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The Unknown Comic's Flamebate Posts
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Get to know your new Forumwarz moderator team!Thanks, everyone, this is a big honor. I’ll do everything I can to make this a positive, nurturing environment. (view post) |
03/26/2009 |
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Thoughts on the Xenosaga franchise.It’s like watching a movie where sometimes you have to push bumons. But there’s no reason to push the bumons because the characters aren’t compelling. (view post) |
03/24/2009 |
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Diabolical Disc Demon UnmaskedJohn Lithgow would create a much better gimmick alt. (view post) |
03/24/2009 |
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I Am Buying BooksMore suggestions, because I jerk off to books:
Shadow Box by George Plimpton. It’s starts off with Plimpton wanting to experience boxing first hand, then goes into a brief history of the sport, then it becomes focused on Plimpton and Muhammad Ali. It makes a lot of other weird detours, at one point George asks other writers about dreams they’ve had. Terry Southern’s involved getting blown by a girl with ice cubes in her mouth.
Post Office or Ham on Rye by Charles Bukowski- Semi-autbiographical, these books are about Hank Chinaski’s ****ty life which he spends most of getting plastered, betting on horses, and ****ing women. His other books are good too and his poetry is hilarious.
I have Fun Everywhere I Go by Mike Edison- Autobiographical. This dude worked at a wrestling magazine, wrote porn books, High Times and was in a punk band that toured Europe. Fun read, kind of self-glorifying.
Catch 22 by Joseph Heller- The be all, end all novel about the absurdity of war.
Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer- Hard to describe. Uses just about every literary gimmick ever.
The World According to Garp by John Irving- Long, but Irving uses the length to build very real characters. It begins with an army nurse raping a catatonic soldier so she can become pregnant.
American Gods by Neil Gaiman- One of the best books ever. Mythology in the modern world.
Just a Couple of Days by Tony Vigoritto- A scientist is asked to help make a chemical weapon that makes people incapable of recognizing symbols. Remember: just about everything is a symbol.
Reading fever…CATCH IT! (view post) |
03/24/2009 |
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I Am Buying BooksWhat kind of books do you like?
Vonnegut is always good.
Also, if you have the patience, I just finished Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy.
WARNING: TL;DR description
His writing style is rough. He doesn’t use quotation marks or apostrophes and his prose is almost biblical in style. I know all ready that might sound boring (and some parts of it are, I had a lot of false starts with the book), but it’s really incredible.
It’s set in Texas/Mexico circa 1850 or so and it’s about this kid (who’s only called to as “the kid” through the entire book) who eventually joins up with John Joel Glanton and his scalp hunters. They kill Apaches, collect their scalps and trade them for cash.
Before long they take it to an extreme. They kill everything and anybody. Mexicans, peaceful tribes, children. It’s the most violent book I’ve ever read, which helps show the ruthlessness of the times and man’s warlike tendencies.
The real reason to read the book is the character of The Judge. The Judge is 7 feet tall and completely hairless. He’s almost impossibly smart and ruthless.
I don’t want to give away too much, but I will describe one of the most vivid images in the book. There are a lot that will stick with you, but this one is so bizarre.
The Judge walking through the desert, naked, except for pieces of meat that he’s tied to his body.
A few pages later he’s fashioned a crude umbrella out of meat.
It’s ****ing bizarre.
It’s a great read if you’re willing to commit to it.
One other thing I should probably mention, the plot is pretty thin. There’s a driving motivation (scalps, money), but there aren’t many other goals. No main Apache chief they’re trying to bring down or any final destination. This can also make the book a little boring and confusing, but I like it.
It reinforces the idea that you’re somehow reading a terrible, horrific nightmare. (view post) |
03/24/2009 |
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Hey Oleg(view post) |
03/24/2009 |
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My (ex-)girlfriend has expressed interest in being raped....Spagett Posted:(view post) |
03/23/2009 |
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My (ex-)girlfriend has expressed interest in being raped....I’m guessing you mean enjoy fantasy. Like you in a ski mask, bumaulting her while she’s doing her hair or something.
What you should do is make it real. Really surprise her. Barge in when she’s least expecting it, maybe sneak into her place while she’s at clbum. Duct tape the mouth, bind the limbs, maybe some chloroform or ether.
Do you have a car? You’re going to need one with a big trunk. Shove her on in there, make sure there’s nothing she can use to get free.
Do you have a secluded shack in the woods or some other isolated area? You’re going to need one.
Now, you could enjoy her, or you could leave her for a few days, preferably blindfolded so she has little idea of the pbumage of time.
No matter what path you take, as she’s slowly dieing, roll her over so she’s sees the banner that says Happy Birthday! (view post) |
03/23/2009 |
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FW CrushCrush is a pretty good soda. I prefer it to Slice, actually. It’s got a better tang to it. Also, Crush doesn’t only come in Orange flavor, but has such iterations as birch beer, grapefruit, and even pear!
