Entry: Who the hell cares?

Well, things couldn’t have gone much worse than this. I completely forgot about the metal detectors. This doesn’t explain why I wasn’t picked up before I left England, but I’m bumuming that one was broken.

The police have confiscated five knifes, two guns, one taser, a handful of long needles, a molotov male reproductive organtail, a lighter, several vials of poison and a rubber duck.

I am unsure as to where the duck came from.

Through a bit of ingenious trickery, involving a paper clip and the remains of a dead mouse, I managed to escape from the facility where I was being held. Already, I am a wanted man, and I haven’t even found Ebony’s house.

Disregarding my utterly hopeless situation, I still need to replenish my now empty supply of weapons. Maybe that shifty looking bearded man can help me?