Sorry for wrong image host. Updated original posts:

http://www.forumwarz.com/discussions/view_post/555268

http://www.forumwarz.com/discussions/view_post/555270

OK first you need to rig a vacuum cleaner to blow in reverse. It shouldn’t be too hard there are plenty of guides to that kind of stuff online or you could use an air compressor or something. Once you’ve done that you fill the vacuum with candy and go to any kids birthday party or fun event and then stick the hose of the vacuum up your bum as far as it will allow then turn it on. You will quickly be filled with candy and joy so much that you will feel like bursting and burst you will. Traumatizing and delighting a large amount of children simultaneously.

Wrap yourself in freshly-killed animal skins, have someone fasten you to a tree and leave you to be pecked to death by vultures

Buy the thickest dynamite stick you can find and go crazy ****ing your bum while you free fall from a C-130 Hercules* flying right over the Amazon River.

Either, you generate enough friction (heat) so the stick explodes before you hit the water and die with an orgasm (don’t even try to deny it,) or you fail; but, in both cases, piranhas would take your body (or what remains of it) for lunch never to be seen again.

* Intended only for cinematic purposes.

So if you want to do it painlessly, overdose on insulin. You’ll (literally) go into a sugar coma and never wake up. Won’t feel a thing, even less painful than overdosing on pills.

If you want to an hero, I’d recommend activating a wood chipper in a public park, then jumping in. It’ll hurt like hell, but you’ll be famous for the horrible shock you caused to the children. Pop some pills beforehand if you don’t want too much pain, but the screams from the chipper would make you a winrar.

Now, corpse disposal. Your best bet would be middle of nowhere. Depending on your location, you have several choices. You can run out to a ditch and die for starters. You might be able to get a friend to carefully bury your body so they’re not suspected of anything and it looks like some ****ed up murder. Here in Oregon though, we have Mount Hood. People go up there every year, and bodies are rarely found. By the time someone finds your body, any evidence will have decayed, and it would look like hypothermia or frostbite.

Obviously corpse disposal doesn’t apply if you go with a wood chipper.

Could get a bunch of illegal fireworks, take the powder out, take a hollow vest, fill it with the powder, then light it on fire while wearing it. Might even be more painful than the wood chipper.

Go to a clan meeting in blackface.

They’ll take care of disposal.

chain your hands and feet together then let your friends throw you in a pool. easy.

Headbum a unicorn.

corpse disposal

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have the body submerged in a corrosive acid (HCl works). The body will be corroded, leaving virtually no remains.

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have the body buried thousands of feet underground. the combination of high pressures and temperatures will exert intense forces upon the body. the flesh will rapidly disintegrate and be separated from the bone. plate tectonics will split apart the bones and move them all over the place. by the time your bones disintegrate, they will be far away from each other.

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have yourself placed in a coffin. have ppl throw knives at the coffin. body will get pierced eventually (already dead, so it shouldn’t matter) fluids get all over the place.