A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

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What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?

The bachelor comes home, sees what’s in the refrigerator, then goes to bed. The married man comes home, sees what’s in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.

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I felt a bit fed up today so to cheer myself up I watched my wedding video backwards.

I love the end bit where I take my ring off, go back down the aisle , jump in the car and **** off.

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Wedding rings:

The worlds smallest handcuffs.

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One thing that always amazes me, is people who don’t believe in sex before marriage. Clearly, it’s sex after marriage that doesn’t exist.