Fingerz Posted:

IT COULD BE LUPUS BUT 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 IT ENDS UP BEING ANOTHER AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER. BEST TO RUN BLOOD CULTURES AND SEE IF ANYTHING’S GROWING IN THERE BEFORE BEGINNING TREATMENT FOR LUPUS. BELOW IS A HANDY CHECKLIST I GO THRU WHEN DIAGNOSING MY PATIENTS WITH LUPUS; YOU MIGHT WANT TO COPY THIS FOR USE IN YOUR OWN CLINIC, DR. HOUSE. IT EVEN GIVES YOU THE PERCENTAGE OF PATIENTS WHO TYPICALLY EXHIBIT EACH SYMPTOM. CHEERS!

* Achy joints / arthralgia (95 percent)

* Fever of more than 100 degrees F / 38 degrees C (90 percent)

* Arthritis / swollen joints (90 percent)

* Prolonged or extreme fatigue (81 percent)

* Skin Rashes (74 percent)

* Anemia (71 percent)

* Kidney Involvement (50 percent)

* Pain in the chest on deep breathing / pleurisy (45 percent)

* bumerfly-shaped rash across the cheeks and nose (42 percent)

* Sun or light sensitivity / photosensitivity (30 percent)

* Hair loss (27 percent)

* Abnormal blood clotting problems (20 percent)

* Raynaud’s phenomenon / fingers turning white and/or blue in the cold (17 percent)

* Seizures (15 percent)

* Mouth or nose ulcers (12 percent)

New differential…patient suffers from being a ****. Ideas…go!

Why are you not sucking my male reproductive organ, I’ll never know if I’m teh gay or not if you don’t.

Manine Posted:

lol babe if u got awoman's genitals then we already got enough in commion

I’M NOT SURE HOW THIS IS A QUESTION, BUT…

OrsonScottCard Posted:

Nevermind.

UNFORTUNATELY, BECAUSE YOU CANCELED YOUR APPOINTMENT WITHOUT A 24-HOUR ADVANCE NOTICE, WERE GOING TO HAVE TO CHARGE YOU FOR TODAY’S VISIT. THE BILL WILL BE IN THE MAIL TO YOU SHORTLY.

Fingerz Posted:

I’M A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL; I DON’T HAVE THE TIME OR THE MOTIVATION TO FELLATE YOU. I RECOMMEND GOING TO YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD CRACKWHORE FOR SERVICES OF THAT NATURE. THIS ISN’T THAT KIND OF PLACE, NOW, KINDLY LEAVE BEFORE I CALL SECURITY TO ESCORT YOU OUT.

damnit, all those porn videos of the horny female doctors blowing patients and banging them on the examining table lied to me. **** it, I’ll see myself out after I jack off into all the plants in your waiting room.

fine upstanding member of societyWR Posted:

damnit, all those porn videos of the horny female doctors blowing patients and banging them on the examining table lied to me. **** it, I’ll see myself out after I jack off into all the plants in your waiting room.

DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!

Gothzilla Posted:

I started my own religion, does that automatically make me crazy?

IT IS A VERY GOOD INDICATOR THAT YOU NEED TO FIND A HOBBY. OR MAYBE JUST SOME FRIENDS. YOU KNOW, REAL ONES, NOT THE IMAGINARY KIND.

Fran Posted:

*atchoo*

IF YOU JUST SNEEZED, SOMETHING WAS PROBABLY TICKLING OR IRRITATING THE INSIDE OF YOUR NOSE. SNEEZING, ALSO CALLED STERNUATION, IS YOUR BODY’S WAY OF REMOVING AN IRRITATION FROM YOUR NOSE. WHEN THE INSIDE OF YOUR NOSE GETS A TICKLE, A MESSAGE IS SENT TO A SPECIAL PART OF YOUR BRAIN CALLED THE SNEEZE CENTER. THE SNEEZE CENTER THEN SENDS A MESSAGE TO ALL THE MUSCLES THAT HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER TO CREATE THE AMAZINGLY COMPLICATED PROCESS WE CALL THE SNEEZE.

TISSUE?

I have to wear a CarFreshner so I don’t smell bad.

Should I stop dumpster diving, or should I get therapy to overcome my fear of water, so I can take a shower?

Gothzilla Posted:

I have to wear a CarFreshner so I don’t smell bad.

Should I stop dumpster diving, or should I get therapy to overcome my fear of water, so I can take a shower?

ALSO I RECOMMEND YOU INVEST IN SOME DEODORANT.