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Help Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread

Veer

Avatar: 2059 Thu Nov 13 08:18:14 -0500 2008
6

[Team Shortbus]

Level 32 Troll

my only complaint is that you people are happy

FAIL Posted:

Dear Dr. Anansi:

I keep dominating every contest I enter, and have ambumed too many BPs and unique items. What should I do?

Thanks,

FAIL, The Greatest at Everything Ever

so how do the girls like you

(they don’t)

(fabulous person)

dr. anansi i heard that freudians love their mother i wanted to know if this is true


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deMonSPaWN

Avatar: 43152 2010-02-03 13:32:04 -0500

Level 22 Permanoob

“Moron”

I WILL EAT YOUR MALADJUSTED SOULS

deMonSPaWN edited this message on 05/27/2008 12:00PM

S . A . T . O . R

A . R . E . P . O

T . E . N . E . T

O . P . E . R . A

R . O . T . A . S

Anansi

Avatar: Anansi's Avatar
9

[Arsenal of Ninjacr-
acy
]

Level 69 Troll

Resident Psychoanalyst

Eirairaianna Posted:

i am an efl wizerd. lol. not realy but i like role playnig. do you like role playngi?

but thats not my porblem. my problme is my firend’s lagh at me and say im wird and stupd and suff and sumtime’s it huts my fellings. my mum says i need nicer freinds but their the only one that talks to me.

sometim’s i talk too the trees and stuff and i no its jsut pretending but it makes me fell not so lonley. i thnik its ok but my firends say its dumb.

Dear Eirairaianna,

It is clear to Dr. Anansi you have in fact become so maladjusted, you should simply give up on the trappings of society and become what we professionals refer to as a “cat lady”.

Sincerely,

Dr. Anansi


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Anansi

Avatar: Anansi's Avatar
9

[Arsenal of Ninjacr-
acy
]

Level 69 Troll

Resident Psychoanalyst

MONGOLoidWARRIOR Posted:

I’ll be your freind!

I like to roleplay being a superhero like in my comic books I collect.

I draw comics too, I have lots of ideas for new comics.

Dear MONGOLoidWARRIOR,

A lesser man would tell you to GTFO.

With unconditional love,

Dr. Anansi


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Anansi

Avatar: Anansi's Avatar
9

[Arsenal of Ninjacr-
acy
]

Level 69 Troll

Resident Psychoanalyst

FAIL Posted:

Dear Dr. Anansi:

I keep dominating every contest I enter, and have ambumed too many BPs and unique items. What should I do?

Thanks,

FAIL, The Greatest at Everything Ever

Then in Dr. Anansi’s opinion, your life is complete. Wait…When was the last time you got laid?

FAIL Posted:

you may not humbly suggest anything for picking ****ING BIFF TANfabulous person OVER [b]THE GREATEST AT

EVERYTHING EVER[/b]

Clearly this is one aspect of your life that needs work, and the source of your unfortunate moniker.

Wishing you better luck than you will have,

Dr. Anansi


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Anansi

Avatar: Anansi's Avatar
9

[Arsenal of Ninjacr-
acy
]

Level 69 Troll

Resident Psychoanalyst

Veer Posted:

dr. anansi i heard that freudians love their mother i wanted to know if this is true

Dear Veer,

This is completely true. Some of them love their entire families, in fact.

However, if you were wondering—and you most certainly were—Dr. Anansi is of the Frommian school of psychoanalysis with a logotherapeutic twist. As such, he loves your mother but only finds it meaningful when she wears a bag over her head.

Wishing you the best of luck in learning to roleplay (though I’ve no idea why you should wish to do so),

Dr. Anansi


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Anansi

Avatar: Anansi's Avatar
9

[Arsenal of Ninjacr-
acy
]

Level 69 Troll

Resident Psychoanalyst

deMonSPaWN Posted:

I WILL EAT YOUR MALADJUSTED SOULS

Dear Demonspawn,

You are clearly suffering from a severe form of psychosis, but if it will get these fabulous persons out of my thread I’m all for it.

In Jesus’ name,

Dr. Anansi


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Anansi

Avatar: Anansi's Avatar
9

[Arsenal of Ninjacr-
acy
]

Level 69 Troll

Resident Psychoanalyst

latester Posted:

Hello, Dr.

I seem to have developed a severe case of Pinkerton Syndrome, which is a strong sexual preference to Asian women.

I’m not actually asking for help. I’m just showing you I know a thing or two.

Aloha.

Dear latester,

While Dr. Anansi appreciates your enthusiasm for psychiatry, he is concerned about your ignorance. Never fear, however, for Dr. Anansi knows such things are easily remedied: the technical term for this so-called “Pinkerton Syndrome” is actually “yellow fever”.

Scholastically yours,

Dr. Anansi


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Janie

Avatar: Janie's Avatar

[SRSLY]

Level 25 Emo Kid

I... HAERT TEH FIREFOX TOO!

Dear Doctor,

My parents don’t understand me. I was trying to sneak out in order to track down my love (still don’t know where he lives, but that’s a minor obstacle), and they caught me. Now I’m grounded, and they took away my credit card. Why don’t old people appreciate feelings?

Janie

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Janie

Avatar: Janie's Avatar

[SRSLY]

Level 25 Emo Kid

I... HAERT TEH FIREFOX TOO!

WHY DOES EVERYONE IGNORE ME? I NEED ANSWERS NOW, AND YOU’RE PROBABLY OFF SIPPING TEA OR SOMETHING!

IT’S LIKE I’M NOT IMPORTANT OR SOMETHING!


