Clbum
Clbumes are what you are. What clbum you choose makes the difference in what attacks and stores you get. Different clbumes affect your Ego and such. Many clbumes have "roles". These roles are copied from Encyclopedia Dramatica and are as follows:
The mage/cleric clbum. Comes complete with the following:
- Enormous damage. One crotch shot can cause more disruption to a thread than many, many irritating blinking gifs. At the higher levels, just one threat to call the partyvan can have all but the toughest forumgoers running for cover.
- Equipment like ****-me shoes and designer shades that provide huge boosts to charisma, offensiveness and self confidence.
- Healing abilities and buffs in the form of being a completely self-absorbed ****.
Of course, the upkeep on a Camwhore is astronomical (the same goes for the hackers also). The cost of repairing a PruneBook and a pair of Harris Piltons can run into hundreds for just one raid, and if you run out of lipstick you're ****ED.
The tank (as in armor, not weapons)/archer clbum. Trolls do little damage because in the grand scheme of things, male reproductive organ jokes and annoying ASCII art just aren't that shocking. As a trade-off they are nearly impossible to hurt as they know they are doing it for the lulz, and this effect is compounded if they post while fapping. Being a Forumwarz Troll is thus a tedious but spiritually rewarding affair.
As well as the drugs which chill you out that all the characters have access to, Trolls get access to drugs like ****ty alcohol, jimson weed, and cocaine. You know, the stuff that turns you into a BIGGER woman's genitals. They can also increase their "Douchebaggery" by buying fun things like CP, illegal immigrant servants and - the Holy Grail of all trolls - the Mona Lisa with a Hitler mustache drawn on it.
The berserker/ninja clbum; the lower his ego drops, the more irritating and shrill he gets. This means that his clbum has the most variables thrown in, and makes for the least boring game (but then, why would you want to?)
The enormous stat boosts that Emos gain by getting themselves hurt were originally so excessive that the game system had to be rejigged to nerf them. bumhurt Emo players lurk everywhere in Forumwarz, dreaming of the day when the South shall rise again.
The mage/nuker clbum. Instead of regularly posting, the Hacker clbum ****s up a forum by bull****ting around with the basic format (with the exception of the ipz attack). Be it the background of the forum or font of posters, Hackers are incredibly powerful even at low levels. A huge drawback of Hackers, however, is their enormous upkeep. They're allowed to have tons of different forms of equipment. This is made up for the fact that their spiders pick up random files from the web, that if you can complete, you can sell up at the Ppwn Shoppe for some sweet Flezz.
A slightly upgraded Re-Re, with a few stronger attacks and it is the equivalent of a warrior clbum.
The ultimate character clbum (the equivalent of a beginner clbum). Pure, elegant and unsullied like a Buddhist monk, the Re-Re is charged with crushing the whole internet beneath his heel using no abilities or special items whatsoever - APART FROM FLOODING IT WITH CATS.
Only the completely hardcore choose to remain Re-Re.
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