Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

I’ve avoided taking part in this conversation until now, because I was hoping to talk to you about this one on one.

Since your preferred medium is Flamebate’s role-playing section, then so be it.

Let it be known, however, that I’m not role-playing when I say: Yes, we are going to be publishing the work you submitted, and no, there isn’t going to be any ****-bum court case.

We have it on record that you were signatory to our terms. If it ever came down to it, we could easily provide data that it was not tampered with, unlike your offending (lol) OP. It’s also pretty well understood that we’d have no reason to fake this.

Yes, we’re a Canadian company. Yes, you could claim your compensation was a gift. Yes, the method under which you agreed to our terms were unusual. None of this implies that you’re suddenly free to break a contract you agreed to with no legal consequences.

Oh, but I am role-playing when I say: I ****ed your mom last night. Your dad watched, while masturbating. It was fantastic.

so if jb handles this what will dobnits do with his life now?

Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

I’ve avoided taking part in this conversation until now, because I was hoping to talk to you about this one on one.

Since your preferred medium is Flamebate’s role-playing section, then so be it.

Let it be known, however, that I’m not role-playing when I say: Yes, we are going to be publishing the work you submitted, and no, there isn’t going to be any ****-bum court case.

We have it on record that you were signatory to our terms. If it ever came down to it, we could easily provide data that it was not tampered with, unlike your offending (lol) OP. It’s also pretty well understood that we’d have no reason to fake this.

Yes, we’re a Canadian company. Yes, you could claim your compensation was a gift. Yes, the method under which you agreed to our terms were unusual. None of this implies that you’re suddenly free to break a contract you agreed to with no legal consequences.

Oh, but I am role-playing when I say: I ****ed your mom last night. Your dad watched, while masturbating. It was fantastic.

all i could think about when reading this was JB sitting at his desk in his suit jacket and bumless chaps pounding feverishly at the keyboard and yelling at the screen like the boss men from early Hannah-Barbera cartoons.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

Dear Crotch Zombie,

Good evening. I will be your bull**** analysis guide for this open letter.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

As you know, I was recently banned for posting a singular image of a small portion of a sTalk conversation that I wrote. As stated in tandem with my posting of said image, I hereby revoke permission for you to publish ANY of my work, written, or otherwise, for Forumwarz Episode 3.

If you bothered to read the terms of your contract, you would have found that it was specifically requested that you refrained from exposing said content.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

As the author of said work, I hold the exclusive copyright to this work. If any of my work is published on your site, in part or in whole, I will pursue legal action against your company. I would hate for it to come to this but you’re forcing my hand.

LOL at the legal card, honestly mate – your case will not win. It is null and void on the count of you ignoring your employers request.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

I know I may have stepped over one of your seemingly infinite list of invisible boundaries that crop up as they you like, but I think you should rethink your bull**** strategy for rule creation enforcement. I mean really, when you get down to it I am just as important to your game and community as you are. IF NOT MORESO.

So common sense and not leaking huge spoilers are invisible boundaries now? What? To my knowledge, The Forumwarz forum are one of the most lenient as far as rules go. Are you seriously trying to imply that stuff like “don’t post shocks” or “no loli” are hard rules to follow?

Oh yeah, just because you made some content for a web game, it doesn’t make you more valuable or important to the community or any of that bullcrap. It means you’re doing what everyone else is doing and your contributions were slightly less ****ty.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

Let’s take a poll, how many people like me, vs. how many people like you. In fact, let’s jump right to the results. I win by a landslide, even when you combine all of your scores.

Don’t attempt to bumume the answer to your (imaginary) poll straight away – it gives people gas.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

**** all of you. I thought I could make a difference on your ****ty game by making it something people might actually enjoy. But when I try to share some of that, to show people HOW GREAT WE (NOT YOU fabulous personS) MADE IT, which would BOOST SALES AND PREORDERS BECAUSE OF AN INSTILLED CONFIDENCE IN YOUR CUSTOMERS, I get permanently BANNED? **** that.

ENLARGING YOUR TEXT by using capital letters MAKES YOUR POST HARDER TO READ. ESPECIALLY when it is CONSTANTLY ALTERNATING between the two cases. MORON

The reason you were employed by Crotch Zombie was because your Forumbuildr submissions were better than the bull**** most contributors churn out on a weekly basis. It was explained that your submissions conformed to the style of humor preferred by CZ. Given the fact that the people that were chosen to submit content were of a small minority, but were still selected from a huge fanbase, don’t you think for just a second there were so many more people just like you who could have had the chance to contribute but didn’t? The reason they chose you and not them was because you were slightly better, but now thanks to you betraying the trust of CZ they’ll have that chance. Nice going, champ!

Also, what made you think that spoiling the game would be a good idea to boost sales? Regardless of whether it is a major spoiler or not, spoilers HURT sales. It also hurts the relationships between the developers and the customers – It’s like we’re the Harry Potter fans at a live book signing where you’re the guy driving by in a car yelling “SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE”, you’re just ****ing us both off.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

Also, you can all choke on my ****ing male reproductive organ.

Love,

Log in to see images!

Not a very formal way to end a letter IMO.

TL;DR – You are not valuable, you’re as expendable and as easy to replace as one of those red-shirts on Star Trek. The idea of turning this into a court case is ridiculous and there are no problems with the rules you found SO HARD to follow. We’ll miss you, but not for long. Die in a fire.

p.s. I love you h0g

The ****ing End.

Log in to see images!

Log in to see images!

