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Macho Within This Thread: A Modest Proposal Regarding Your Electronic Penii.

Jalapeno Boo-
tyhole

MODERATOR
Avatar: 44 2012-11-06 12:31:55 -0500

[Crotch Zombie]

Level 44 Emo Kid

I had the first bum avatar.

Dearest Forumwarriorz,

I am here to make a modest proposal about how we approach E-Peen™ length going forward.

I am posting this with the full understanding that, any time change is made, particularly in matters concerning E-Peen and the lengths thereof, the community has oftentimes been mbumively put off. This is, of course, understandable. Our E-Peens are a fundamental part of our self-characterization. Attempts to radically alter this system has proven widely unpopular.

And yet, perhaps quixotically, I’m suggesting that very thing.

I’m proposing what I’m calling “The Forumwarz Polar Plunge.” (You can thank your fellow Flamebater, Invariel, for helping inspire that name.)

You see, when we first introduced relative E-Peen length, we did so to ensure that the highest possible length would be 13 inches, which we considered the theoretical maximum human male reproductive organ length, and therefore understandable in context. Of course, the automated relative adjustment of E-Peen lengths was, admittedly, a mbumive failure.

However, the resolution — which was to simply let your E-Peen grow to monstrous lengths — is beginning to look a little silly. Thus, I propose a mbumive, sitewide shrinkage, bringing all current E-Peen lengths to a more manageable size and reducing the current leader to a length much closer to the 13 inches we originally envisioned (sorry, scully, but hear us out).

This means an across-the-board reduction of everyone’s Peen length. Scary thought. But because you will be, relatively speaking, in the exact same spot in the ranking, it really shouldn’t matter one iota. It is simply a numerically cosmetic change to bring the numbers more in line with what we had originally intended.

We realize that “Peen creep” is inevitable with further accomplishments and the introduction of new rewards, meaning those numbers will once again inch past 13. We’re cool with that. Let’s say that with smaller incremental growth, scully soon finds herself at a gargantuan 15.3 inches. That’s not so bad, given the hormones available in today’s beef products, and perhaps somewhere down the line will have to do another Plunge. But for the time being, we think this is a pretty good solution.

Quite frankly, our current formula for determining E-Peen length is flawed and not very elegant. We think that we can apply a much smarter and nuanced algorithm that will still encourage accelerated growth for newer players who can pbum simple, often automated challenges; reduce slightly the apparent differences between the higher-ranked players; and preserve the current state of our E-Peen leaderboard.

This truly is a modest proposal in that it should have no real affect. However, in the interest of transparency, and to prime you for the shock later on should we choose to implement this policy, I thought I would announce it ahead of time in order to get your input.

Thank you and good day.

CrinkzPipe

Avatar: 35643 2015-02-20 21:59:22 -0500
8

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 62 Emo Kid

Hi, I'm an adult whos into bumes. But not boners!

You made it sound really confusing. So I have no clue what you are getting at.

ChilePepino

Avatar: 101005 2010-01-24 16:17:40 -0500
5

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 35 Permanoob

Well, spf357 really rocks.

CrinkzPipe Posted:

You made it sound really confusing. So I have no clue what you are getting at.

what i got is that they are shortening our male reproductive organes once again because they are fearful of long male reproductive organs.

CrinkzPipe

Avatar: 35643 2015-02-20 21:59:22 -0500
8

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 62 Emo Kid

Hi, I'm an adult whos into bumes. But not boners!

ChilePepino Posted:

what i got is that they are shortening our male reproductive organes once again because they are fearful of long male reproductive organs.

Wasn’t the first time they did this bad enough?

MC Banhammer

Avatar: 1887 2011-07-31 00:40:59 -0400
36

[Good Omens]

Level 69 Troll

Trying to create drama to drum up the ratings by any means necessary!

Sounds to me like he’s suggesting a proportional peen shrinkage across the board so that everyone gets smaller but remains in the same position relative to each other. A percentage reduction across the board.

Fortunato

Avatar: 72902 2010-02-03 18:45:17 -0500
32

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 51 Troll

ZOMBIE CANNONBALL OF GORE

Yes, what JB has in mind is making our peens disappear.

I for one find this action horrific. I like sitting at 15 inches, it makes me feel so much better about my irl size.

Do it anyway, w/e

CrinkzPipe

Avatar: 35643 2015-02-20 21:59:22 -0500
8

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 62 Emo Kid

Hi, I'm an adult whos into bumes. But not boners!

MC Banhammer Posted:

Sounds to me like he’s suggesting a proportional peen shrinkage across the board so that everyone gets smaller but remains in the same position relative to each other. A percentage reduction across the board.

So are they going to do this buy rethinking/reducing the length current peens give? Or is it like going back to the way it used to be. If scully gets a peen every loses inches?

The Baroness

Avatar: 111827 Sat Apr 25 22:25:53 -0400 2009
4

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 35 Camwhore

I REALLY MISS INCIT, LOL

Okay, so what exactly is the point if everything remains the same, as you say? Just because it is what you had originally intended? I suggest you adjust your views, not the peens.

