After much deliberation, I must declare PseudoNymph the winner of this contest. The tragic tale of Stu the loneliest banana made me lol. Your five brownie points are on their way.

Honorable mentions go to generichaxor for a heartwarming tale of an orphan receiving the best Christmas gift an orphan could ever hope to receive, and M4ST3RSTROK3 for his enthusiastic drunken GWAR costumes. Fantastic.

To everyone else, thank you for entering and/or commenting. I love you all.

FattyMcFat Posted:

The rules are simple: post a picture and tell a story about it, one picture and story per post. Enter as many times as you like, but please do not post a picture or story that has already been posted in this thread. Nudity is neither prohibited nor required, and will not necessarily help you win. Just be creative. The only limits are your imagination and the global site rules. Feel free to comment on and critique each other’s entries. Exactly one week from now (at about 4pm EDT, give or take :30), I will select my favorite post and send the author 5 Brownie Points. Good luck.

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One day, a retard went to a baseball game! now retards are a very poorly race and are on par with jews and fine upstanding member of societys.

The ball was hit towards the retard and he **** himself and turned gay.

THEN he turned into evil trout and forumwarz wuz born.

THE END Log in to see images!

sn4x Posted:

you ****ing fail at life

SHUP JEW fabulous person!

your just jealous cuz my story is the best.

BillyBobBoo was banned for this post by Evil Trout

FattyMcFat Posted:

The rules are simple: post a picture and tell a story about it, one picture and story per post. Enter as many times as you like, but please do not post a picture or story that has already been posted in this thread. Nudity is neither prohibited nor required, and will not necessarily help you win. Just be creative. The only limits are your imagination and the global site rules. Feel free to comment on and critique each other’s entries. Exactly one week from now (at about 4pm EDT, give or take :30), I will select my favorite post and send the author 5 Brownie Points. Good luck.

can i do this?

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Story:

Once upon a time, in a city far, far away, there lived a poor starving orphan who had never gotten a true Christmas gift in his life. He had no money, and no source of income, so he lived on the streets. Every Christmas, he would see the myriads of opulent families going to buy Christmas trees. Every Christmas, he would put his nose to windows and watch children open their gifts. He envied these children for the happiness they had on Christmas.

For this reason, the poor orphan set off to celebrate Christmas on his own. He found an old computer in the dump in which he lived. Secretly using the power outlets in the nearby buildings, the orphan began to play Forumwarz.

The orphan was still lonely and starving, but the game helped to alleviate the pain just slightly. Then, the dreaded Christmas time came around. The orphan desperately prayed that someone would grant him a gift of any sort for Christmas. The orphan noticed that all the children had trees under which they received their gifts.

He rummaged through the fallen branches on people’s lawns, and gathered fallen leaves and branches for his tree. Using the sticky dirt and discarded tape from the dump, the orphan put together a tree, and planted it in the ground. This minuscule creation was diminutive in comparison to the trees of the richer children, but it was a tree nonetheless. The orphan was content in his accomplishments, and eagerly awaited the arrival of Christmas day.

Finally, Christmas day arrived. The orphan awoke early in the morning to check if any gifts had been left under his tiny tree. Alas, there was nothing under the tree. But the ground below the tree had a distinct glitter to it. The orphan, with no tools but his hands, scooped away the dirt to reveal the treasure hidden underneath. It was a shiny metal case with the word “Forumwarz” written in large, gold letters. The orphan opened the case, eagerly anticipating a great present inside. The case contained a note. The orphan looked at the note and read it.

“Merry Christmas! Here is your present” read the message. The orphan did not see the present in the case and was dismayed. But then, a sudden gust of wind moved the note away, revealing his present underneath. The case contained 4 sparkling Brownie Points. The orphan was ecstatic that he had finally received his first Christmas present. He was surprised that a present of such grandeur would be given to someone like him. He fell to his knees and began to thank the divinities to whom he prayed nightly. Then, the boy took his computer and went to spend his greatest Christmas present ever.

