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The Unknown Comic's Flamebate Posts
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Rest in Peace, Patch the DarknutAs we go on we remember all the times we spent together
See you at the crossroads. (view post) |
05/29/2009 |
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Rest in Peace, Patch the DarknutGet it? Because he’s NOT dead, but someday he will be. (view post) |
05/29/2009 |
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Rest in Peace, Patch the Darknut<POST RESERVED> (view post) |
05/29/2009 |
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Missed ConnectionsI was supposed to get off of the H bus at the Advanced Auto Parts on Vairo so that I could get on the P bus to take me to Champs’ Bowling Alley. I fell asleep and
MISSED MY CONNECTION
MISSED MY CONNECTION
MISSED MY CONNECTION
MISSED MY CONNECTION
MISSED MY CONNECTION
MISSED MY CONNECTION
MISSED MY CONNECTION
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05/29/2009 |
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Missed ConnectionsYou were an Italian club sandwich with crispy bacon, tomato, salami, ham, and turkey on Italian bread.. I had you before and I knew you were delicious and you would more than sate my appetite, especially because you came with kettle cooked chips and tapioca. Instead I went for the piled high reuben, also with chips and tapioca. It was delicious and served at a moderate temperature, but I still think about you. I will return. (view post) |
05/29/2009 |
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Men and Women are Different in Various Ways!lylyth Posted:
I bet I’d need a machete in order to find my way to your snatch. (view post) |
05/27/2009 |
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Men and Women are Different in Various Ways!All right, ladies, let’s be honest…you have vaaaaaaaaginas! And all the men here tonight, let’s hear it for having external genitaliaaaaa!
But seriously, guys, how about going to strip clubs, huh? Seeing some titties! Getting the **** kicked out of you for touching the dancers! But women, you see, they like being treated as equals. It’s true! That’s why whenever my fat daughter’s dance instructor touches her, I punch her in the mouth! Hey, it’s not like my little girl was going to go anywhere in dance…or real life with just weak legs!
In some countries, women have their clits sheared off with shards of sharp glbum! In other countries, though, men wear skirts! Log in to see images! What a world!
Women are pretty bad drivers, right fellas? But…on the other hand…they can’t join the Freemasons!
Women get their own television channel. It’s called Lifetime. Men get every worthwhile contribution to science and industry!
These days, women can be anything they want to be. Astronauts, pro golfers, scientists. There’s one thing they can’t be…intelligent!
Whoa, whoa, calm down, gals. Must be that time of the month! And by that time of the month I mean you’re all being ungrateful woman's genitalss!
Women are always cold, probably because the heat escapes out their woman's genitalss. Some one could plug it up, huh, guys? Too bad I left my cement at home! Kidding of course, it’s back stage. Never know when you’re going to need cement. Or an IUD, right gals?
That’s the thing…women need all sorts of pills and gadgets to keep from getting knocked up. All men need is the ****ing smarts not to have a womb!
You’re such a great audience. (view post) |
05/27/2009 |
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WHY R MEMBERS BEIN BANNED 4 ASKIN ???????SSergeant Cid Posted:
Sexually suggestive language Log in to see images!
n_gger would have something to say about this. How convenient he’s been banned Log in to see images! (view post) |
05/27/2009 |
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YA UNBAN A N_GGER & THEN KILL URSELFSI’m having trouble sending a report about MCB’s behavior because he doesn’t have an underscore in his name Log in to see images! (view post) |
05/27/2009 |
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I love noobsWe also told him Spacekadt couldn’t mod GD.
**** THAT **** BAD MOD SENDING REPORT (view post) |
05/27/2009 |
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I love noobsThe mods banned him so he couldn’t report MC Banhammer and Spacekadt for being terrible mods!
This guy has been banned for 10 forums, including a Naruto forum. He was looking for a home here. (view post) |
05/27/2009 |
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WHY R MEMBERS BEIN BANNED 4 ASKIN ???????SThat guy just wanted to know how to get the bp we weren’t sending and you treated mods him like a male reproductive organ. (view post) |
05/27/2009 |
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The ForumWarz Book Club: The Crying Of Lot 49 (Spoilers)Good job starting the discussion, guys. I’ve been busy/lazy and I’m not quite done with the book yet. I’ve read it before, but I’m foggy on the details.
I forgot how funny this book could be. Mucho, the band, Mike Fallopian, Manny Di Preso a lawyer/actor in a pilot about Metzger the actor/lawyer, etc.
