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Contest Funniest joke wins 1 BP (Up to 10 BP)

Johnny Mac

Avatar: 37704 2015-08-12 18:57:31 -0400
35

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 35 Troll

I grant you an bumhole x

PurtynPouty Posted:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard.

Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World’s_funniest_joke

Interesting…

CoreyJess

Avatar: 2355 2015-02-10 15:56:06 -0500
24

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

Pie cannot hide overwhelming naughtiness!

Johnny Mac Posted:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World’s_funniest_joke

Interesting…

The link leads to a no article found page for me…

and even if it didn’t, I never stated as a rule that the joke could not be swiped from the internet. Only that it had to make us laugh.

If that was your implication…

CoreyJess edited this message on 08/19/2008 11:39PM

ShadyPixels

Avatar: Blood Cells
34

[70 Character Story-
tellers
]

Level 69 Emo Kid

“The Infinite Sadness”

An old woman is getting up there in years, and she figures she’s got maybe two, three years before she just becomes a complete burden on her family, and she doesn’t want that. So she goes out to buy a gun, and doesn’t want to shoot herself in the head, because that can go wrong so easily and she’d just become a vegetable, which, obviously, isn’t what she wants.

So, she calls up a doctor and asks him where the heart is.

He says “Oh, just below the left breast”

She thanks him and hangs up. Later that day a woman is admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound in her left knee.

200KillerWas-
ps

Avatar: 28280 Fri Dec 12 03:48:27 -0500 2008
11

Level 37 Troll

Don't caek me bro!

A little girl lived next door to a vacant lot where a house was being built. Every day she would go and chat to the builders as they worked. Eventually, the builders looked on her as a sort of mascot, so they gave her a little construction helmet and at the end of the week they gave her a little pay packet with five dollars in it.

The little girls Mother said, ‘We’ll take it to the bank and open a savings account’. When they got to the bank, the little girl went to the teller and asked to open an account and her Mother explained how the little girl earned the money.

‘Well’, said the bank teller, ‘you earned this money building a house, did you’?

‘Yes’ said the little girl.

‘Will you still be building houses next week’ asked the teller?

The little girl replied ‘I will if those woman's genitalss at the hardware centre ever deliver the ****ing bricks’

200KillerWasps edited this message on 08/19/2008 11:58PM

1338h4x

Avatar: 22473 Sat Nov 29 21:01:08 -0500 2008
5

[Crotch Zombie]

Level 35 Troll

7 Vibrating Doldoes was never a meme

Did you finish reading mine?

May Hem

Avatar: 49543 Fri Oct 31 11:14:35 -0400 2008
100

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Camwhore

“Venereal Biohazard”

coreyjess Posted:

The link leads to a no article found page for me…

and even if it didn’t, I never stated as a rule that the joke could not be swiped from the internet. Only that it had to make us laugh.

If that was your implication…

try http://tinyurl.com/668hm (for some reason the apostrophe in the original link won’t work)

This was in the news quite a bit when the study results were released.

omega_hobo

Avatar: Deformed Child
3

Level 10 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, “Hey that’s a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?”

The other old lady said, “It’s a condom.”

“A condom? Where do you get those?”

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the

questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, “What size do you want?”

The old lady thought for a minute and said, “One that will fit a Camel.”

CoreyJess

Avatar: 2355 2015-02-10 15:56:06 -0500
24

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

Pie cannot hide overwhelming naughtiness!

1338h4x Posted:

Did you finish reading mine?

I did, my wife refuses to read it till tomorrow.

I like it, but, I think it’s more a story than a joke, granted, a good story.

I imagine a joke as something you can tell to a gathering of people without having them fall asleep half way through it.

I’m not sure it’s worth the whole setup, just for a punchline.

IMO

CoreyJess

Avatar: 2355 2015-02-10 15:56:06 -0500
24

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

Pie cannot hide overwhelming naughtiness!

May Hem Posted:

try http://tinyurl.com/668hm (for some reason the apostrophe in the original link won’t work)

This was in the news quite a bit when the study results were released.

You shouldn’t have shown me that, the woman and the baby joke probably would have won a BP.

1338h4x

Avatar: 22473 Sat Nov 29 21:01:08 -0500 2008
5

[Crotch Zombie]

Level 35 Troll

7 Vibrating Doldoes was never a meme

coreyjess Posted:

I’m not sure it’s worth the whole setup, just for a punchline.

That’s the point, except you have to be a good enough storyteller to hold everyone’s attention, then run like hell before they kick you in the balls for the anticlimax. It’s the longest one I’ve ever seen, so that was the one I had to go with. Log in to see images! 1338h4x edited this message on 08/20/2008 12:10AM

1338h4x

Avatar: 22473 Sat Nov 29 21:01:08 -0500 2008
5

[Crotch Zombie]

Level 35 Troll

7 Vibrating Doldoes was never a meme

coreyjess Posted:

You shouldn’t have shown me that, the woman and the baby joke probably would have won a BP.

And if I had any alts I would’ve posted another one from that site, though a slightly different variation from the one there.

200KillerWas-
ps

Avatar: 28280 Fri Dec 12 03:48:27 -0500 2008
11

Level 37 Troll

Don't caek me bro!

