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Episode 2 Walkthrough

IMPORTANT NOTE:

The walkthrough was written during Beta testing, by a tester. Because different events can be followed in different orders, this walkthrough is not always accurate as far as event timing goes. If you feel you're stuck, search the Knowledgebase using the help link in the upper right. Try "stuck".

Episode 2 Starting Cinematic

  • Game Event: Episode 2 Introduction Cinematic.
  • Game Event: Received Tubmail from JolieNet DSL.
  • Player Action: Read Tubmail from JolieNet DSL. They suspended your service, so you no longer have access to forums, stores, or tubmail.
  • Player Action: Check Sentrillion, the only active link. Look something up.
  • Game Event: DrrtyCop74 comes online.
  • Player Action: You have no choice but talk to her and go to the court because of your previous internet crimes.

The Internet Court: The Internet vs. You

  • Game Event: Initial cinematic.
  • Player Action: bumume you're the author of the Coral Springs incident. You have a choice, but eventually you must choose "Plead Not Fail."
  • Game Event: DrrtyCop introduced as a testimony.
  • Player Action: DrrtyCop starts accusing. Optional: Raise an objection, when asked.
  • Game Event: Witness Testimony Cinematic.

You'll be introduced to 4 dialog lines by DrrtyCop, pay attention. These are:

    • First: I first confronted Tucson Lepht, then known as <name>, on <date>.
    • Second: I previously discovered that <name> was using the internet to upload hacking scripts into various forums.
    • Third: I blocked all of his contacts from sTalk, so that he could no longer bumociate with other hackers.
    • Fourth: I ordered him to cease and desist immediately, and warned him that he would be arrested if he continued in this manner. But he somehow managed to cirgreat timesvent my blocking software because he’s an elite hacker. From there, he could only have continued his campaign of destruction.
  • Game Event: Cross Examination Cinematic.
  • Player Action: On first dialog, choose Press Further, then raise an objection. You'll receive her (false) sTalk logs with you as evidence.
  • Player Action: On second dialog, choose Let it Slide.
  • Player Action: On third dialog, choose Press Further.
  • Player Action: On fourth dialog, present her sTalk logs as evidence, and when asked, present any of your evidences.
  • Game Event: Barrage of Witness Cinematic.

FBO saves you

  • Game Event: Internet Delay Chat with the members of FBO. They will give you a Satellite Dish. Forums, tubmail, and stores are once again available.

Pwn The Pentagon

NOTE: At this point you must have purchased Episode 2.

  • Game Event: Received the Mission: Pwntagon!
  • Game Event: PENTAGON LOGIN added to Bookmarks.
  • Player Action: Use the PENTAGON LOGIN bookmark. Try entering any pbumword.
  • Optional: Read tubmail from Krystl_Crackr169.
  • Player Action: sTalk Shallow Esophagus. He agrees to give you the Pentagon Login if you complete a mission for him.
  • Game Event: Received the Mission: The Friendly Stranger.
  • Game Event: Received tubmail from Shallow Esophagus.
  • Optional: Read tubmail from RockStarGrrl69.
  • Player Action: Read tubmail from Shallow Esophagus.
  • Game Event: Jebediah the Hypocrite added to contacts
  • Game Event: tHeReMiNoRiTy_RuLe added to contacts

(Upon completing Mission: Operation Clamperl)

  • Game Event: Received Tubmail from Shallow Esophagus
  • Game Event: Mission Update: The Friendly Stranger

Amishidal Maniac

  • Game Event: Received the Mission: Amishidal Maniac.
  • Game Event: Completed the Mission: Amishidal Maniac!

I'm With the B&

  • Game Event: Received bookmark for Trident Media. Level 13 Forum.
  • Game Event: Received the Mission: I'm With the B&
  • Player Action: Gain approval rating of 6.75 in Trident Media posting as tHeReMiNoRiTy_RuLe using the Up-Suck ability. Once reached, kill yourself.
  • Game Event: Received Mission Update: I'm With the B&.
  • Game Event: Completed Mission: I'm With the B&!

