I have some ideas for an awesome suicide, but FIRST!

Heres how to make the most of your last night on earth:

– If you have multiple computers or televisions, watch as much porn as possible at the same time!

– Drink tons of super cheap alcohol, like the **** preferred by homeless war veterans and inner city negrarz

– Smoke em if you got em

– Inform everyone possible that you’ll be killing yourself, your worst enemies in particular. Epic lulz should be had from the response

– Hire the cheapest,ugliest,filthiest hooker you can find, and be sure to collect them STD’s like they were Pokemon

– Chop off your wang with an extremely rusty old knife

– Proceed to cook your own wang, and then eat it

– Do your best Goatse impersonation, with as many sharp instruments inserted in your rectum as can fit.

– Grab a sawed off shotgun to finish the job, but be sure to leave a suicide note written in your own blood first!

Find a liquid solution so soluble it seeps right through your skin, causing instant death when the toxic blood reaches the brain.

I.E. liquid propane, butane

Actually saw a story on the news about a guy that did this.

- Shoot yourself with a gun, while standing on a graveyard. Done.

– Try to pwn Geronimo.

– Buy lots of forum visits. Play forumwarz for 720 horus straight (dead). Make sure all the flezz you got is spent on dynamites to blow your corpse up.

– Grab a gatling gun, and run into the White House while yelling DIE OBAMA!!!!! Your body should be destroyed by bullets before you get to the second floor.

Sepuku…get eaten by a wolf…..Jump off a cliff…..Shoot yourself…..Cyanide…..Oven…Jump out window…..Log in to see images!

Inconnu Posted:

toxx?

Log in to see images!

I think in light of the OP not being here, I should win the BP.

Break your neck and get paralyzed from the neck down. Then you can petition for euthanasia, fight for 60 years, fail, and die of old age/kill yourself anyway by sipping rattlesnake venom through a very thin straw.

I have always wanted to play with mercury which would kill you slowly, you could do that!

It’s been may for some time now. Did he really top himself without telling us?

The nerve of some people.

Contest is over, as I am now unbanned. I shall select the winners today.

batgrenade2442 Posted:

OK first you need to rig a vacuum cleaner to blow in reverse. It shouldn’t be too hard there are plenty of guides to that kind of stuff online or you could use an air compressor or something. Once you’ve done that you fill the vacuum with candy and go to any kids birthday party or fun event and then stick the hose of the vacuum up your bum as far as it will allow then turn it on. You will quickly be filled with candy and joy so much that you will feel like bursting and burst you will. Traumatizing and delighting a large amount of children simultaneously.

Psy-4 Posted:

Almost all of these ideas invlove doing body harm to yourself, but I don’t support that kind of suicide. Here’s an effective and awesome way to kill yourself and dispose of the body. You might not get it on the first try, but keep trying.

Get an axeLog in to see images!. Research the closest forest nearby that has bears, grizzly if possible. Go there, take off your shirt (body paint is optional), find said bears and attack them (either with the axe or barehanded). If you win, you’re awesome, and you need to find more bears, if not, you died in an awesome way, by going toe to toe with a ****ing bear. The bears (or other animals) will take care of your body.

Hell yeah.

Daniel Plainview Posted:

Hold in your **** until your bowels explode. It will be the best 3 weeks of your life.

Sarcasm Inc Posted:

Crucify yourself outside Evil Trout’s house.

Captain_Amazing Posted:

First of all, you’ll have to be prepared to try and create/overthrow a few rules. However, such is the price you pay for the most fabulous and decadent death possible. After the necessary steps have been taken, construct an elegant, full sized Roman Colosseum and instil yourself as emperor. Enslave a large amount of people as gladiators, and make the resulting games as brutal as possible. (As an aside, if you charge the public for entry to these games, you can leave quite a bit of money for your next of kin.) Make it known that you are a brutal and unfair ruler, and execute as many popular warriors as possible.

Eventually, a brave, strapping young lad will be removed from his family and forced to fight in the arena for your deranged pleasure. Beating all the odds, he will climb up the gladiatorial ladder, and gain more and more influence. Eventually, he will lead the other warriors into a revolution, and in a stunning battle you will finally be cornered. You desperately try to fight back, but the Hero’s deadly, practised combat moves and strong, firm body completely outclbum your feeble sword strokes, flabby and decadent form.

Instead of executing you outright, like the hundreds of lives you so cruelly took yourself, he leaves you mortally wounded, bleeding out on the floor, leaving you time to think about the horror you have unleashed until you finally die like a dog. (As, I believe, was your original intention.) Just before the Hero leaves the room, you call out to him. Your final words on this earth, are the words our manly Hero would least expect. “Thank you…”.

