^ See title. Apart from any stories involving me in a, uh, unpleasant situation, I will write many, many things. Basically, I want brownie points, and hanging around in contests until I happen to win something will likely take the rest of my natural life.

So what I propose is this: You give me a story concept, or whatever, and I will write a short (about 2 to 3 pages, possibly more) story about the given subject. Upon my posting of the story, the commisioner will pay one brownie point.

You may do what thou wilt with the story, sing it at the top of your voice, conduct an extra-marital affair with it, use it to wip your arse… Anything except claim that you wrote it yourself. I claim authorship to the story. This may sound narcissic, but actually, it is. I have no resonable excuse.

If you want to see some of my previous work, you can look here or here, but for God’s sake don’t look here. That last link contains something I am very, very ashamed of. It also isn’t very good, but hey, I did it for the BP.

I am eagerly awaiting commisions.

(NOTE: This is posted in Ayn Rands, so you can’t hold out on brownie points. To compensate for this, I promise every story will written with my usual care and attention, so no “LOLOMG THEY KILLED EACH OTHER!!!1! TEH END!!” If for some reason you feel the story isn’t worth paying for, then tough. Sorry to be a male reproductive organ, but thems the breaks.)