Operation Clamperl

  • Game Event: Internet Delay Chat with Anonymous.
  • Game Event: Received the Mission: Operation Clamperl.
  • Game Event: Internet Delay Chat with Anonymous and FBO.
  • Game Event: Completed the Mission: Operation Clamperl!

My Little Pwny

  • Game Event: Warning from Sentrillion. Click continue anyway.
  • Game Event: Cinematic. Received Mission update: My Little Pwny.
  • Player Action: Purchase NetTranny at von Neumann's. Available at level 19. NetTranny is not available from the list of normal items. Click the large square ad at the bottom of the shop to purchase it. If you enter Li'l Pony Groomers without NetTranny, you will automatically be kicked out by a moderator after you have pwned about 50% of the threads.
  • Player Action: PWN Li'l Pony Groomers: Kids Only!.
  • Game Event: Completed the Mission "My Little Pwny"
  • Game Event: Received Tubmail from Shallow Esophagus.
  • Game Event: LittleBilly2316 sent you 3,500 Flezz. She says you'll want to talk to her again, but don't do it for now.
  • Player Action: Read Shallow Esophagus Tubmail.
  • Game Event: Mission The Friendly Stranger updated.

Pwnly the Lonely

  • Player Action: sTalk The Lonely Gunman
  • Game Event: CuddleNet added to bookmarks. Level 14 Forum.
  • Game Event: PUA Playpen added to bookmarks. Level 16 Forum.
  • Game Event: Accepted the Mission "Pwnly the Lonely".
  • Player Action: PWN CuddleNet and PUA Playpen.
  • Game Event: Completed the Mission "Pwnly the Lonely".
  • Game Event: The Lonely Gunman sent you 10,000 Flezz.
  • Game Event: Received Tubmail from Untied Sosiety fr tge Suppreshon of Buks.
  • Player Action: Read Tubmail from Untied Sosiety fr tge Suppreshon of Buks.
  • Game Event: TallJungle****.com added to bookmarks.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinrar?

  • Player Action: sTalk GooseFriedBacon.
  • Game Event: 2chin.org Fat Acceptance Forums added to bookmarks. Level 19 Forum
  • Game Event: Accepted the Mission "Guess Who's Coming to Dinrar?"
  • Player Action: Attempt to PWN 2chin.org Fat Acceptance Forums. On the middle of the battle, you'll be kicked by the moderators!
  • Game Event: <name>_299 added to contacts.
  • Player Action: sTalk <name>_299.
  • Player Action: sTalk GooseFriedBacon to ler her know the news.
  • Game Event: New Ability Learned: Recipes for Disaster!
  • Game Event: Completed the Mission "Guess Who's Coming to Dinrar?"
  • Game Event: GooseFriedBacon sent you 1,000 Flezz
  • Game Event: Received 2 Tubmails from <name>_299.
  • Optional: Read Tubmails from <name>_299.

Angel of Death!

  • Player Action: sTalk Doktor Jojo.
  • Game Event: CyberChondriacs added to bookmarks. Level 20 Forum.
  • Game Event: Dr. Jojo's Plastic Surgery Storeroom added to bookmarks.
  • Game Event: Accepted the Mission "Angel of Death!".
  • Player Action: PWN CyberChondriacs.
  • Game Event: Finished the Mssion "Angel of Death!".
  • Game Event: Doktor Jojo sent you 1,000 Flezz.

Beat on the Brat!

  • Player Action: sTalk LittleBilly2316.
  • Game Event: Traditional Childrearing Forums added to bookmarks.
  • Game Event: Accepted the Mission "Beat on the Brat!"
  • Player Action: PWN Traditional Childrearing Forums.
  • Game Event: Completed the Mission "Beat on the Brat!"
  • Game Event: LittleBilly2316 sent you 3,500 Flezz.
  • Game Event: Reilly O'Bill added to contacts.
  • Game Event: Ron BALLISTA added to contacts.