Log in to see images!Once upon a time…

I mean…Okay. You know those stories, where the Narrator is all happy and says “Once upon a time..”?

Well, this story is kind of like that. the whole….Once upon a time bit.

So. Once upon a time…

There was this man.

This guy.

That guy….He had plans. Dreams. Hopes.

He knew he would do something great with his life and to discover the meaning of what that could possibly mean, That guy went on a journey.

A Journey of Hopes, Of Dreams, of Self Realization and redemption. Of love and of all things that are good and happy.

There was also something especially special about that guy.

The world was dependent on his journey, of Hopes, Of Dreams, of Self Realization and Redemption. Of love and of all things that are good and happy.

Why you ask?

Why did the world need to rely on one man.

Here is the good part.

The reason why, the world would end up depending on this man was this.

That guy. The one who would save the world? He knew he would do something great. and so did the world.

So he went on his little journey.

He walked, and ran. He jumped and swam. He also once tried flying but it didn’t work out so well.

So he went on his journey of Hopes, Of Dreams, of Self Realization and redemption. Of love and of all things that are good and happy.

and then He returned.

That guy returned and he knew what he would do.

It was a secret though. That he had learned on his journey of Hopes, Of Dreams, of Self Realization and redemption. Of love and of all things that are good and happy.

That is not the good part though.

THIS is the good part.

That guy knew what to do, He could solve his countries problems. He could solve every man, woman, and childs problems.

He knew how to become smarter, rid the world of famine, and pain and suffering and Disease.

That guy could save the world. He could have so easily. He almost did once to.

Sadly though, the story isn’t about that.

It isn’t about how that one man could solve his countries problems, or anyone else’s problems.

How he could become smarter, Give food to everyone, stop everyone’s pain, everyone’s sicknesses, everyone’s hurt.

This is not a story about how he could have made life wonderful,h ow everyone could have gotten along, and been happy.

No more Wars or Famine or Disease, or Anger.

No see, the good part is this right here. He was afraid because he knew life would become boring. Maybe not for everyone else but that this was indeed his peak.

So, That secret he had discovered.

The one about Hopes, and Of Dreams, of Self Realization and redemption. Of love and of all things that are good and happy.

He walked and walked, and walked about one more mile after that.

When he got to wherever he went and one mile, he wrote down the secret.

He may have buried, or burned it, or let it drift away hoping that someone more noble then he would find it and take the weight of making the world a better place.

That guy though, went home.

and he fell in love with a beautiful girl.

They settled down and had a normal life.

He would work, and she would work.

Eventually they had children and they grew up, and had children of there own. It was a happy family, and no trouble was to great for them to overcome.

and he never ever spoke of the secrets he had found.

He lived 70 years after that day, and died a happy old man with his wife, many-a friend, and plenty of children and grandchildren to satisfy any desires.

The world continued on, in strife, Begging for a hero,one who never came.

Others attempted to go on the same journey he made,

The journey. His journey, of Hopes, Of Dreams, of Self Realization and Redemption. Of love and of all things that are good and happy.

They all failed, and any memory of this pbumed opportunity faded away into myth.

and…

Oh…

uhm…

There was a point to this story, but I’ve…

Well, I think I’ve forgot it.

Wait question

Can the picture be anime?

Because I already drew mine.

PseudoNymph Posted:

HOTLINKED IMAGE

Hey mate, might want to rehost your image, since the site that’s currently hosting it apparently doesn’t like people stealing their bandwidth. Log in to see images!

I HAVE NO IDEA IF I CAN ALL CAPS IN THIS THRADE OR NOT. I DON’T PARTICULARLY CARE EITHER Log in to see images!

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THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW IMAGINARY MONEY CAN GET YOU TO DO HORRENDOUS THINGS.

