rantmonkey Posted:

Hey doc, I am what you might call, a leaker.

See, when I get a hard on, my male reproductive organ leaks before I even blow my wad.

It’s kinda helpful, when I ain’t got no lotion handy, cuz I can smear it around on the head o my male reproductive organ for lubricant.

But it’s kinda embarrasing when I wear shorts, or something that stains show up easy on.

Dear Rantmonkey,

An ascetic yogi would be very disappointed in you. You are wasting your precious bodily fluids when you should be conserving them that the kundalini may rise through your major chakras to transform and awaken your consciousness. At this rate you will never achieve enlightenment. Go to Mantak Chia’s website and learn strange and painful exercises for drawing the semen back into your urethra.

Wishing you better luck than that guy who died of that rare cancer,

Dr. Anansi