Pear soda? The gods MUST be crazy!
I don’t think a Forumwarz themed version of Crush soda would be very good. Would it just be an FWZ can design or would it be a new flavor? I wouldn’t want to buy a soda that tastes like **** and feels like a chore to drink.
The point is suicide is always the best option for whatever your problem is.
MOD EDIT: User banned for trolling in non-RP. (view post) |
03/19/2009 |
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POLL: Do you actually use your forum visits daily?I use one visit on Monday. Two visits on Tuesday. Three visits on Wednesday. Four visits on Thursday. Five visits on Friday. Six visits on Saturday Seven visits on Sunday.
I do this to maximize my potential of having potential. The possibility of getting that thing or being that guy become more real through this method. It’s like the brbum ring is erotically shoved in to my my mouth than used to tease my nipples.
It was this method that allowed me to achieve such startling achievements as: e-peen, flezz, forums, kyoubai, and even excelling!
So if you want to be a person instead of just that guy, try my method today! (view post) |
03/19/2009 |
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[CLOSED] MOD IDOL: We're looking for the next great Forumwarz moderator!lol at people who’ve only been here like three months wanting to be mod.
I should be mod. It’s pretty prejudice that you don’t have a gimmick alt mod yet. Gimmick alts are people too. (view post) |
03/19/2009 |
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Seriously?? Flame everywhere?My girl wants to flame everywhere flame everywhere flame everywhere My girl wants to flame everywhere flame everywhere flame everywhere
She flames everywhere flames everywhere She likes to flame everywhere flame everywhere flame everywhere
She likes to flame everywhere
Flame everywhere (view post) |
03/18/2009 |
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Send me bp! <3 KTC aka PhantomessPhantomessk Posted:
And they are sure known for their high standards and sense of quality. (view post) |
03/17/2009 |
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Send me bp! <3 KTC aka PhantomessDid you fall asleep in the sun with a bunch of chocolate chips on your face?
What the **** is on your face?
Did you start taking on OTHER people’s freckles to help with your dire financial situation?
Nice dorm room by the way. I’m sure you’re parents are happy this is what you’re doing with their money! (view post) |
03/17/2009 |
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there should be changes around hereHey! This schmuck stole MY awesome idea for ruining this game.
I better file a bug report. (view post) |
03/16/2009 |
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MOD ABUSE: alt reveal within!You mean Lester Bangs. (view post) |
03/16/2009 |
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The Unknown Comic LIVE! At the Methodist Children's Hospital of South TexasMy newest album is getting RAVE REVIEWS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD
“It sounds like it was recorded in a hospital more so than any other album this year” – Entertainment Weekly
“The coughing of the kids really brings the painful tedium of the routine home” -Rolling Stone
“The ‘Drums Out of Anything’ routine hit it’s peak when TUC accidentally uses a full bed pan. Unfortunately, listeners can’t enjoy it as much as the children seemed to.” – Christian-Science Monitor
“The bonus DVD was simply a poorly made infomercial for a product called ‘The Mop Whitener.’ ”- TIME (view post) |
03/16/2009 |
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The Unknown Comic LIVE! At the Methodist Children's Hospital of South TexasHey, kids! How’s it going? Not too well if you’re in here, I guess.Being around Methodists and all! I stopped by the burn ward before popping in here. Now, I’m so ****ing hungry for jerky! Now, I know some of you are pretty low…white blood cell count-wise! But things will get better. Probably should’ve told the terminal kids to cover their ears for that last bit. Oh well, live and learn. Well…some of us can! Any one in here need an organ transplant? Because I just robbed a church and those Wurlitzers are hard to fence! What do you get when you cross a nine-year old with a 9 lb tumor? I don’t get anything, but the Salvation Army’s going to get a ****load of toys! I hope my children never have to come to a place like this. I mean, I’m all ready paying child support, why should I pay for ANOTHER kind of life support! You know, you little bastards don’t have to laugh. It doesn’t matter to me, I’m not even getting ****ing paid for this, it’s community service! Besides that kid in the corner is loving this ****. God dammit, he’s having a seizure. NURSE! So…how’s the food in here? Can I get a plate or does it only come in a tube? It must be pretty cool to not have to go to school and take pain killers all day. I know, because I did it all through high school and my liver never even failed, you jaundice suckers! But it should’ve failed. I’ve treated my body like **** for over 40 years and I’m fine! Talk about justice, huh! (view post) |
03/15/2009 |
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(CLOSED!): Create the Forumwarz Motto — Win BP and E-Peen™!Forumwarz: It certainly is a game!
Forumwarz: Now with 10% more interactivity!
Forumwarz: Comprehension of English require!
Forumwarz: There’s a ‘z’ at the end of our name!
Forumwarz: Almost rhymes with horse! (view post) |
03/15/2009 |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY male reproductive organ HYMENgo to church on yo birfday fabulous person (view post) |
03/08/2009 |