APPRENTICES! GET BACK TO CHURNING OUT THAT CONTENT!

handofg0d Posted:

drussthebritishbastard Posted:

Good evening. I will be your bull**** analysis guide for this open letter.

this is already gay.

drussthebritishbastard Posted:

If you bothered to read the terms of your contract, you would have found that it was specifically requested that you refrained from exposing said content.

I didn’t.

drussthebritishbastard Posted:

LOL at the legal card, honestly mate – your case will not win. It is null and void on the count of you ignoring your employers request.

Hay look your a ****tier lawyer than Merc. Read up on Intellectual Property you dumb ****.

drussthebritishbastard Posted:

So common sense and not leaking huge spoilers are invisible boundaries now? What? To my knowledge, The Forumwarz forum are one of the most lenient as far as rules go. Are you seriously trying to imply that stuff like “don’t post shocks” or “no loli” are hard rules to follow?

No, all of the other rules, that pop up, and are enforced without prior notice. But you go ahead and spin this to make me look like a retard, you clearly need all the help you can get.

drussthebritishbastard Posted:

Oh yeah, just because you made some content for a web game, it doesn’t make you more valuable or important to the community or any of that bullcrap. It means you’re doing what everyone else is doing and your contributions were slightly less ****ty.

You have no idea how much I did, nor why I was selected. As far as I know, JB was the only one to see my application to the apprentice, and I bumure you my credits went far beyond FB, which I rarely even bother with.

drussthebritishbastard Posted:

Don’t attempt to bumume the answer to your (imaginary) poll straight away – it gives people gas.

So put up a poll, obviously I can’t.

drussthebritishbastard Posted:

ENLARGING YOUR TEXT by using capital letters MAKES YOUR POST HARDER TO READ. ESPECIALLY when it is CONSTANTLY ALTERNATING between the two cases. MORON

Sowwy.

drussthebritishbastard Posted:

The reason you were employed by Crotch Zombie was because your Forumbuildr submissions were better than the bull**** most contributors churn out on a weekly basis. It was explained that your submissions conformed to the style of humor preferred by CZ. Given the fact that the people that were chosen to submit content were of a small minority, but were still selected from a huge fanbase, don’t you think for just a second there were so many more people just like you who could have had the chance to contribute but didn’t? The reason they chose you and not them was because you were slightly better, but now thanks to you betraying the trust of CZ they’ll have that chance. Nice going, champ!

Also, what made you think that spoiling the game would be a good idea to boost sales? Regardless of whether it is a major spoiler or not, spoilers HURT sales. It also hurts the relationships between the developers and the customers – It’s like we’re the Harry Potter fans at a live book signing where you’re the guy driving by in a car yelling “SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE”, you’re just ****ing us both off.

Uh huh. I take it you didn’t see the image then. Let me fill you in. It was 3 lines of a stalk convo. From a side quest that has no impact on the plot. You’re so far off with your comparison it hurts. Speaking of hurt, spoilers hurt sales? Is that why movies do not have trailers? Because if there were a trialer for a movie that showed tiny snippets of dialog and scene, it would spoil everything for everyone ever and nobody would go see it? Your logic is ****ing ace.

drussthebritishbastard Posted:

Not a very formal way to end a letter IMO.

TL;DR – You are not valuable, you’re as expendable and as easy to replace as one of those red-shirts on Star Trek. The idea of turning this into a court case is ridiculous and there are no problems with the rules you found SO HARD to follow. We’ll miss you, but not for long. Die in a fire.

p.s. I love you h0g

Choke on my ****ing male reproductive organ.

Oh and before I go, here’s some awesome chatlog from your bumbuddy:

IDC Posted:

-XI-: oh ****

-XI-: Druss just ****ing blew that hogfabulous person out the water

Chawin: someone call the fire brigadfe

Artifactor: hi all

Somebody: hello

Artifactor: whats up

-XI-: Druss just happened

-XI-: he raped hogfabulous person

-XI-: http://www.forumwarz.com/discussions/view_post/744944

Artifactor: nice

Adorable. Like I said, all the help you can get.

dobnits Posted:

Oh wait, I kinda just decried that entire post as bull**** or facts so obvious that i cant think of a metaphor to describe how freakin’ obvious they are. Yeah, never mind on that valid point thing.

You forgot the whole you’re a male reproductive organ thing. Also the fact that no one knows who the **** you are, and the first notable post I have ever seen you post makes an utter jackbum of yourself. Payment or no payment (knowing Crotch Zombie it was probably monopoly money)...

Someone actually gave a **** about your game, someone actually worked on it. Even more they probably worked for brownie points they worked on this game… for game currency. Sure you can say other people have given a ****.. but bloggers are the lowest form of human existence. Even if h0g is (questionably) being a dumb-bum, you’re an bumhole.

I’m going back outside or living my life because this game is awful an the forum is dry as pork. Im so glad though that you flaunt how much better ep 3 will be when its written by other people, people that you have scorned. Jackbum.

P.S. Go ahead say I’m bumhurt.

GAME? LAME.

Chawin Posted:

british chap

lol chawin i know you hate me but you are the best critic ever

Zagreus Posted:

before you edited your post you said something about quitting the game and you dont care and something about enjoying life is all that hoss still true

Yeah my life is awesome and Im busy with getting into good colleges, working, and mostly living a life outside of the game. I mean you have a majorly sad user-base that will not eat, or stay up late in order to win medals.

I don’t want to be mean though, but Dobnits has ****ed me off, my bum is hurt. The idea that someone worked for this game, and is mocked by someone who never ****ing posts. That **** ain’t cool.