Books about conspiracy and mysterious goings-on NEVER have satisfying endings, I’ve found. I think the problem is the whole momentum of the book is based on “What the **** is going on, who are these people, and why is this happening?” It makes it interesting, it keeps you reading, because you want answers. The problem is the whole thing is interesting because it makes no sense or because the conspiracy seems so far reaching. If you explain it, it’s not as cool. If you brush it aside, you feel cheated. If the book decides to just accept it, then you feel at odds with the book because it’s fine with something that still mystifies you.
Just a few thoughts, though more on the sub-genre than the book itself. I’ll try to finish up the book soon. (view post) |
05/27/2009 |
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Researchers Discover Why Autism Affects Boys More Than GirlsI had autism…with Bernaise sauce!(view post) |
05/25/2009 |
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This week on forumwarz: attack of the novelty alts!1…2…1,2,3,4…
We are the gimmicks We come from and wide We are the gimmicks Eschewing all our pride We’re down on bended knees Asking all of you please Remember those in Africa This memorial day
I hear you say (you say) No way (no way) Because you are the haves But what of the have nots? What they got? They’ve got naught And that is the point Of this celebrity choir
Black people with bloated bellies Buzzing flies, they sure are smelly But give them some money Maybe they can make a hat And even that (even that) Is more than they had before (befo-oh-oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh-oh!)
We are the gimmicks We come from and wide We are the gimmicks Eschewing all our pride We’re down on bended knees Asking all of you please Remember those in Africa This memorial day
Spend a buck Give a **** For someone who’s not you You selfish woman's genitals (you’re a woman's genitals) You still want (want want want) They want to (to-ta-to-ta-to-to-to) But they have less than yoooou (view post) |
05/23/2009 |
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Some Jokes I've Never Gotten Around To UsingHey, how is Flamebate like a four-year-old with a hare lip being raped by John Holmes? They’re both ugly and split up the middle!But! How is Flamebate NOT like a four-year-old with a hare lip being raped by John Holmes? Flamebate has nothing of value inside! How do you get an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the door and take the human torsos out! My neck hurt, so I bought a new pillow. Then my feet hurt, so I bought new shoes. Then my back hurt, so I bought a new chair. Then my nose began to bleed constantly and I had trouble doing simple math and spelling, so I called the hospital and found out that a dangerous toxin had leaked into the reservoir and I had suffered irreversible nerve damage! The nerve of that toxin, huh?! *arm spasms and knocks over mic stand* So President Obama is intending to keep the spirit of Guantanemo alive, except instead of one prison there will be many scattered through out the world. The thing he didn’t mention is these prisons will only be for the gays! The GAYS. Ahem. I’m thinking about getting married for the…fifth? Sixth time? Sounds about right. Anyway, she’s perfect. Clip-on teeth, fragile bones, uses a cane which means she’s mobile but can’t run fast, and she has a tattoo of a public execution. I’m about to make a proposal… Only problem is I don’t know how to convert American dollars into Euros! Because I’m buying her from a white slavery ring! In EUROPE! But I love Europe. The funny sounds people make, the terrible fashion, the disregard for hygiene. Oh, wait, I’m thinking of the Francis County Home For The Mentally Unsound. Wait, actually I AM thinking of Europe. The circus is in town and you know what the means. Stolen children! (view post) |
05/23/2009 |
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**** TestAND NOW…the thrilling conclusion…
I went back in for my final interview today, took my pills before hand, basically I just had to sign some stuff. They gave me the form I had to take to the drug testing place. Get on the bus, go downtown.
I get to the place, the lady takes me to the bathroom, I empty my pockets: wallet, lighter, key, piece of paper. She takes my lighter like some how I’m going to burn the THC away. I take my special cup, ****, ****, ****. A nice, warm light yellow.
Hand it to her, we go back to the office. I intial my cup, she puts it in this coffee maker looking thing and has me sign some more stuff, then sends me on my way. Now’s when I start to get nervous. Before, I was just like, “Whatever happens, happens” but now whatever happens was about to happen.
The lady told me it’d take a half hour, finally an hour and a half later I get the call.
Walmart got a call from the head office and were told to put a freeze on hiring. Apparently, the call came minutes after I left.
What bull****. (view post) |
05/19/2009 |
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becareful this is what might happen to nooby hackers due to faliureWhat has two legs and no purpose?A double amputee horse! I bet you thought I was going to say nerd o powa, didn’t you? Sorry to let you down. (view post) |
05/17/2009 |
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MEGASHARK vs. GIANT OCTOPUS (notallcaps in case of powerhungry postreserving mods)Oh my God, that ****ing shark bit a PLANE! (view post) |
05/15/2009 |
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A Very Important Message From The Unknown ComicSomething_Witty Posted: |
05/15/2009 |