Many of you may be under the impression that Manphin is some sort of mutant. Perhaps the end result of a human-dolphin mating experiment, or perhaps some DNA alteration in the embryonic stage. But you’re wrong. In fact the Manphin is a creature you have heard of before. Only the person who was explaining it to you had the facts wrong. Let me explain.

You’re probably familiar with “The Missing Link”, a theorized caveman sort of being, the evolutionary step between ape and human. The only problem with that, is that this step never occurred. Scientists have been barking up the wrong tree. Sure, the ape is more physically representative of modern man, but that doesn’t mean it’s the obvious solution. Instead, why not look at a different mammal. One you may never have thought before.

That’s right, the dolphin. You might be laughing now, but hear me out. The science is there to back me up on this one, if you’ll only take a moment to understand. The missing link is the manphin.

DID YOU KNOW?

The human and cetacean brain are nearly identical? The neocortex of the cetacean is actually superior to that of the human.

The skeletal structure of cetaceans shows vestiges of toes and dewclaws, similar to our fingers and thumbs. These evolved into powerful flippers and tails, indicating that dolphins and whales once lived on the land.

THE EVOLUTIONARY STEP:

The key difference between Ape and Human is the lack of hair. Evolutionary theory is that man lost his hair while hunting in the deserts as a need to stay cool. Aquatic mammals however, are all hairless. The longer an animal has been in the water the more prone the hair loss. Dolphins only retain few “whiskers” to this day. The only aquatic mammals to retain fur are those who frequently exit the water, such as the otter or seal. The human’s hairiest location is the head, which could be explained that humans spent most of their time in the water, with only their head above water.

The lack of hair on the human body creates a more sensitive skin, another thing humans and cetaceans have in common – the pleasure of touch, and sensuality.

FURTHER PROOF:

During intercourse, the male ape mounts the female from behind. Humans most common mating position is face to face, much like the dolphin. Dolphins, like humans, mate for pleasure – a rare trait in animals.

The larger brain and extended neocortex is likely the cause of increased sexual interaction for non-reproductive purposes.

There is a layer of fat beneath the skin of all humans that is not present in Apes. The human infant’s extra fatty tissue gives them natural buoyancy. This fatty layer is found in dolphins and all ocean dwelling mammals.

Although most apes have a fear of water, humans are highly attracted to water and will swim for pleasure. Human infants can swim before they can walk. These traits are uncommon among the apes. Humans are also equipped with a diving reflex. This is not found among apes. When a human dips his face in water, the heart rate immediately slows down. This kind of reflex is found in dolphins, whales and all animals that dive.

Humans sweat as a response to heat, apes do not. Human shed tears, apes do not. The tear duct is present in all aquatic mammals as a response to the marine environment.

The birthing of an ape is much easier than that of a human. Apes infants are much smaller and fit easily from the mothers pelvis. In humans the head and shoulders are often larger than the alloted room, causing the infant to spiral out of the womb, the same is true for dolphins. Apes also birth alone without help, and the mother eats the placenta. Humans typically give birth with an attending person of experience, and the placenta is rarely eaten. Dolphins also give birth under the guidance of an experienced female, and the placenta is never eaten.

Ape brain development throughout evolution takes small calculated steps, however when it reaches the human there is a giant leap forward. The dolphin brain is much more comparable to that of the human, and in fact may be capable of more intelligence than our own. The human brain has become greatly different from the mammals to an extent shared only with the bottlenose dolphin.

Special kinds of lipids, known as the essential fatty acids, are the building blocks for brain tissue. These acids – the omega-6 fatty acids from leafy green and seed-bearing plants and the omega-3 fatty acids from marine phyto-plankton and algae – are used in the human brain in a balance of 1:1 and is shared only with the dolphins which have the same ratio. Biochemicaly, dolphins are still land mammals living in a marine environment.

IN SUMMARY:

The Manphin is the evolutionary step between the dolphin and the human. Not a hybrid of two different species.

It’s interesting that you say that, as through some browsing the internet the other day, I came across an article that you might find relevant. Quoted and sourced below.

Humans Genes Closer To Dolphins’ Than Any Land Animals

by Seema Kumar

Discovery Channel Online News

January 1998

For years, marine biologists have told us that dolphins share many traits with humans, including intelligence and friendliness. Now, a comparison of dolphin and human chromosomes shows that the genetic make-up of dolphins is amazingly similar to humans.

