It’s round three, baby, and the votewhoring has begun!

Here’s why you should vote for me, Jalapeno Bootyhole:

1) It’s a known fact that I read every single Tubmail that goes through our system. I’ll know if you didn’t vote for me, and will subsequently ban you, permanently. That’s right: each and every ****ing one of you.

2) Although I clearly have a streak of Camwhore in me, I’m an Emo Kid all the way, and thus have a highly fragile ego. My capacity for BAWWWWWWWWfulness is well dogreat timesented, and my mood swings greatly affect my ability to work. In other words, if you want Episode 3 to happen (or at least, to not suck), you’ll want to make sure I’m one happy camper.

3) I’m not one to insult my beloved Forumwarriorz, so I won’t sling mud, telling you why you shouldn’t vote for any of my fine competitors. I’m simply better-looking than any of them, is all. Better in the sack, too, I bet.

4) I’ve given away tons of BPs over the last year or so for all kinds of contests, yet nobody’s ever sent me a single one. So winning this would mean a lot to me.

5) It would drive Fran nuts if I won.

6) I could easily have stickied this thread, updated our blog and Twitter feed to whore for even more votes, offered new and fantastical E-Peen™ to supporters (it’s not against the rules!), impersonated users you actually respect and have them insist that you vote for me, sabotaged other people’s votewhoring threads, deleted the Tubmails of those who dared not vote for me and committed a whole slew of other unscrupulous shenanigans. Instead, as a man of the people, I come to you with a simple General Role Playing thread — just like any other player.

(Except for the banning thing. I’m absolutely serious about that one.)

Thanks! Forumwarz appreciates your cooperation. Oh, and mods, requesting sticky, on pain of de-modding.

Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

6) I could easily have stickied this thread, updated our blog and Twitter feed to whore for even more votes, offered new and fantastical E-Peen™ to supporters (it’s not against the rules!), impersonated users you actually respect and have them insist that you vote for me, sabotaged other people’s votewhoring threads, deleted the Tubmails of those who dared not vote for me and committed a whole slew of other unscrupulous shenanigans.

I would be far more compelled to vote for you if you did these things.

Move this to the Whores forum and sticky it, imo. Log in to see images!

Sergeant Cid Posted:

Yes, ma’am.

Log in to see images!

Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

It’s round three, baby, and the votewhoring has begun!

Here’s why you should vote for me, Jalapeno Bootyhole:

2) Although I clearly have a streak of Camwhore in me, I’m an Emo Kid all the way, and thus have a highly fragile ego. My capacity for BAWWWWWWWWfulness is well dogreat timesented, and my mood swings greatly affect my ability to work. In other words, if you want Episode 3 to happen (or at least, to not suck), you’ll want to make sure I’m one happy camper.

But it’s going to suck if we DO vote for you, too. Just like the first two episodes.

Oh hell, I did it anyway.

7 Posted:

one down, six to go

You do love that number!

It obviously wasn’t me who stickied it, come on now.

Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

I’m simply better-looking than any of them, is all.

Log in to see images!

Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

5) It would drive Fran nuts if I won.

The most compelling argument you have, imo.

Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

6) I could easily have stickied this thread, updated our blog and Twitter feed to whore for even more votes, offered new and fantastical E-Peen™ to supporters (it’s not against the rules!), impersonated users you actually respect and have them insist that you vote for me, sabotaged other people’s votewhoring threads, deleted the Tubmails of those who dared not vote for me and committed a whole slew of other unscrupulous shenanigans. Instead, as a man of the people, I come to you with a simple General Role Playing thread — just like any other player.

I will vote for you if you do all the above. Log in to see images!

Jalapeno Bootyhole Posted:

3) I’m not one to insult my beloved Forumwarriorz, so I won’t sling mud, telling you why you shouldn’t vote for any of my fine competitors. I’m simply better-looking than any of them, is all. Better in the sack, too, I bet.

Also, WHEEEEEEE!!!

You claim to be better in the sack when you can’t even be bothered to wait for us to get in the sack with you according to your own submission? Plus you can’t even go a second round once we get there?

Johnny Mac at least got us some flowers, and Shii got all nice and prepped for us. Maybe if you were a little more willing to please your partner I would have voted for you.