The Hero, his purpose fulfilled, and his belief in the meaning of his work shaken due to your final cryptic words, will look wistfully one last time upon the brutal charnel house that he once called home, and will then depart to an uncertain future, never to be heard from again.

As an added bonus, it’s entirely likely that several prominent film makers will be queueing up to make a movie about your life and works, with many a remake to follow, ensuring that you would be respected and feared in death as you could only wish you were in life.

quangntenemy Posted:

Stick your head into Fran’s giant woman's genitals and die of suffocation Log in to see images!

Wartooth118 Posted:

Alright, I’ve had this idea for a looong time.

First, scout out a bridge very high over a solid surface.
Second, find someone you hate and ask them to meet you in the middle of the bridge.
Third, buy a fishing pole and 60 lb test line.
Fourth, tie one end of the line to your ankle.
Fifth, go to the middle of the bridge, meeting the person there.
Sixth, give the pole to the person, say “This is what a BIG fish feels like, bumhole” and jump.

You end your life, and you **** up the other person’s mind for the rest of THEIR life. It’s win/win!

____ Posted:

How to die while doing something interesting.

1. Join the army.
2. Join the police.
3. Become a vigilante and wear a silly outfit.
4. Become a drug dealer.
5. Join the mafia.
6. Don’t eat or sleep while playing forumwarz, chew coffee beans, oh wait, that’s not interesting.
7. Rob many banks.
8. Explore the poor areas of any 3rd world country while wearing a tuxedo and monocle.
9. Skydive without a parachute.
10. Get in a car, tape a brick to the accelerator.
11. Go for a walk in the hood wearing a KKK outfit.
12. 11 dressed like Jesus in Middle East.
13. 11 with a tattooed swastika in Israel and no shirt.
14. Kill the president, then **** on his corpse.
15. Create your own country on an oil platform, shoot anyone who gets close.
16. Skate(or similar) down a mountain.
17. Go to Russia during winter, run naked around Moscow while harbuming sexually some ladies.
18. Fap furiously until you die, do it for days and take Viagra if it’s necessary.
19. Set a building on fire, barricade the door, jump down the window when the firemen arrive and yell something at them while you fall about being late or something.
20. Rope, railroad, dressed as a maiden.
21. Hit yourself with a hammer in the mouth, choke on your own teeth and blood.
22. Cut your own foot, chase someone in an avenue while yelling “THAT MAN STOLE MY FOOT!”, until you bleed to death.
23. Blind date with someone from 4chan/b/
24. Go to Evil Trout’s house, ring, when he open the door yell something at him, then shoot yourself in the head.
26. See 25.
27. Wrestle with alligators
28. Wrestle with bears
29. Wrestle with sharks
30. Wrestle with stingrays
31. Jump from the top a s building into a pool full of lye.
32. Like this http://www.ktla.com/landing_mostinteresting/?Man-Dies-After-12-hour-Viagra-fueled-Org=1&blockID=225251&feedID=1080
33. All of the above, specially 25.

Blinkie Posted:

1. Sneak into a sausage factory with a huge meat grinder.

2. Set up a hidden video camera facing the entrance to the grinder.

3. Write a will describing in detail the way you died and where the hidden camera is and leave it to your parents with instructions not to open until a year after your death.

4. Sneak into sausage factory naked with a handful of cyanide.
Climb into the grinder and take all the pills.

5. You will be ground up and made into sausages and exactly one year later, your will will be read on news stations all over the world and people around the nation will vomit simultaneously.

ShutThe****UpFatMan Posted:

Withdraw ALL your money. Go around and offer to pay homeless people to do embarrbuming things. When the time for payout comes, light the bills on fire. Repeat ‘til you’re out of money. Then go around and be a total douchebag to EVERYONE you see. Vandalize things, scratch up cars, spit at/on people, etc. Finally, take a few sleeping pills (non-lethal), and fall asleep in a public area. See if you wake up.

Obviously this works best in a place like New York.

Alternatively, find a way to fill a swimming pool with water and broken glbum. Do a high dive.

Or simple and evil, hang yourself just inside the door to a bathroom, preferably at a daycare or elementary school.

Ninja Dragon Posted:


– Grab a gatling gun, and run into the White House while yelling DIE OBAMA!!!!! Your body should be destroyed by bullets before you get to the second floor.

And finally, worst idea:

legendkiller96 Posted:

chain your hands and feet together then let your friends throw you in a pool. easy.

What friends?