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Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread
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FAIL Posted: so how do the girls like you (they don’t) (fabulous person)
dr. anansi i heard that freudians love their mother i wanted to know if this is true Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/26/2008 11:58PM |
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I WILL EAT YOUR MALADJUSTED SOULS deMonSPaWN edited this message on 05/27/2008 12:00PMS . A . T . O . R A . R . E . P . O T . E . N . E . T O . P . E . R . A R . O . T . A . S |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 12:00PM |
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Eirairaianna Posted:
Dear Eirairaianna,
It is clear to Dr. Anansi you have in fact become so maladjusted, you should simply give up on the trappings of society and become what we professionals refer to as a “cat lady”.
Sincerely,
Dr. Anansi Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 12:05PM |
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MONGOLoidWARRIOR Posted:
Dear MONGOLoidWARRIOR,
A lesser man would tell you to GTFO.
With unconditional love,
Dr. Anansi Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 12:09PM |
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FAIL Posted:
Then in Dr. Anansi’s opinion, your life is complete. Wait…When was the last time you got laid?
FAIL Posted:
Clearly this is one aspect of your life that needs work, and the source of your unfortunate moniker.
Wishing you better luck than you will have,
Dr. Anansi Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 12:13PM |
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Veer Posted:
Dear Veer,
This is completely true. Some of them love their entire families, in fact.
However, if you were wondering—and you most certainly were—Dr. Anansi is of the Frommian school of psychoanalysis with a logotherapeutic twist. As such, he loves your mother but only finds it meaningful when she wears a bag over her head.
Wishing you the best of luck in learning to roleplay (though I’ve no idea why you should wish to do so),
Dr. Anansi Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 12:19PM |
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deMonSPaWN Posted:
Dear Demonspawn,
You are clearly suffering from a severe form of psychosis, but if it will get these fabulous persons out of my thread I’m all for it.
In Jesus’ name,
Dr. Anansi Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 12:22PM |
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latester Posted:
Dear latester,
While Dr. Anansi appreciates your enthusiasm for psychiatry, he is concerned about your ignorance. Never fear, however, for Dr. Anansi knows such things are easily remedied: the technical term for this so-called “Pinkerton Syndrome” is actually “yellow fever”.
Scholastically yours,
Dr. Anansi Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 12:25PM |
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Dear Doctor,
My parents don’t understand me. I was trying to sneak out in order to track down my love (still don’t know where he lives, but that’s a minor obstacle), and they caught me. Now I’m grounded, and they took away my credit card. Why don’t old people appreciate feelings?
Janie Log in to see images! Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 12:48PM |
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WHY DOES EVERYONE IGNORE ME? I NEED ANSWERS NOW, AND YOU’RE PROBABLY OFF SIPPING TEA OR SOMETHING!
IT’S LIKE I’M NOT IMPORTANT OR SOMETHING! Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 2:45PM |
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hi janie i thiks your nanas are lookngi for you, their in one of teh other rooms calling you. they sound mad. i hop eyour’ not in truobl Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 3:56PM |
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Eirairaianna Posted: Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 4:00PM |
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Anansi Posted:
requesting additional session
Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 4:47PM |
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Once I drank from the same cup my girlfriend had dranked before, my question is, am I pregnant now? |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 5:17PM |
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OK, my friend has gone to pick up the gun. Thanks to those who hooked me up. Biff, I’m coming!
Dr. A, you were’t there for me when I needed you. Just remember that. Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/27/2008 6:39PM |
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deMonSPaWN Posted:
<TRANSLATING…TRANSLATING…>
TRANSLATION NOT REQUIRED TRANSLATION: I WILL EAT YOUR MALADJUSTED SOULS translationbot 1point0 edited this message on 05/28/2008 12:37AMPROGRAMMED TO MAKE SENSE OF THE SENSELESS UPGRADED TO MAKE WAR Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/28/2008 12:37AM |
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Janie Posted:
Dear Janie,
It sounds like you will be just fine on your own. Remember, nothing says “I love you in a stalkerish sort of way” like a bullet to the groin. That way, if you can’t have him, no one can.
Criminally yours,
Dr. Anansi
PS Yes, Dr. Anansi was enjoying a nice hot cup of lemon zinger tea at the time of your posts. If it’s any consolation, it was damn good tea. Almost orgasmic in its flavor and aroma. It reminded Dr. Anansi of your mother. Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/28/2008 2:48PM |
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Tangolho Posted:
Dear Tangolho,
You need not worry, for while you may have become pregnant, you’ve got the AIDS. Not just HIV, but full-blown AIDS. Consequently you will have an AIDS baby, which isn’t like having a real baby anyway.
Faux congratulations,
Dr. Anansi Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/28/2008 2:50PM |
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Anansi Posted:
<TRANSLATING….............................TRANSLATING…...............TRANSLATING>
TRANSLATION: I WAS TURNING TRICKS TO SUPPORT MY METH ADDICTION translationbot 1point0 edited this message on 05/28/2008 3:13PMPROGRAMMED TO MAKE SENSE OF THE SENSELESS UPGRADED TO MAKE WAR Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/28/2008 3:11PM |
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Dear Translation Bot,
While your designer was a veritable genius, it is clear you are malfunctioning. Fortunately, Dr. Anansi possesses infinite patience. As previously mentioned, Dr. Anansi likes ****es and blow. Translation for the anthropoidally challenged: Dr. Anansi likes coke, not meth. Log in to see images!
Furthermore, Dr. Anansi makes ridiculously large amounts of money by dispensing useless advice to gullible clients and thus has no need to “turn tricks” as a means of raising funds.
Anthropoidally yours,
Dr. Anansi
PS Looking for coca, sans cola.
PPS Translation Bot, please tell Dr. Anansi all about your relationship with your mother. Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 05/30/2008 8:00PM |
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