's Profile
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MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLbum SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLbumMATE, AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .
‘YES, YES I DID. I’M A MUSTANG! ’ HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
‘WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?’ I ASKED
HE ANSWERED, IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?
‘YOU WERE IN MY CLbum!’ I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN THAT UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLED,
FAT bum,
GRAY HAIRED,
DECREPIT,
SON OF A **** ASKED….
‘WHAT DID YOU TEACH??? |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 6:35PM |
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View MC Banhammer's Profile
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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: “Where’s my tractor?”
Thank you. I’m here all night. |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 6:35PM |
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MC Banhammer Posted: You should be banned for allcaps outside the roleplaying forums. Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 6:37PM |
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Daddy Dong Posted: |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 6:41PM |
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MC Banhammer Posted:
We can forgive you… this time |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:08PM |
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View CoreyJess's Profile
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Time to shamelessly swipe some from the interwebs!
My Mum used to say “boys will be boys” I don’t think she had ever been to Thailand |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:22PM |
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View InaneAnomaly's Profile
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coreyjess Posted:
but I must if you find them tasteless, it is pointless to post that which displeases the brownie giver. |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:25PM |
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Oh yes, I’m putting up marriage jokes now. Secrets to a Happy Marriage 1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans. 2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money. 3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex. and MOST important… 4. It is important that these three women never meet. |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:28PM |
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View InaneAnomaly's Profile
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A wife comes down stairs one night to find her husband quietly sobbing. She goes up to him and gently asks him what’s the matter.
He replies, remember when we first met? You were 16, I was 18, we went out for six months and then I got you pregnant.
That’s right my love she replies, and remember how my father said if you didn’t marry me he would get you put away for 20 years?
The husband looks up at her and says “I would have gotten out today.” |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:30PM |
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View InaneAnomaly's Profile
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The Devil walks into a crowded bar.
Within seconds the bar emptied with people running out screaming all over the place, all except for one old boy leant over the bar.
The Devil wanders across to the old boy and says “Do you know who I am?”
The old man took another sip of his beer and answered “Yep”
The Devil stared at the old man and asked “Well aren’t you afraid?”
The old boy looks the Devil up and down for a minute and shrugs “Nah, I’ve been married to your sister for 40 years. Why the hell should I be scared of you?” |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:31PM |
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View InaneAnomaly's Profile
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A man says to his wife, “tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.” His wife replies, “you’ve got a bigger male reproductive organ than your brother.” Log in to see images! Log in to see images! FAMILY RELATED: My wife, bless her, is carrying our first child.
He’s 8 years old and he’s a lazy little woman's genitals. Log in to see images! A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for his family, but doesn’t tell the kids what it is. He says he’ll give them a clue, “It’s what mum calls me sometimes.”
The little girl screams, “Don’t eat it, it’s a ****ing arsehole!” |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:33PM |
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View InaneAnomaly's Profile
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A farmer and his wife had worked hard, scrimped and saved to send their son to college. As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard. Next he grew a large moustache and sideburns. Being pleased with his hairy face, he had his photo taken and sent it off to his parents. On the back of the photo he scrawled, “How do you like it? Don’t I look like a count?” Shortly after, the son received this terse note: “You idiot, it cost us a fortune to send you to college, and you can’t even spell!” |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:35PM |
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View InaneAnomaly's Profile
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It was many years ago since the embarrbuming day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, “I`ll be 16 tomorrow.” “I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I`ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she`ll get, and watch the expression on her face.” When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on HIS face!” |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:35PM |
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I once went 12 years without any sex, drugs or alcohol…
...my GOD, my dad knows how to throw a good 13th birthday party! |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:44PM |
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View InaneAnomaly's Profile
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[img=80x80]http://homepages.slingshot.co.nz/~bites/hypnotoad.gif[img]
GIVE ME 1BP LOloLOLoLOLOLOLOlol!!!11one |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:45PM |
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View zxcvmnb's Profile
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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Log in to see images! What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
The bachelor comes home, sees what’s in the refrigerator, then goes to bed. The married man comes home, sees what’s in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator. Log in to see images! I felt a bit fed up today so to cheer myself up I watched my wedding video backwards.
I love the end bit where I take my ring off, go back down the aisle , jump in the car and **** off. Log in to see images! Wedding rings:
The worlds smallest handcuffs. Log in to see images! One thing that always amazes me, is people who don’t believe in sex before marriage. Clearly, it’s sex after marriage that doesn’t exist. |
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| Posted On: 08/21/2008 7:48PM |
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