There are many other improvements that have been suggested and promised that are far more important than who has the ‘most realistic’ e-peen length. Like tubmail enhancements and .moar file extraction enhancements.

ChilePepino

Avatar: 101005 2010-01-24 16:17:40 -0500
5

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 35 Permanoob

Well, spf357 really rocks.

CrinkzPipe Posted:

So are they going to do this buy rethinking/reducing the length current peens give? Or is it like going back to the way it used to be. If scully gets a peen every loses inches?

I think they are going to make it work the way it does actually, but with shortert numbers.

I, for one, don’t like this idea, it feels awful to start growing a decent peen and then have it amputeed (again), even if everyone else is getting it shortened.

Bigandtasty

Avatar: 67579 Sat Jan 17 15:30:20 -0500 2009
12

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

Uh…I may not be understanding this correctly, but if you reduce lengths in that manner won’t it screw up the length of each peen awarded (because everybody has a different combination of peens)?

Balloon

Avatar: Balloon's Avatar
28

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 35 Camwhore

Inflate my ovaries until they pop out of me and float away

We should just measure the length from the ground, they bigger you get the smaller the number,

I don’t really care that much. Slightly feel bad for those people you have 5 or less.

kittiejenn

Avatar: 18080 2011-11-01 00:29:42 -0400
39

[Backdoor Amigos]

Level 35 Emo Kid

So damn naughty it wraps back around to nice.

But my 20” are so pretty and even Log in to see images!

Nicco

MODERATOR
Avatar: 24745 2011-07-31 00:34:23 -0400
51

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Troll

Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco

Too bad we gotta re-calculate all those E-Peen™ lengths again.

Rage_****

Avatar: Deformed Child
27

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 69 Troll

I AM SURPRISED THAT THIS WEBSITE IS STILL AROUND

This is actually a decent idea. Apart from number aesthetics, this would work better. Also, I suppose you’re going to re-value ALL of the peens? Otherwise, any new peen will become a monstrous gain in the proposed 13 inches, making it even more uneven.

MC Banhammer

Avatar: 1887 2011-07-31 00:40:59 -0400
36

[Good Omens]

Level 69 Troll

Trying to create drama to drum up the ratings by any means necessary!

The Baroness Posted:

Okay, so what exactly is the point if everything remains the same, as you say? Just because it is what you had originally intended? I suggest you adjust your views, not the peens.

This.

I mean, come on, it’s a site about TROLLING. Trolls don’t say “My male reproductive organ is slightly larger than average”, they say “My male reproductive organ stretches from the dining room into living room”.

spacekadt

MODERATOR
Avatar: 16186 2011-11-01 00:02:40 -0400
81

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Camwhore

meh

bumuming (god that’s a bad thing to do around here) this means that individual peen lengths are shortened, please please please remember to go with an even percentage across the board.

If a peen that currently gives 1.0” is nerfed to .33” (67% reduction), mke sure that a different peen that gives .5” isn’t nerfed to .25” (only 50% redution). This *will* **** up the leaderboards and cause more uproar.

If you do decide to go through with it, I imagine there will still be bumhurt. You gave us all plenty of time to get used to our huge peen numbers. A step back, even if we keep the same position on the leaderboard, is still pretty undesirable to a lot of people. I can’t say I like the idea of seeing the cut, personally, as long as it’s done evenly, I’ll cope.

Bigandtasty

Avatar: 67579 Sat Jan 17 15:30:20 -0500 2009
12

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

spacekadt Posted:

If a peen that currently gives 1.0” is nerfed to .33” (67% reduction), mke sure that a different peen that gives .5” isn’t nerfed to .25” (only 50% redution). This *will* **** up the leaderboards and cause more uproar.

That’s exactly it – even if the proportions are equal, if everyone has a different combination of peens how will the leaderboard positions stay exactly the same?

Bandaney

Avatar: 70433 2014-06-07 22:10:47 -0400
24

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 60 Hacker

Ask me about how many male reproductive organs in my bum :zak:

Horrible idea. Why would we need “realistic” peens? It’s not like this is a realistic game or anything. Enormously long peens make it much more fun and funny.

Jalapeno Boo-
tyhole

MODERATOR
Avatar: 44 2012-11-06 12:31:55 -0500

[Crotch Zombie]

Level 44 Emo Kid

I had the first bum avatar.

MC Banhammer Posted:

This.

I mean, come on, it’s a site about TROLLING. Trolls don’t say “My male reproductive organ is slightly larger than average”, they say “My male reproductive organ stretches from the dining room into living room”.

Well, Camwhores say they don’t have a male reproductive organ at all. So I guess it averages out.

Amasius

Avatar: 21158 2015-06-13 23:07:57 -0400
100

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

OMFG! It is MY bum!

Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

However, the resolution — which was to simply let your E-Peen grow to monstrous lengths — is beginning to look a little silly.

And why is that a problem? Log in to see images!

I like my monstrous male reproductive organ even if my back aches and all the ladys faint or run away screaming.

But I guess this is related to the introduction of more milestone e-peens, so yeah, I wouldn’t oppose to a relative shrinkage.

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