Good evening Phil. I can call you Phil right? I mean under the cirgreat timesstances I bumume you’re going to get to know me quite a bit so I should be able to get to know you a bit too.

Now then, the basics. As you can see, I am genuinely, certified, dead. Now I must say that when I was alive I wasn’t the best of men, though what can I say, I was a man who enjoyed life.

The problem you see was that I enjoyed life quite a bit too much. The good life, it was all I ever wanted. Abundant riches, a beautiful wife, I had it all. But it was with a price. Not all of the money I had earned was, well, not my money.

I was a gambler you see. Not just your average “off to the races darling” gambler, a fully fledged “I’ll get you your money, don’t kill my wife” kind of gambler.

That’s not to say that I didn’t have a lot of money, because I did, but the way that I came about my wealth was perhaps not the wisest of ways. It’s safe to say that I wasn’t liked when I was alive. I mean sure, people would smile, have a chat, shake a hand or two, but it was all but false, a lie. And they knew I knew, but life was easier just to create a false sense of happiness.

What has still left me puzzled to this day is who murdered me and why. One minute I was alive, next minute I’m waking up 6 feet under.

I’m sure you have many questions and I don’t wish to ramble on with information which you don’t deem necessary, so feel free to ask more specific questions which would help with your case.

Looks like business is picking up. I might be able to start paying Lola again.

The Gentleman Posted:

Good evening Phil. I can call you Phil right? I mean under the cirgreat timesstances I bumume you’re going to get to know me quite a bit so I should be able to get to know you a bit too.

Now then, the basics. As you can see, I am genuinely, certified, dead. Now I must say that when I was alive I wasn’t the best of men, though what can I say, I was a man who enjoyed life.

The problem you see was that I enjoyed life quite a bit too much. The good life, it was all I ever wanted. Abundant riches, a beautiful wife, I had it all. But it was with a price. Not all of the money I had earned was, well, not my money.

I was a gambler you see. Not just your average “off to the races darling” gambler, a fully fledged “I’ll get you your money, don’t kill my wife” kind of gambler.

That’s not to say that I didn’t have a lot of money, because I did, but the way that I came about my wealth was perhaps not the wisest of ways. It’s safe to say that I wasn’t liked when I was alive. I mean sure, people would smile, have a chat, shake a hand or two, but it was all but false, a lie. And they knew I knew, but life was easier just to create a false sense of happiness.

What has still left me puzzled to this day is who murdered me and why. One minute I was alive, next minute I’m waking up 6 feet under.

I’m sure you have many questions and I don’t wish to ramble on with information which you don’t deem necessary, so feel free to ask more specific questions which would help with your case.

Sure, you can call me Phil. I’ve been called worse before and probably will be again before the week is over. I keep a bottle here in my desk drawer for the really hard cases and you look like you’ve had it pretty rough. If you want a drink, I’ve got whiskey, but I can’t promise the glbum is clean.

First, I think I’d better hear about the people closest to you and anybody you think might have had a motive to knock you off. How did you get along with that beautiful wife? Was she happy? Did you have kids? Did she inherit your money or maybe stand to gain from a nice, fat life insurance policy? You probably don’t want to think about your wife like that, but I have to if I want to eliminate her as a suspect.

I’ll also need to know about your gambling and any other business bumociates. Did you owe money to anyone? Anyone owe money to you? Did any big games go down recently? Most importantly, who do you think would have wanted to kill you?

And last, do you know how you died? I won’t lie; you look like a mess. But I can’t tell straight off how they did it.

JINKIES!

We were the best detectives around until some of my friends went missing. I’m as lost without them as I would be without my glbumes.

Could you help me find them? And while you’re at it, could you help me find my glbumes, too? I seem to have lost them again.

Velma Dinkley Posted:

JINKIES!

We were the best detectives around until some of my friends went missing. I’m as lost without them as I would be without my glbumes.

Could you help me find them? And while you’re at it, could you help me find my glbumes, too? I seem to have lost them again.

Would you be after 2 guys, a girl and a dog?