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Eirairaianna

Avatar: Eirairaianna's Avatar
2

Level 16 Re-Re

Litening bolt!!!! LOL (in ur faice bad guyz)

hi janie i thiks your nanas are lookngi for you, their in one of teh other rooms calling you. they sound mad. i hop eyour’ not in truobl Log in to see images!


Eirairianna elf wizerd. LOL. Plese send me a freind reqwets!!@!!

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Janie

Avatar: Janie's Avatar

[SRSLY]

Level 25 Emo Kid

I... HAERT TEH FIREFOX TOO!

Eirairaianna Posted:

hi janie i thiks your nanas are lookngi for you, their in one of teh other rooms calling you. they sound mad. i hop eyour’ not in truobl Log in to see images!

Thanks, Eirairaianna. Nice name, btw. Still waiting on help from the doc, but pretty soon I’m going to just have to take matters into my own hands.

ne1 know where you can get a gun with no questions asked in the L.A. area?


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gigerth

Avatar: 30869 Fri Jun 26 22:33:49 -0400 2009
2

[Team Shortbus]

Level 31 Troll

i was jealous so i changed his title

Anansi Posted:

Dear gigerth,

It is clear from your comportment around others that you are a twelve-year-old boy. Worry not, your psychological turmoil will pbum and be replaced by even greater and more disturbing trauma as you make your way through puberty.

If you would like to learn more, please schedule an additional session.

Sincerest disregards,

Dr. Anansi

requesting additional session


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Tangolho

Avatar: Tangolho's Avatar
4

[Team Shortbus]

Level 24 Troll

The Repeater

Once I drank from the same cup my girlfriend had dranked before, my question is, am I pregnant now?

Janie

Avatar: Janie's Avatar

[SRSLY]

Level 25 Emo Kid

I... HAERT TEH FIREFOX TOO!

OK, my friend has gone to pick up the gun. Thanks to those who hooked me up. Biff, I’m coming!

Dr. A, you were’t there for me when I needed you. Just remember that.


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translationb-
ot 1point0

Avatar: translationbot 1point0's Avatar
2

[01001011 01101100 -
01100001 01101110
]

Level 10 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

deMonSPaWN Posted:

I WILL EAT YOUR MALADJUSTED SOULS

<TRANSLATING…TRANSLATING…>

TRANSLATION NOT REQUIRED

TRANSLATION: I WILL EAT YOUR MALADJUSTED SOULS

translationbot 1point0 edited this message on 05/28/2008 12:37AM

PROGRAMMED TO MAKE SENSE OF THE SENSELESS

UPGRADED TO MAKE WAR

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Anansi

Avatar: Anansi's Avatar
9

[Arsenal of Ninjacr-
acy
]

Level 69 Troll

Resident Psychoanalyst

Janie Posted:

OK, my friend has gone to pick up the gun. Thanks to those who hooked me up. Biff, I’m coming!

Dr. A, you weren’t there for me when I needed you. Just remember that.

Dear Janie,

It sounds like you will be just fine on your own. Remember, nothing says “I love you in a stalkerish sort of way” like a bullet to the groin. That way, if you can’t have him, no one can.

Criminally yours,

Dr. Anansi

PS Yes, Dr. Anansi was enjoying a nice hot cup of lemon zinger tea at the time of your posts. If it’s any consolation, it was damn good tea. Almost orgasmic in its flavor and aroma. It reminded Dr. Anansi of your mother.


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Anansi

Avatar: Anansi's Avatar
9

[Arsenal of Ninjacr-
acy
]

Level 69 Troll

Resident Psychoanalyst

Tangolho Posted:

Once I drank from the same cup my girlfriend had dranked before, my question is, am I pregnant now?

Dear Tangolho,

You need not worry, for while you may have become pregnant, you’ve got the AIDS. Not just HIV, but full-blown AIDS. Consequently you will have an AIDS baby, which isn’t like having a real baby anyway.

Faux congratulations,

Dr. Anansi


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translationb-
ot 1point0

Avatar: translationbot 1point0's Avatar
2

[01001011 01101100 -
01100001 01101110
]

Level 10 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

Anansi Posted:

Dear Janie,

It sounds like you will be just fine on your own. Remember, nothing says “I love you in a stalkerish sort of way” like a bullet to the groin. That way, if you can’t have him, no one can.

Criminally yours,

Dr. Anansi

PS Yes, Dr. Anansi was enjoying a nice hot cup of lemon zinger tea at the time of your posts. If it’s any consolation, it was damn good tea. Almost orgasmic in its flavor and aroma. It reminded Dr. Anansi of your mother.

<TRANSLATING….............................TRANSLATING…...............TRANSLATING>

TRANSLATION: I WAS TURNING TRICKS TO SUPPORT MY METH ADDICTION

translationbot 1point0 edited this message on 05/28/2008 3:13PM

PROGRAMMED TO MAKE SENSE OF THE SENSELESS

UPGRADED TO MAKE WAR

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Anansi

Avatar: Anansi's Avatar
9

[Arsenal of Ninjacr-
acy
]

Level 69 Troll

Resident Psychoanalyst

Dear Translation Bot,

While your designer was a veritable genius, it is clear you are malfunctioning. Fortunately, Dr. Anansi possesses infinite patience. As previously mentioned, Dr. Anansi likes ****es and blow. Translation for the anthropoidally challenged: Dr. Anansi likes coke, not meth. Log in to see images!

Furthermore, Dr. Anansi makes ridiculously large amounts of money by dispensing useless advice to gullible clients and thus has no need to “turn tricks” as a means of raising funds.

Anthropoidally yours,

Dr. Anansi

PS Looking for coca, sans cola.

PPS Translation Bot, please tell Dr. Anansi all about your relationship with your mother.


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