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Anansi's Flamebate Posts

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	ITT: FAIL SHOWS OFF HIS ILLUSTRIOUS ITEM Dr. Anansi is posting here out of concern for FAIL’s mental health. (view post)	05/27/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread latester Posted: Hello, Dr. I seem to have developed a severe case of Pinkerton Syndrome, which is a strong sexual preference to Asian women. I’m not actually asking for help. I’m just showing you I know a thing or two. Aloha. Dear latester, While Dr. Anansi appreciates your enthusiasm for psychiatry, he is concerned about your ignorance. Never fear, however, for Dr. Anansi knows such things are easily remedied: the technical term for this so-called “Pinkerton Syndrome” is actually “yellow fever”. Scholastically yours, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/27/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread deMonSPaWN Posted: I WILL EAT YOUR MALADJUSTED SOULS Dear Demonspawn, You are clearly suffering from a severe form of psychosis, but if it will get these fabulous persons out of my thread I’m all for it. In Jesus’ name, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/27/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread Veer Posted: dr. anansi i heard that freudians love their mother i wanted to know if this is true Dear Veer, This is completely true. Some of them love their entire families, in fact. However, if you were wondering—and you most certainly were—Dr. Anansi is of the Frommian school of psychoanalysis with a logotherapeutic twist. As such, he loves your mother but only finds it meaningful when she wears a bag over her head. Wishing you the best of luck in learning to roleplay (though I’ve no idea why you should wish to do so), Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/27/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread FAIL Posted: Dear Dr. Anansi: I keep dominating every contest I enter, and have ambumed too many BPs and unique items. What should I do? Thanks, FAIL, The Greatest at Everything Ever Then in Dr. Anansi’s opinion, your life is complete. Wait…When was the last time you got laid? FAIL Posted: you may not humbly suggest anything for picking ****ING BIFF TANfabulous person OVER [b]THE GREATEST AT EVERYTHING EVER[/b] Clearly this is one aspect of your life that needs work, and the source of your unfortunate moniker. Wishing you better luck than you will have, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/27/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread MONGOLoidWARRIOR Posted: I’ll be your freind! I like to roleplay being a superhero like in my comic books I collect. I draw comics too, I have lots of ideas for new comics. Dear MONGOLoidWARRIOR, A lesser man would tell you to GTFO. With unconditional love, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/27/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread Eirairaianna Posted: i am an efl wizerd. lol. not realy but i like role playnig. do you like role playngi? but thats not my porblem. my problme is my firend’s lagh at me and say im wird and stupd and suff and sumtime’s it huts my fellings. my mum says i need nicer freinds but their the only one that talks to me. sometim’s i talk too the trees and stuff and i no its jsut pretending but it makes me fell not so lonley. i thnik its ok but my firends say its dumb. Dear Eirairaianna, It is clear to Dr. Anansi you have in fact become so maladjusted, you should simply give up on the trappings of society and become what we professionals refer to as a “cat lady”. Sincerely, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/27/2008
	breast cancer: have you been checked recently? bump for a lump (view post)	05/26/2008
	Hillary wants Obama dead. SG94 Posted: Relevant video. Very. I love the Onion. (view post)	05/26/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread elenaratelimit Posted: WILL U COME VISIT? I BET NOT YOUFUKKIN bumHOLE DIE! Dr. Anansi only makes house calls when hookers and blow are involved. (view post)	05/26/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread Dr. Anansi kindly reminds you that what you do behind closed doors is your own business. Have a pleasant stay at the “hotel” Log in to see images! (view post)	05/26/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread elenaratelimit Posted: DR. ANANSI I NEED HELP, APPARENTLY I AM WAT IS KNOWN AS A ‘SOCIOPATH’ BUT I DON’T THINK THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME SO I STABBED MY OTHER DR. IN THE TESTICLES WHEN HE TOLD ME AND MADE HIM LICK THE KNIFE AFTERWARDS – NOW COPS SAY I GOTTA TALK TO YOU WTF MAN WOULDN’T YOU DO THE SAME IF SOMEONE WAS CALLING YOU SOME SCIENTIFIC NAME? I DON’T GET WHY THESE JERKOFFS KEEP TRYIN’ TO HELP. WAT DO I DO TO FIX THIS? OR CAN I FAKE IT LIKE THAT MOVIE EDWARD NORTON WAS A TOTL WEIRDO IN? THKS Dear elenaratelimit, Dr. Anansi finds it very suspicious that you say you need help yet do not think there is anything wrong with you. Consequently Dr. Anansi has recommended institutionalization. Please enjoy your lifetime stay in the padded room, complete with your own personalized straitjacket and sexual abuse at the hands of the hospital staff. Getting better and better every day in every way, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/26/2008
