Hand0fg0d Posted:

Dear Crotch Zombie,

Good evening. I will be your bull**** analysis guide for this open letter.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

As you know, I was recently banned for posting a singular image of a small portion of a sTalk conversation that I wrote. As stated in tandem with my posting of said image, I hereby revoke permission for you to publish ANY of my work, written, or otherwise, for Forumwarz Episode 3.

If you bothered to read the terms of your contract, you would have found that it was specifically requested that you refrained from exposing said content.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

As the author of said work, I hold the exclusive copyright to this work. If any of my work is published on your site, in part or in whole, I will pursue legal action against your company. I would hate for it to come to this but you’re forcing my hand.

LOL at the legal card, honestly mate – your case will not win. It is null and void on the count of you ignoring your employers request.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

I know I may have stepped over one of your seemingly infinite list of invisible boundaries that crop up as they you like, but I think you should rethink your bull**** strategy for rule creation enforcement. I mean really, when you get down to it I am just as important to your game and community as you are. IF NOT MORESO.

So common sense and not leaking huge spoilers are invisible boundaries now? What? To my knowledge, The Forumwarz forum are one of the most lenient as far as rules go. Are you seriously trying to imply that stuff like “don’t post shocks” or “no loli” are hard rules to follow?

Oh yeah, just because you made some content for a web game, it doesn’t make you more valuable or important to the community or any of that bullcrap. It means you’re doing what everyone else is doing and your contributions were slightly less ****ty.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

Let’s take a poll, how many people like me, vs. how many people like you. In fact, let’s jump right to the results. I win by a landslide, even when you combine all of your scores.

Don’t attempt to bumume the answer to your (imaginary) poll straight away – it gives people gas.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

**** all of you. I thought I could make a difference on your ****ty game by making it something people might actually enjoy. But when I try to share some of that, to show people HOW GREAT WE (NOT YOU fabulous personS) MADE IT, which would BOOST SALES AND PREORDERS BECAUSE OF AN INSTILLED CONFIDENCE IN YOUR CUSTOMERS, I get permanently BANNED? **** that.

ENLARGING YOUR TEXT by using capital letters MAKES YOUR POST HARDER TO READ. ESPECIALLY when it is CONSTANTLY ALTERNATING between the two cases. MORON

The reason you were employed by Crotch Zombie was because your Forumbuildr submissions were better than the bull**** most contributors churn out on a weekly basis. It was explained that your submissions conformed to the style of humor preferred by CZ. Given the fact that the people that were chosen to submit content were of a small minority, but were still selected from a huge fanbase, don’t you think for just a second there were so many more people just like you who could have had the chance to contribute but didn’t? The reason they chose you and not them was because you were slightly better, but now thanks to you betraying the trust of CZ they’ll have that chance. Nice going, champ!

Also, what made you think that spoiling the game would be a good idea to boost sales? Regardless of whether it is a major spoiler or not, spoilers HURT sales. It also hurts the relationships between the developers and the customers – It’s like we’re the Harry Potter fans at a live book signing where you’re the guy driving by in a car yelling “SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE”, you’re just ****ing us both off.

Hand0fg0d Posted:

Also, you can all choke on my ****ing male reproductive organ.

Love,

Log in to see images!

Not a very formal way to end a letter IMO.

TL;DR – You are not valuable, you’re as expendable and as easy to replace as one of those red-shirts on Star Trek. The idea of turning this into a court case is ridiculous and there are no problems with the rules you found SO HARD to follow. We’ll miss you, but not for long. Die in a fire.

p.s. I love you h0g