Gruesome Method (copyright infringement):

Sit on a water intake at the bottom of a swimming pool, while masturbating. The suction should eventually cause your rectum and lower intestines to prolapse and become tangled into the filter. Now, people may tell you to gnaw through your intestine at this point, but I propose a better solution, EAT your intestine. Go to this huge pulled out extremity, and begin choking yourself with it, while eating it, until you eventually choke on the intestine, or simply drown.

Very long, easy Method:

Step 1: Go to Texas.

Step 2: Kill Someone/enjoy a small child.

Step 3: Plead guilty at trial with ****ty defense lawyer *Negotiate for Death Penalty*

Step 4: Wait for all of your appeals to die out.

Step 5: Be put down in the most humane way possible at the cost of the American taxpayer.