	breast cancer: have you been checked recently? Dear ladies, Did you know that one out of three women is at high risk for breast cancer? Did you also know that when placed side by side with two other women, *you are* one out of three women? This danger is too great to ignore. Because he cares about you, Dr. Anansi is now offering free breast exams. While the most effective breast exam is in person (tubmail Dr. Anansi to make an offline appointment), Dr. Anansi will also conduct free online examinations for those women who post pictures of their breasts in this thread. Remember, topless is better** as Dr. Anansi is better able to determine the presence or absence of a tumor without those pesky clothes in the way. Please make this commitment to your wellbeing. You’re worth it. Sincerely, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/26/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread Chito Posted: Good Doctor, I have been reading this thread and I for one want to say that you are providing a great service. I am glad to see someone providing a safe place for others to seek help and find answers that will help them find a better future. Dear Chito, As Dr. Anansi is grateful for your kind and substanceless words, he will give you a bit of free advice: It is clear from the people-pleasing nature of your post that you are suffering from what the DSM-V calls “small male reproductive organ syndrome” for which there is no known cure save the traditional Vedic treatment, which calls for you to DIAF. Namasté and olly olly oxen free, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/26/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread gigerth Posted: analyze me doc Dear gigerth, It is clear from your comportment around others that you are a twelve-year-old boy. Worry not, your psychological turmoil will pbum and be replaced by even greater and more disturbing trauma as you make your way through puberty. If you would like to learn more, please schedule an additional session. Sincerest disregards, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/26/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread AAHZ Posted: Doc, I feel superior to all human beings. I also enjoy the fawning and submission i am shown. What shall i do with this power i possess, in your professional opinion? Log in to see images! Dear AAHZ, You should probably stop watching Dragonball Z. Clearly it is rotting your brain. Why anyone should wish to collect dragon testicles is beyond Dr. Anansi. And by “beyond Dr. Anansi” I of course mean completely gay. Also, you should give Dr. Anansi large amounts of brownie points. All the best to you and your dragon balls, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/26/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread rantmonkey Posted: Woah! Now hold on there “doc” I never said ANYTHING about premature ejaculation. Admitting you have a problem is the first mile marker on the highway to recovery. Dr. Anansi knows all about your little problem—under Dr. Anansi’s “interrogation lamp” your ex-girlfriend told him everything. rantmonkey Posted: Reading your answer, it occurs to me that, if the essence of psychiatry isn’t to fix the problem, but to just fool us into ignoring it, well then psychiatry is a load of hooey. Dear Rantmonkey, You will notice I said not always. Sometimes genuine transformation is the goal. Sometimes the transformation of perspective effects an overall transformation. (After all, it is not unhappiness that makes us so unhappy as our unhappiness about being unhappy. Just ask Viktor Frankl. No, wait, he’s dead. Just ask Dr. Anansi.) Dr. Anansi reminds you that yours is a hopeless case without painful self-hating new age exercises that pretend to be Taoist. Also…Dr. Anansi says psychiatry is not a load of hooey. As of the two of us it is Dr. Anansi who is the doctor, clearly you are wrong. Thanks for tryin ta help, but I think I’ll ask someone more qualified. And where will you find such a person? Ha ha ha. Dr. Anansi, MD, has seven PhDs, three BAs, two BSs, and an official mail-order certificate of ordination as a minister in the Universal Life Church which enables him to perform legally binding marriages in the state of New Jersey. This leaves only two equally or further qualified people to turn to: God, and Doogie Howser. And Dr. Anansi has it on good authority that Doogie Howser doesn’t exist. (view post)	05/26/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread rantmonkey Posted: Doc, believe me when I say, I have achieved “enlightenment” plenty of times. But as much as I am into East Asians, this sounds like a rather painful treatment. Guess I’ll just have to live with it and take solace in the fact that, it is kinda fun, watching all the women I “marked” leave the elevator. Dear Rantmonkey, I believe you have grasped something of the essence of genuine psychiatry. The point is not always to change the patient, but rather to reframe their understanding so that what was once an affliction is now a badge of honor—or at least the more preferable of two options. Do not try to change your premature ejaculation. Embrace it wholeheartedly as a part of who you are, and remember that any woman who does not recognize and cherish this about you is a stupid **** who should be subject to abject humiliation. In the name of mental health, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/26/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread Project Pat Posted: ANANSI: THESE ES KEEP JOCKIN MY NUTS. SHOULD I SPRAY MY (RATATATATAT) OR SPRAY MY (SKEETSKEETSKEET) Dear sir, I do not know where you have been, And I do not know what you have seen, But I do know that deep down South, It is all about the green. I hope that helps. Wishing you nonmediocrity, Dr. Anansi (view post)	05/26/2008
	Dr. Anansi's "Help For Those Who Need It" Thread Janie Posted: I think you’ve stumped him with that one. To be fair, he’s a brain doctor, not a Log in to see images! Dr. Anansi is a love doctor as well as a licensed psychiatrist. How’s your lovebox doing, dear? (view post)	05/26/2008

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