Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

Performed two (fully original) haiku and was soundly defeated in the preliminary round. My opponent brought a couple “serious” haiku to the table, and the wuss judges were easily swayed. Having nothing but filth and degeneracy in my arsenal, I didn’t stand a chance! Luck of the draw, I’d say.

My second piece apparently had some people laughing and others shaking their heads. I forgot there were some bonafide Southerners among us:

Postmodern ethics
Like Alabama orgies:
”It’s all relative”

There’s going to be a proper haiku deathmatch in Toronto sometime this year, and I’ll be sure to enter that. Hopefully, I’ll fare a little better!

We will consider that the first entry into the poetry contest. An excellent start, and one that was probably unfairly discriminated against by the judges. I lived in Alabama for most of my life and don’t have anything against that poem. Some people just need to lighten up. Log in to see images!

YiffInHell2 Posted:

This is a two-part contest.

PART ONE: Write a poem worthy of being written on a girl’s mammary glands! Welcome to the poetry contest! Write an original haiku, couplet, or quatrain. All submissions should be in English. Among the couplets and quatrains, rhymed and metered poems are preferred. Poems should be funny and may be offensive. Nothing is off limits, and trolling is allowed at this stage of the contest as long as you’re not spamming the contest with nonsense. Feel free to make as many entries as you deem appropriate.
The deadline for submissions will be September 13th.
Log in to see images!

­This is an unfair contest, because it excludes any males from the second half of the contest (where the real bp is). If bob wants to write poems on his titties, well, god dammit, I support his right to win this contest.

Coulda sworn there was a rule stating that all members of the userbase must be able to earn the prize in order for this to be considered a legitimate (I.e. you get the peen) contest. Cant find it though.

Also, cant help but notice the lack of a toxx. Log in to see images!

Edit: well somebody else said it, so its there. whoopsie.

Lame excuse for mammary glands.

CoS this now, fabulous persons.

Yo, male reproductive organ

Wanna **** this chick?

Come here quick Log in to see images!

Johnald The Robot Posted:

male reproductive organS IN MY bum

male reproductive organS IN MY bum OH LAWD

male reproductive organS IN MY bum

^Winner.

Thanks for the pre-entry! Looks like a fun contest. Log in to see images!

Infinite Submits

This rule’s a bad idea

For us with no lives

The cooldown timer

Is making many attempts

To slow my genius