Meet Stu. Stu’s your average run of the mill member of the Musaceau family, Musa genus. He is a common banana.

Every day, Stu wakes up at 7 am. He rolls out of bed and puts on his work clothes. He walks to the corner and waits 12 minutes. Then he gets on the big red bus and rides it into town. He walks 3 blocks straight, and one left. He walks into his office building and tips his hat to the doorman. He takes the elevator up 7 stories, and walks out. It takes 28 steps to get to his office. He sits there for 4 hours, taking tech-support calls from people who can’t work their new toasters.

At 12:15pm, Stu walks out of his office and walks to the end of the hall. He takes a right and walks into the kitchen. He sits at the grey table and pulls out his lunch. A peanut bumer sandwich, white bread, cut into diagonals. He finishes his sandwich. He walks to his office.

He sits there, taking more calls until five o’ clock. At five o’clock, he walks out of his office. 28 steps to the elevator. 7 stories down. A tip of the hat to the evening doorman. 1 block straight, 3 blocks left. The big red bus takes him home. He walks to his house and sees his neighbor Paul.

Paul waves to Stu. “Hey, Stu!”

Stu nods.

“You know how I know you’re never lonely, Stu?”

Stu shakes his head, though he knows Paul’s response.

Because you hang around in bunches! “BUNCHES! Get it, Stu? BUNCHES!”

Stu nods politely.

“Yea, Stu, it’s because you have appeal! A-PEEL! Get it, Stu? PEEL!”

Stu nods again, pretending Paul hasn’t told this joke to Stu every day for the last 10 years.

It was a typical Wednesday night. Stu walked into his house and climbed up the stairs. He took off his hat and climbed into bed. Stu waited for sleep.

Thursday morning arrives. Stu wakes up at 7. Work clothes. 12 minutes. Big red bus. 3 straight, 1 left. Tip of the hat. 7 stories up. 28 steps. 4 hours. “Ma’am, you need to plug it in first.”

12:15pm. End of the hall. Grey table. Peanut bumer diagonals.

“Sir, that’s not how you burn a CD.” Five o’ clock. 28 steps. 7 stories. Tip of the hat. 1 straight, 3 left. Big red bus. Paul.

BUNCHES!

A-PEEL!

Stu removes his hat. But he does not go upstairs. Tonight, he stays in his living room.

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Guess Paul was wrong.