1338h4x Posted:

Did you finish reading mine?

yes – I’ll get you for that Log in to see images!

CoreyJess

Avatar: 2355 2015-02-10 15:56:06 -0500
24

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

Pie cannot hide overwhelming naughtiness!

200KillerWasps Posted:

A little girl lived next door to a vacant lot where a house was being built. Every day she would go and chat to the builders as they worked. Eventually, the builders looked on her as a sort of mascot, so they gave her a little construction helmet and at the end of the week they gave her a little pay packet with five dollars in it.

The little girls Mother said, ‘We’ll take it to the bank and open a savings account’. When they got to the bank, the little girl went to the teller and asked to open an account and her Mother explained how the little girl earned the money.

‘Well’, said the bank teller, ‘you earned this money building a house, did you’?

‘Yes’ said the little girl.

‘Will you still be building houses next week’ asked the teller?

The little girl replied ‘I will if those woman's genitalss at the hardware centre ever deliver the ****ing bricks’

My wife went to bed so you’ll have to wait till tomorrow for her vote, but this one made me laugh pretty good. One I definitely want to remember. We’ll see tomorrow if it makes her laugh, as well.

Travalgar

Avatar: 49870 Tue Oct 21 02:47:07 -0400 2008
4

Level 29 Troll

“Gaping Asshole”

Little Mary played a game of rock paper scissor with her friend Chris one day. Somehow, Mary kept winning against Chris, while Chris can’t seem to have Lady Luck with him against the little girl. Chris got frustrated, and yelled, “****ING male reproductive organSUCKER!

Mary was puzzled. The innocent girl had yet to understand such harsh word. She ran back to her home, where she found her mother washing dishes. Mary asked, “Mommy, mommy, what are ****ING male reproductive organSUCKERS?” Her mother blushed of the magic word, and was ashamed to tell her daughter the meaning of the word. But then she got an idea! She replied, improvising, “Dear, ****ING male reproductive organSUCKERS are evil guys dressed in black from neck to foot. You should avoid them!”

Having understood what her mother said, Mary went back to Chris. They resumed playing RPS. But once again the Lady Luck seemed to favor innocent little girls rather than some badmouthed boy. Chris, frustrated again, yelled, “GODDAMNED fine upstanding member of society PIMPS!” this time.

Again little Mary ran back to her home to ask her mother (still dishwashing) about her new vocabulary. This time, her mother got no idea about what to say, so she decided to tell one last lie to Mary to simplify the trouble. “Dear, uh…GODDAMNED fine upstanding member of society P-PIMPS are…uh…Dishes and plates! Right, like these one!” She thought that she will clarify the words as soon as she finished working.

Mary nodded. She then ran back to Chris. On her way, she met a Catholic priest (dressed in black longdress). Mary, falsely taught, remembered what her mother had said before. She yelled to the priest, “Stay away from me, ****ING male reproductive organSUCKERS!”

The priest was greatly surprised by such words, not to mention the seemingly innocent speaker. The priest asked Mary, “Little girl, who taught thee such harsh words? What is he doing now?”

Mary replied bravely, “My mother taught me, she’s washing GODDAMNED fine upstanding member of society PIMPS right now!”

The priest fainted.

PurtynPouty

Avatar: Tight Skirt
36

[Gunther and the Su-
nshine Girls fancl-
ub
]

Level 69 Camwhore

“Venereal Biohazard”

Thanks to coreyjess for the BP, the scientifically-proven World’s Funniest Joke strikes again!

Charles Norr-
is

Avatar: Blood Cells

Level 9 Emo Kid

“Scene Kid”

How is my ex like a tornado?


First there was a lot of sucking and blowing, and then I lost my house.

Charles Norr-
is

Avatar: Blood Cells

Level 9 Emo Kid

“Scene Kid”

A young boy was on a plane with his mother. As they waited to taxi tot he runway, he saw all the large planes, and a confused look crossed his face. He turned to his mother and asked, “Mommy, if big dogs, have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

His mother turned a bewildered look on him, and needing to pbum the buck, she answered, flustered, “Well son, I think you should ask the flight attendant. She knows everything about planes.”

So the young boy, walks up to the attendant, and poses the question to her as well.

The flight attendant smiles huge, and answers cheerily, “The reason there are no baby planes is because this airline always pulls out on time. Now have your mother explain that to you.

scully

Avatar: 12797 2015-07-20 16:59:13 -0400
77

[Good Omens]

Level 69 Camwhore

I really do talk ****!

Ask me if I’m a pickle. Go on ask. Ask! Just ask.
.
.
.
.
.
.
No.

200KillerWas-
ps

Avatar: 28280 Fri Dec 12 03:48:27 -0500 2008
11

Level 37 Troll

Don't caek me bro!

scullyangel Posted:

Ask me if I’m a pickle. Go on ask. Ask! Just ask.
.
.
.
.
.
.
No.


I hate you, but in a nice way.

200KillerWas-
ps

Avatar: 28280 Fri Dec 12 03:48:27 -0500 2008
11

Level 37 Troll

Don't caek me bro!

Charles Norris Posted:

How is my ex like a tornado?


First there was a lot of sucking and blowing, and then I lost my house.


hey, that’s my ex as well…
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