Hey, kids! How’s it going? Not too well if you’re in here, I guess.

Being around Methodists and all!

I stopped by the burn ward before popping in here.

Now, I’m so ****ing hungry for jerky!

Now, I know some of you are pretty low…white blood cell count-wise! But things will get better.

Probably should’ve told the terminal kids to cover their ears for that last bit. Oh well, live and learn.

Well…some of us can!

Any one in here need an organ transplant?

Because I just robbed a church and those Wurlitzers are hard to fence!

What do you get when you cross a nine-year old with a 9 lb tumor?

I don’t get anything, but the Salvation Army’s going to get a ****load of toys!

I hope my children never have to come to a place like this.

I mean, I’m all ready paying child support, why should I pay for ANOTHER kind of life support!

You know, you little bastards don’t have to laugh. It doesn’t matter to me, I’m not even getting ****ing paid for this, it’s community service!

Besides that kid in the corner is loving this ****.

God dammit, he’s having a seizure. NURSE!

So…how’s the food in here?

Can I get a plate or does it only come in a tube?

It must be pretty cool to not have to go to school and take pain killers all day.

I know, because I did it all through high school and my liver never even failed, you jaundice suckers!

But it should’ve failed. I’ve treated my body like **** for over 40 years and I’m fine!

Talk about justice, huh!