Anansi Posted:

Dear Rantmonkey,

An ascetic yogi would be very disappointed in you. You are wasting your precious bodily fluids when you should be conserving them that the kundalini may rise through your major chakras to transform and awaken your consciousness. At this rate you will never achieve enlightenment. Go to Mantak Chia’s website and learn strange and painful exercises for drawing the semen back into your urethra.

Wishing you better luck than that guy who died of that rare cancer,

Dr. Anansi

Doc, believe me when I say, I have achieved “enlightenment” plenty of times. But as much as I am into East Asians, this sounds like a rather painful treatment.

Guess I’ll just have to live with it and take solace in the fact that, it is kinda fun, watching all the women I “marked” leave the elevator.