In fact, researchers at Texas A&M University have found that dolphins have more in common with us genetically than cows, horses or pigs.

“The extent of the genetic similarity came as a real surprise to us,” says David Busbee of Texas A&M University, who published his results in last week’s Cytogenetics and Cell Genetics.

This information will not only help researchers construct the genetic blueprint of dolphins, but also bolster conservation efforts.

Aided by the progress made in mapping the human genome, researchers will continue to identify individual genes on dolphin chromosomes. Busbee estimates it will save them 20 years of work, and the similarities and differences will reveal how long ago humans and dolphins branched off the evolutionary tree.

Researchers at Texas A&M University applied “paints,” or fluorescently labeled human chromosomes, to dolphin chromosomes, and found that 13 of 22 dolphin chromosomes were exactly the same as human chromosomes.

Of the remaining nine dolphin chromosomes, many were combinations or rearrangements of their human counterparts. Researchers also identified three dolphin genes that were similar to human genes.

Until now, researchers have never been able to do genetic studies of dolphins because they are a protected species, making it difficult to get tissues from them. However, Busbee was able to grow colonies of cells from fetal tissues when a female dolphin miscarried.

“Dolphins are marine mammals that swim in the ocean and it was astonishing to learn that we had more in common with the dolphin than with land mammals,” says Horst Hameister, professor of medical genetics at the University of Ulm in Germany.

In the past 15 years, the world’s dolphin populations have declined considerably, exacerbated by high levels of PCBs. Researchers speculate that PCBs impair the immune systems of dolphins, leaving them vulnerable to disease.

“If we can show that humans are similar to dolphins, and anything that endangers dolphins is an equal concern for humans, it may be easier to persuade governments to become serious about combating industrial pollution and keeping oceans clean,” says Busbee.

By Seema Kumar, Discovery Channel Online News

Yes it is a bit of a stretch, but I am after all living breathing proof of the matter. So…

Manphin Posted:

tl.dr

Biff Tannen Posted:

Manphin is an Animorph!

i want a yeerk in my head like all the scientologists, then i’d never be lonely

GOD HATES FAQS

Manphin is the bastard love child of two furry cosplayers!!

Didn’t read, and yet I’m still amazed! That is the power of Manphin! Log in to see images!

Manphin, reading your post led me to consider an alternate, but similar, hypothesis:

Perhaps humans evolved from apes, as presumed, but evolution did not end there. Rather, dolphins evolved from humans! This would explain how humans have so many ape-like and dolphin-like traits, and many intermediate traits (quantity of body hair, brain size and structure, etc.).

The implication of all this is that dolphins are more evolutionarily advanced than humans, and Manphin, as the missing between human and cetacean, is a kind of superior human.

Hey guys, you’re theories are wonderful, but you seem to be forgetting one key factor.

I AM THE MANPHIN. I KNOW MY ORIGINS.

FACT – I EVOLVED FROM DOLPHINS

FACT – I AM PRE-HUMAN

FACT – I AM THE MISSING LINK

FACT – TSB RULES

FACT – I AM LISTING FACTS

FACT – MYSPACE TOM IS MY BFF

FACT – I MIGHT START A STREET GANG CALLED THE DOLPHINS AND WE WILL ****ING CUT YOU

FACT – WE MIGHT ALSO HAVE LEATHER JACKETS WITH A ****IN DOLPHIN ON THE BACK EMBROIDERED BY CHINESE CHILD LABOR

FACT – WE MIGHT ATTACK YOU ON LAND OR IN THE OCEAN

FACT – YOU SHOULD BE SCARED

FACT – THIS IS QUITE A LOT OF FACTS

FACT – READ YOUR BIBLE – ALL OF THIS IS IN IT

FACT – YOUR ENCYCLOPEDIA TOO

FACT – IF IT’S NOT, YOUR GOVERNMENT IS LYING TO YOU BECAUSE THEY FEAR A DOLPHIN POWER COUP

FACT – IF THERE IS ONE, MY GANG WILL LEAD IT, AND IT WILL BE BLOODLESS UNLESS YOU RESIST

Log in to see images!