If so, they stopped by the station to stock up on supplies, about 10 hours ago. One of the guys just about ate out the kitchen; I’ve never seen an appetite like that. Only thing that could challenge him was his dog, biggest bloody thing I’ve ever seen. Anyway, they headed out west, towards Tooley Creek, said they were chasing ‘the Beast of the Pilliga’. Bunch of nonsense if you ask me, just an old swaggies tale, but they wouldn’t listen. Probably been had by a croc, silly buggers. We’ll go look for ‘em in the morning.

Wos gebt’s, male reproductive organ? You muscht give help!

Mine Deitsch horses, they do not vant to be eating! I kennt the Diebel had gotten into them, so I did; now, I am not so schure.

Faddah in Himmel! Ewer since mine nephew brought home his electrisch maker of light from the city, the horses schtay awake all night, making neighingsch unt not sleeping. Please, find a solution before the horses schtarve!

I have a feeling this thread will be important to Episode 3.

A whisky would sound great, but I’m afraid the site of it going through my body may not be for the most of your liking.

Now, the questions. I didn’t really have anyone close to me, other than my old business partner, Greg Jehnsen. We’d been friends since childhood and he would’ve continued to run the business with me if he hadn’t come down with tuberculosis. Crippled him for life and he’d been bed ridden since, but that’s another story. I would like to say that my wife was close to me, but in the last years of my “life” we had become distant, my gambling and business taking over what life we had together. I gave her everything thing that she could ever want, except for what she wanted most, my love. She’d had a miscarriage about 5 years before my said “death”, but we never really spoke about it at all. And feel free to speak about my wife however you wish, being able to watch others like… this, gave me a new look on how people really thought of me.

Now as I’ve said I only really had one business bumociate, and that was Greg. As for money, I owed quite a bit. Not to Greg, but I had pockets stashed and borrowed here and there, investments you could say. One man that springs to mind was a Mr. Larry Slynx, one of my gambling “buddies”. A month or two before my death there’d been a large poker game, few of the top businessmen from around town. High stakes, low morals, a mans game. By the end of the night I had lost around $50,000, of which Larry knew I owed him. Alcohol had been drunk and words had been said, but nothing too serious.

As for who wanted to kill me, I don’t know. Of course there were people who I knew hated me, but enough to kill me? After all these years it’s still hard to comprehend.

And how I died? Well, I’m sure they meant for it to be a clean death, but sadly a quick slit of my throat didn’t work. I still remember it as if it was yesterday, walking down the dark lamplit road, the sound of approaching footsteps from being me. The knife cut across my throat, though it failed to kill me, leaving my gurgling in the street. My murderer obviously didn’t anticipate this, as they then proceded to cut open my chest and stomach to make sure the job was done.

Is there anything else you wish to know?

iiii lostttt myyy [bKITTTTIEEEEEE /// Log in to see images!

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]HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!11!!b[[ Log in to see images!

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Jebediah the Hypocrite Posted:

Wos gebt’s, male reproductive organ? You muscht give help!

Mine Deitsch horses, they do not vant to be eating! I kennt the Diebel had gotten into them, so I did; now, I am not so schure.

Faddah in Himmel! Ewer since mine nephew brought home his electrisch maker of light from the city, the horses schtay awake all night, making neighingsch unt not sleeping. Please, find a solution before the horses schtarve!

Well, Jeb, I’ve got an angle on your horse problem. I think you have to take a revolver, see, and shoot out that light. Use a nice, steady hand and you’ll hit it. Then you’ve got to take all the liquor you can find, make it bourbon whiskey, and pour it into the horses’ drinking trough. Once they’re nice and sleepy, tell ‘em a little bedtime story. Maybe a lullaby. Works every time for me.

Detective Phil Marlot Posted:

Well, Jeb, I’ve got an angle on your horse problem. I think you have to take a revolver, see, and shoot out that light. Use a nice, steady hand and you’ll hit it. Then you’ve got to take all the liquor you can find, make it bourbon whiskey, and pour it into the horses’ drinking trough. Once they’re nice and sleepy, tell ‘em a little bedtime story. Maybe a lullaby. Works every time for me.

By Got, you vere right! I schot der light makers and vat do you know, the light goes out just like that! Mine horsesch, they are schleeping again.

How can I repay you?