MOOCOW WOKE UP ONE MORNING AND CHECKED FLAMEBATE TO SEE A CONTEST RUN BY A VERY ****TY KLAN. MOOCOW THEN DECIDED THAT INTERNET DOLLARS > DIGNITY AND DECIDED TO GRAB A CAMERA AND DESTROY THE RETINAS OF MANY POOR FLAMEBATE USERS. ON HER WAY TO THE BED SHE TRIPPED OVER HER BREASTS, SCRAPED HER KNEE ON THE CARPET AND BANGED HER HEAD ON THE CUPBOARD.

UNFORTUATLEY SHE WAS SAVED FROM DEATH BY ONE OF HER MANY CHINS WHICH CUSHIONED THE IMPACT AND LIVED TO MOO ANOTHER DAY. TIRED FROM THE IMPACT SHE CALLED HER TRUSTY HELPER MONKEY FASHANU TO GATHER SOME FOOD FOR THE HOURLY GRAZE.

AFTER THE HOURLY INFLUX OF CALORIES AND FAT, MOOCOW DISMISSED FASHANU, FANTASISING NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME ABOUT HOW SHE WANTED TO FRY HIM UP AND EAT HIM. SHE KNEW SHE COULDN’T DO THIS THOUGH SINCE SHE WOULD HAVE TO PERFORM MANY OF HER BASIC HUMAN FUNCTIONS ALONE AND BURN A FEW CALORIES OFF.

THEN REMEMBERING THE LURE OF FAKE MONEY ON THE SHINY BOX, SHE GRABBED HER DIGITAL CAMERA WITH HER SAUSAGE FINGERS AND AFTER 15 MINUTES OF FUMBLING FINALLY PRESSED THE CORRECT SEQUENCE OF bumONS TO GET THE TIMER WORKING.

SHE THEN DIVED ONTO THE BED, WHICH GROANED HEAVILY BUT THE REINFORCED STEEL BARS HELD HER FRAME ONCE AGAIN BY THE NEAREST OF MARGINS, SPREAD HER LEGS TO EXPOSE WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS THE BEELZEBUB OF woman's genitalsS AND PUT ON HER BEST SEXY FACE. THE CAMERA TOOK THE PICTURE AND PROMPTLY BURST INTO FLAMES HOWEVER IN THE FASTEST MOOCOW HAD MOVED IN HER ENTIRE LIFE SHE MANAGED TO QUELL THE FLAMES AND SAVE THE MEMORY CARD. MOOCOW THEN UPLOADED THE PICTURE TO THE DELIGHT OF FORUMWARRIORS EVERYWHERE

THIS IS HOW THIS PICTURE CAME TO EXIST

Protein_Pump Posted:

oh crap i just read this…

j/k who gives a ****? Log in to see images!

Well, y’know — you should.

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This is a seven-year-old Troll who’s name is Buffalo Chip. He lives in Toledo. This is the story of his life.

There once was a man who lived on a building in a crows’ nest. This man was known only as El Buffalo Chip. One day he sprinkled some Antifreeze on his flowers, and was saddened when they shriveled up and died. He decided that he would go on a quest to save the chickens of the world from premature enjoy by male reproductive organroaches. After his quest he had a one-night stand with a chicken named Henrietta and fell into a large stately house. Bill Gates laughed at Buffalo Chip and Buffalo Chip blew up. After he blew up he picked up his drycleaning but was stopped by EvilTrout who could speak German. He ran from EvilTrout and ran into a friendly neighborhood walrus, who persuaded him to trade his cow, Purd, for three magical razors. He used the razors and was taken swiftly to Buhdda, who had him reincarnated as Jessica Simpson. He, now Jessica Simpson, drove in his car until he was attacked by a knife weilding spoon. He ran away and then died again. He was reincarnated into himself and went to India to vanquish the male reproductive organroaches. Just when the male reproductive organroaches had almost one, Henrietta’s voice echoed in his head. “Use the Hat”. He used the hat and it saved the world somehow. He went home, and said ‘What a day!’. He fell asleep, and then the hat went on to become a senator.