Anansi Posted:

Dear icwutudidthar,

It is natural to occasionally reevaluate your place in life, to think about who you might have been had you made different decisions and not hurt certain people. Just remember that they are fine upstanding member of societys and deserve to be treated as such.

Warmest regards,

Dr. Anansi

oh wow that was good advice. Nice work, I’ll be back next week for another session.

YOU HAVE SAVED ME FROM MYSELF DR. ANANSI

i’m the only doctor around here you fabulous person

fenk the evil midnight stabber Posted:

Would it surprise you to learn that I am a moderator of two sports based web sites, and have BANNED literally hundreds of trolls, or demoted them to our version of the trollhole, where they are then ripped mercilessly by myself and others?

I do know what a troll is, but I think where the disconnect came in is, I was trying to RP what I THINK A TROLL IS.

Trolls are morons. Trolls are EASILY defeated by sound logic and reasoning, because trolls are only trolling to get yucks, and flame.

The disconnect probably came because I AM a moderator, and happen to have run into far too many of them. And usually they are just stupid childish unintelligent losers, who happen to have no lives, and actually think it’s funny that they are ruining fun for everyone else. They live in theri mothers basement, and exist only to annoy others, but that does NOT make the vast majority of them clever or witty or intelligent or at ALL interesting.

NONE of them are truly funny, except in their own minds.

And yes, I did make the mistake of trying to ROLEPLAY that. Too late to go back and change it now. I was trying to ROLEPLAY my experience with hundreds of trolls.

As said before, once I realized my mistake, it was too late, and now, (as you yourself pointed out) you now hear Fenk, in the voice of that idiot I was RPing. Even when I directly quote one of you.

Dear Fenk,

This obsession you have with “trolls” that has developed into the psychotic delusion you yourself are one has a number of causes. For one thing, it’s clear you are overly concerned about others’ opinions. Furthermore, your self-concept is limited and as such you have limited the concept of a troll to match. You need to expand the boundaries of yourself beyond who you think you are, step outside your comfort zone, and consider the possibility of being a little smarter. The real art of role-playing is not about being one-dimensional. People—even stupid ones who limit themselves—are far more complicated than that, and you should give them a little more credit.

(Remember, a mind is like a parachute: if you forget to pull the ripcord you’re ****ed.)

Dr. Anansi

ANANSI:

THESE ****ES KEEP JOCKIN MY NUTS.

SHOULD I SPRAY MY **** (RATATATATAT) OR SPRAY MY **** (SKEETSKEETSKEET)

I think you’ve stumped him with that one. To be fair, he’s a brain doctor, not a Log in to see images!

rantmonkey Posted:

Hey doc, I am what you might call, a leaker.

See, when I get a hard on, my male reproductive organ leaks before I even blow my wad.

It’s kinda helpful, when I ain’t got no lotion handy, cuz I can smear it around on the head o my male reproductive organ for lubricant.

But it’s kinda embarrasing when I wear shorts, or something that stains show up easy on.

Dear Rantmonkey,

An ascetic yogi would be very disappointed in you. You are wasting your precious bodily fluids when you should be conserving them that the kundalini may rise through your major chakras to transform and awaken your consciousness. At this rate you will never achieve enlightenment. Go to Mantak Chia’s website and learn strange and painful exercises for drawing the semen back into your urethra.

Wishing you better luck than that guy who died of that rare cancer,

Dr. Anansi

Project Pat Posted:

ANANSI:

THESE ****ES KEEP JOCKIN MY NUTS.

SHOULD I SPRAY MY **** (RATATATATAT) OR SPRAY MY **** (SKEETSKEETSKEET)

Dear sir,

I do not know where you have been,

And I do not know what you have seen,

But I do know that deep down South,

It is all about the green.

I hope that helps.

Wishing you nonmediocrity,

Dr. Anansi

rantmonkey Posted:

Doc, believe me when I say, I have achieved “enlightenment” plenty of times. But as much as I am into East Asians, this sounds like a rather painful treatment.

Guess I’ll just have to live with it and take solace in the fact that, it is kinda fun, watching all the women I “marked” leave the elevator.

Dear Rantmonkey,

I believe you have grasped something of the essence of genuine psychiatry. The point is not always to change the patient, but rather to reframe their understanding so that what was once an affliction is now a badge of honor—or at least the more preferable of two options. Do not try to change your premature ejaculation. Embrace it wholeheartedly as a part of who you are, and remember that any woman who does not recognize and cherish this about you is a stupid **** who should be subject to abject humiliation.

In the name of mental health,

Dr. Anansi

Anansi Posted:

Dear Rantmonkey,

I believe you have grasped something of the essence of genuine psychiatry. The point is not always to change the patient, but rather to reframe their understanding so that what was once an affliction is now a badge of honor—or at least the more preferable of two options. Do not try to change your premature ejaculation. Embrace it wholeheartedly as a part of who you are, and remember that any woman who does not recognize and cherish this about you is a stupid **** who should be subject to abject humiliation.

In the name of mental health,

Dr. Anansi

Woah! Now hold on there “doc” I never said ANYTHING about premature ejaculation.

Reading your answer, it occurs to me that, if the essence of psychiatry isn’t to fix the problem, but to just fool us into ignoring it, well then psychiatry is a load of hooey.

Thanks for tryin ta help, but I think I’ll ask someone more qualified.

AAHZ Posted:

Doc,

I feel superior to all human beings.

I also enjoy the fawning and submission i am shown.

What shall i do with this power i possess, in your professional opinion?

Log in to see images!

Dear AAHZ,

You should probably stop watching Dragonball Z. Clearly it is rotting your brain. Why anyone should wish to collect dragon testicles is beyond Dr. Anansi. And by “beyond Dr. Anansi” I of course mean completely gay.

Also, you should give Dr. Anansi large amounts of brownie points.

All the best to you and your dragon balls,

Dr. Anansi