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5-BP Help me die!
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Firstly, I recommend what I suggested in the last thread, and that is to cheese grater yourself while holding a .45 so that if you get bored you can just end it.
That being said, I think you should pierce your tongue twice, thread the largest-size twine/rope you can through it, tie that rope around your nutsack/male reproductive organ, then tie it too a tree above a large, large cliff (the higher the better.)
Jump off, and after you are simultaneously muted and castrated, the rushing ground will be a relief since you will know the intense, exquisite pain you’re suffering will soon end upon whence you hit the ground. |
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| Posted On: 04/15/2009 7:12PM |
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View Shii's Profile
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Almost all of these ideas invlove doing body harm to yourself, but I don’t support that kind of suicide. Here’s an effective and awesome way to kill yourself and dispose of the body. You might not get it on the first try, but keep trying.
Get an axeLog in to see images!. Research the closest forest nearby that has bears, grizzly if possible. Go there, take off your shirt (body paint is optional), find said bears and attack them (either with the axe or barehanded). If you win, you’re awesome, and you need to find more bears, if not, you died in an awesome way, by going toe to toe with a ****ing bear. The bears (or other animals) will take care of your body.
Hell yeah. Psy-4 edited this message on 04/15/2009 10:36PM |
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| Posted On: 04/15/2009 10:36PM |
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I got two words to answer both your methods.
Meat…Grinder. |
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| Posted On: 04/15/2009 10:43PM |
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Ok first, buy some long bungee ropes, then find like a strip of high rises at least like 10+ stories high, go on their roofs and tie the bungee cords to something and throw the slack over the sides. Then buy a spider man costume if you want, dawn in and try swinging from building to building down the strip till you screw up. would have to be hella fun. for body disposal you could try and swallow a few glbum bottles of acid, they should break during the impact or at least break open by your stomach acid. should eat at least part of you up till the insects come. |
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| Posted On: 04/15/2009 10:48PM |
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Gruesome Method (copyright infringement): Sit on a water intake at the bottom of a swimming pool, while masturbating. The suction should eventually cause your rectum and lower intestines to prolapse and become tangled into the filter. Now, people may tell you to gnaw through your intestine at this point, but I propose a better solution, EAT your intestine. Go to this huge pulled out extremity, and begin choking yourself with it, while eating it, until you eventually choke on the intestine, or simply drown.
Very long, easy Method: Step 1: Go to Texas. Step 2: Kill Someone/enjoy a small child. Step 3: Plead guilty at trial with ****ty defense lawyer *Negotiate for Death Penalty* Step 4: Wait for all of your appeals to die out. Step 5: Be put down in the most humane way possible at the cost of the American taxpayer. -MLF- edited this message on 04/15/2009 10:49PM |
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| Posted On: 04/15/2009 10:49PM |
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oh heck better one, charge George Bush with some large medieval weapon, if you get to him before his body guards take you out, well Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 04/15/2009 10:57PM |
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| Posted On: 04/15/2009 11:06PM |
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1) Gather your own feces for a month 2) Put feces in your car (while in buckets or w/e) and drive to nearest mall (have a gun with you too) 3) Spread said feces all over your nekkid body 4) Run into the mall shooting and spreading feces everywhere, all while yelling “GIRUGAMESH!” 5) Use last bullet to kill yourself 6) ??? 7) We profit by having some lulz on the nightly news
If you’re gonna kill yourself, might as well take some bastards with you and give the FWZ community some lulz.
As for body disposal, your friendly neighborhood Coroner’s Office will handle that for you.
PS: For Bonus Points: Do Steps 4 and 5 while on fire. It’ll be eye catching and it disposes the body in a creative, yet nauseatingly disgusting manner. Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 04/15/2009 11:17PM |
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How to die while doing something interesting.