Their Rights, Offline

  • Player Action: sTalk Reilly O'Bill. Before going to the forums, he'll want to cyber with you. Answer this:
    • Not as hot as the Arctic Circle, which we are destroying with our lack of green policies.
    • Fighting for the liberation of a nation I’ve never been to or ever even heard of until last week.
    • I like that Jon Stewart. He's funny, and he's got that cute Jewish nose.
    • I’m all natural. Unkempt. In fact, I braided my pubes and bum-hair together, put some beads in there and dyed 'em green.
    • I would shove an anti-war protest sign up your bum until it tickles your prostate. You sissy.
    • Yeah. A hot bath followed by punch in the belly. And then: out comes the vacuum cleaner.
    • I like to go through other people's garbage and sort them based on compostability.
    • I don't believe in families. Not until gay people have the same rights we do.
    • I yell political slogans, like "Free Tibet!" Or, "YOU HAVE THE CHOICE TO ABORT THIS!"
    • Only if it's raw, unprocessed, organic fair trade semen.
  • Game Event: Gays in Recovery added to bookmarks. Level 17 Forum.
  • Game Event: Ebony Jaguars added to bookmarks. Level 18 Forum.
  • Game Event: Hear 'em Roar added to bookmarks. Level 21 Forum, but much easier.
  • Game Event: Accepted the Mission "Their Rights, Offline".
  • Player Action: PWN Gays in Recovery, Ebony Jaguars and Hear 'em Roar.
  • Player Action: sTalk Reilly O'Bill.
  • Game Event: Finished the Mission "Their Rights, Offline."
  • Game Event: Reilly O'Bill sent you 20,000 Flezz.

Bust a Few Threadz

  • Player Action: sTalk Ron BALLISTA.
  • Game Event: Battlethreadz ThreadConstructr v3.0 Gamma added to bookmarks. Level 22 Forum.
  • Game Event: Accepted the Mission "Bust a Few Threadz".
  • Player Action: PWN Battlethreadz ThreadConstructr v3.0 Gamma.
  • Game Event: Finished the Mission "Bust a Few Threadz".
  • Game Event: Ron BALLISTA sent you 5,000 Flezz.
  • Game Event: Anonymous sent you 1,000 Flezz.
  • Game Event: Doctor O wants to talk with you!

Player Action: sTalk Doctor O.

DrrtyCop74 attacks (again)!

Game Event: DrrtyCop74 disables your contacts again.

Player Action: sTalk DrrtyCop74. You are, again, forced to give her 1,000 Flezz.

Game Event: Vasectomy Cinematic. DrrtyCop is caught blackmailing you, and is forced to pay 2,500 Flezz to you because of the damage done.

Game Event: DrrtyCop74 sent you 2,500 Flezz.

Game Event: Received E-Mail from Shallow Esophagus.

Player Action: Read TubMail from Shallow Esophagus.

Player Action: Put the pbumword on the Pentagon Login screen, PWN Pentagon Super Secret Forum.

Game Event: Completed the Mission "Pwntagon!"

Game Event: KIM_SHADY sent you 30,000 Flezz.

Game Event: The Grand Adventures of Bubble Troll added to bookmarks.

Clbum Warfare Missions

Since these missions change, depending on what clbum you're playing, check the Clbum Warfare page for info on them.

Theorem Fury

Game Event: Internet Delay Chat with Forumwarz Robots.

Game Event: Accepted the Mission "Theorem Fury".

Player Action: PWN Paranoid Panorama.

Game Event: Get Teleported to Paranoid Panorama: Rise of the Machines.

Boss Thread: Internet-RIØT !!!!. Face Ravit "Blacksnake" Nordstrom III. He hits by around 150~250, be safe and try not to die.

Player Action: PWN Paranoid Panorama: Rise of the Machines.

Game Event: Finished the Mission "Theorem Fury".

Game Event: Gamble-Bot sent you 50,000 Flezz.

Game Event: Internet Delay Chat with Ravit "Blacksnake" Nordstrom III.

Pocahontaaaaas!

Player Action: sTalk Shallow Esophagus.

Game Event: Geronimo! Official Forums added to bookmarks.

Game Event: Accepted the Mission "Pocahontaaaaas!".

Player Action: Engage Geronimo Forums.

Boss Thread: The Anti-Sentrillion Movement. This thread deals an insta-kill hit after your first move. You can't do anything but accept your quick death.

Game Event: Episode 2 Ending Cinematic.

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