It has been invented already.

Get on top of a building, swallow a fishing line with lots and lots of hooks, tie one end of it to something really tight and jump off. You will experience being turned inside outLog in to see images! Mr Skullbash edited this message on 04/21/2009 1:58PM

Jump into a pit of Tar.

Your body will slowly and extremely painfully disintegrate until there is nothing left of you. Hardcore.

Age. As simple as that. It’s simple,effective, and you won’t woman's genitals out at the end… BECAUSE YOU CAN’T ESCAPE TIME Log in to see images!

For all of you reporting trolling in this thread: By dint of its subject, this is by default a trolling contest.

AntiRules187 Posted:

Got this from ED:

Stand at the top of a tall structure and make sure that there is something relatively soft such as grbum, or a sleeping fat person, below. You should preferably be on the edge of some kind of overhang, such as a bridge.

Next, tie cheese wire around your neck, tight enough that it won’t slip off under tension but loose enough not to choke you. Remember, you don’t want to die looking like a Michael Hutchence wannabe. Nobody wants to be Michael Hutchence. Even Hutchence hated it.

Anyway, tie the cheese wire to something solid on top of the structure. Make sure that there is a good six or seven feet of slack. Now stand at the edge and glue your hands to the side of your head. If you are under the age of 16, you may wish to get a responsible but sociopathic adult to help you. Wait until your hands are glued solidly to your head. This has the added advantage of stopping you from calling for help if you change your mind (you ****ing woman's genitals).

Now jump off the structure. It’ll only hurt for a second, when the cheese wire runs out of slack and slices through your neck. The overhang should stop you from bashing your now-severed head against the wall of the structure when the cutting motion jerks your body backwards.

You should hopefully land face down, although this is really out of your hands by now. Unlike your head, which is glued to them. This has the excellent effect of causing whoever finds your body to think that you have pulled your head off.

****************************

Yeah this is what I was saying, I wonder if somebody actually did that. Log in to see images!

Ok, well for the killing part:

Rent a high-end italian sports car (like a Ferarri or a Lamborguini) and take it to climb mount washington.

Get to the top, shake hands, take pictures. Then, drive it off the top.

For the disposal part:

Wire up high energy explosives in the pbumenger seat or wherever they will fit and hav them go off when the airbag deploys. That way, you wreck a nice car ANNNNDDDD make the morning and evening news.

Rent a cow costume and walk into a slaughterhouse

Okay, if you are serious about what you said, i will tell you the most efficient and less painful method:

My Recommended Method is helium.

What you’ll need:

* A tank of helium; helium is widely used to inflate balloons. If the tank holds enough helium to inflate 600 ballons, you’ll have more than enough: that’s 20 big breaths a minute, times 30 minutes.

* A suitable valve; this should be obtained from the same source as the tank. Be careful when opening this valve, as the gas is highly pressurized. Never put your mouth directly on the output nozzle, or serious injury may occur.

* An oxygen mask; this can be obtained from a medical supplier. Note that the mask may be designed to mix the gas with air, in which case you must modify it, so that it supplies 100% gas. This can usually be done with duct tape.

* A four foot length of rubber tubing; this may come with the mask, otherwise try a hardware store. If the tank’s nozzle and the mask inlet have different diameters, try using several different diameters of tubing, each fit within the other, and thoroughly sealed with duct tape.

Instructions:

If you’re indoors, open all available windows. Attach the valve to the tank, if it’s not already attached. Now attach one end of the tubing to the valve outlet, and the other end to the mask. Test your connections to make sure nothing leaks. Recline or sit, in such a way that you can’t fall over, for example in bed or on a sofa, propped up with pillows. Strap the mask onto your face, so that your mouth and nose are covered. Turn on the valve, and breathe normally. Your voice will become high-pitched almost immediately, and in few minutes, you will lose consciousness. Within fifteen minutes, you will be dead, due to asphyxiation. Make sure you will not be disturbed for at least thirty minutes, just to be sure.

F.A.Q.:

1. A 600-ballon tank is hard to find and/or too heavy, will a 400-balloon tank work?

400 balloons is somewhere between 400 and 800 breaths of helium, depending on the balloon size and your lung capacity. You might want to see how many breaths it takes for you to blow up a balloon, which will give you a better estimate of your capacity. You also need to know how many breaths you take per minute, so time yourself with a wristwatch. Of course this depends on your physical and emotional state: for example if you’re upset you’ll breathe faster. Let’s say you find that it takes you 1.5 breaths to fill up a balloon, and that you take 20 breaths a minute when reasonably relaxed. So:

400 * 1.5 = 600 breaths in the tank.

600 / 20 = 30 minutes.

30 minutes without *any* oxygen would definitely kill you. But the problem is, you’ll still be getting some amount of oxygen, because even the best mask doesn’t seal perfectly. Let’s say you’re getting 75% helium:

30 * .75 = 22 minutes.

22 minutes is still enough to do the job, so yes, a 400-balloon tank will work, provided you have a suitable mask that seals well, and provided you don’t waste a lot of helium testing your mask and connections. But there’s very little room for error, and that’s why i recommend a 600-ballon tank: to avoid failure, you want to be absolutely sure you won’t run out of gas.

2. Where can I find a suitable helium tank, and/or an oxygen mask?

I can provide these info, but this is best done in private.

As for the body disposal, with my method you will not need it, because you will die in very good conditions, perfect for a family funeral.

If you want more, instead of helium, you can use carbon monoxide, this will give you a nice pink, live color making your image better than what was in life.

But this is slighty more difficult.

Drown yourself in a bowl of Jell-o.