1. Join the army. 2. Join the police. 3. Become a vigilante and wear a silly outfit. 4. Become a drug dealer. 5. Join the mafia. 6. 7. Rob many banks. 8. Explore the poor areas of any 3rd world country while wearing a tuxedo and monocle. 9. Skydive without a parachute. 10. Get in a car, tape a brick to the accelerator. 11. Go for a walk in the hood wearing a KKK outfit. 12. 11 dressed like Jesus in Middle East. 13. 11 with a tattooed swastika in Israel and no shirt. 14. Kill the president, then **** on his corpse. 15. Create your own country on an oil platform, shoot anyone who gets close. 16. Skate(or similar) down a mountain. 17. Go to Russia during winter, run naked around Moscow while harbuming sexually some ladies. 18. Fap furiously until you die, do it for days and take Viagra if it’s necessary. 19. Set a building on fire, barricade the door, jump down the window when the firemen arrive and yell something at them while you fall about being late or something. 20. Rope, railroad, dressed as a maiden. 21. Hit yourself with a hammer in the mouth, choke on your own teeth and blood. 22. Cut your own foot, chase someone in an avenue while yelling “THAT MAN STOLE MY FOOT!”, until you bleed to death. 23. Blind date with someone from 4chan/b/ 24. Go to Evil Trout’s house, ring, when he open the door yell something at him, then shoot yourself in the head. 26. See 25. 27. Wrestle with alligators 28. Wrestle with bears 29. Wrestle with sharks 30. Wrestle with stingrays 31. Jump from the top a s building into a pool full of lye. 32. Like this http://www.ktla.com/landing_mostinteresting/?Man-Dies-After-12-hour-Viagra-fueled-Org=1&blockID=225251&feedID=1080 33. All of the above, specially 25. ____ edited this message on 04/29/2009 1:56PM |
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| Posted On: 04/16/2009 12:49AM |
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lie down on railroad tracks |
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| Posted On: 04/16/2009 3:26AM |
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marry britney spears! |
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| Posted On: 04/16/2009 8:29AM |
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Strap enough explosives to yourself that they’ll be able to blow your body into a fine mist. Find a highway and stand in the middle of it. Detonate the explosives as a car hits you to make it seem as if the car’s impact made you explode.
That requires perfect timing, though. So it’ll be really tricky to pull off. |
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| Posted On: 04/16/2009 10:34AM |
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If you absolutely want to dispose completely of your body, go to a steel mill and jump in the melted steel. Nothing will remain. |
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| Posted On: 04/16/2009 10:35AM |
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Stab yourself repeatedly in your worst enemies house Log in to see images! that’ll **** ‘em up! or, Jump off a building while yelling “For America!” Or, build a build a slide that throws you into a bucket of oil that will tip over into a campfire and explode, leaving nothing of you behind! Kill yourself while playing clue KingGhidorah edited this message on 04/16/2009 4:00PM |
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| Posted On: 04/16/2009 3:56PM |
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1. Sneak into a sausage factory with a huge meat grinder.
2. Set up a hidden video camera facing the entrance to the grinder.
3. Write a will describing in detail the way you died and where the hidden camera is and leave it to your parents with instructions not to open until a year after your death.
4. Sneak into sausage factory naked with a handful of cyanide. Climb into the grinder and take all the pills.
5. You will be ground up and made into sausages and exactly one year later, your will will be read on news stations all over the world and people around the nation will vomit simultaneously.
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| Posted On: 04/16/2009 6:14PM |
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This is my horrible death plus corpse disposal all-in-one solution.
Basically, you need an electric chair, 20 pounds of thermite, a plastic washbowl, 10 feet of sparkling wick, and a remote control (the trigger mechanism.)
You hang the washbowl full of thermite above the electric chair and interconnect them with the wick. Then you strap yourself to the chair, and hit the remote.
What happens next is this: you start being electrocuted while the wick lights up and burns towards the washbowl. By the time you are next to dead (or dead already, if you’re lucky) the thermite ignites and pours over your body and chair annihilating every bit of them.
Have a happy suicide. |
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| Posted On: 04/16/2009 7:50PM |
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Wait about 60 years or so, you’ll surely die of old age. Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 04/16/2009 8:20PM |
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baou30 Posted: |
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| Posted On: 04/17/2009 3:11AM |
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Withdraw ALL your money. Go around and offer to pay homeless people to do embarrbuming things. When the time for payout comes, light the bills on fire. Repeat ‘til you’re out of money. Then go around and be a total douchebag to EVERYONE you see. Vandalize things, scratch up cars, spit at/on people, etc. Finally, take a few sleeping pills (non-lethal), and fall asleep in a public area. See if you wake up.
Obviously this works best in a place like New York.
Alternatively, find a way to fill a swimming pool with water and broken glbum. Do a high dive.
Or simple and evil, hang yourself just inside the door to a bathroom, preferably at a daycare or elementary school. |
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| Posted On: 04/17/2009 3:26AM |
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ShutThe****UpFat...
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Knife-Fight a giant white shark. Not only is this one of the most manliest deaths possible but even if you manage to kill the great white, all the blood will attract other sharks and induce a feeding frenzy. Have you seen a shark feeding frenzy? THEY MANAGE TO RIP APART AND EAT CARS MEN! CARS!
Corpse disposal: You got ripped apart alive. Log in to see images! |
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| Posted On: 04/17/2009 4:54AM |
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