Masked Avenger Posted:

I hope McCain wins, then dies, and leaves Palin up the bat. I’ll be fun to see the whole country burn to the ground.

I semi-hope that McCain dies during Obama’s term(s), if only so everyone can rub it in Palin’s permafrost[ed] face.

I Luff Black peepl! Log in to see images!

Buh? 3BP? Where? I need to start saving now for EP3.

I voted for the Black Mage, yay!

I’m from the motherland of Denmark and i shall vote for Obamalama since i’m not an American.Log in to see images!

O HAI

Ralph Nader here. Like McCain, I have skin as white as the freshly driven snow. But, like Obama, I’m also a radical Arab Muslim terrorist. Best of both worlds! Plus you get the “coolness factor” of voting for a third-party spoiler candidate.

I’d rather not comment on the state of my male reproductive organ, but let’s just say, as a consumer rights activist, I always deliver the goods. Log in to see images!

Also I have a ridiculously huge male reproductive organ. Uncut.

Since I’m a write-in candidate with a pretty limited campaign budget, I can’t offer you a damn thing if you vote for me. But I’ll tell you what: If Ralph Nader pulls an upset and wins the whole IRL election, you all get 100 ****ing BP.

****ing hilarious. A++, would read again.

Here’s my analysis:

”Every active user on Forumwarz will receive a bonus of 4 Forum Visits.” vs. ”Every active account will receive a special and unique item.”

Well, sure, 4 Forum Visits would be nice, but on the other hand, this unique item probably is a one-time-only deal. Besides, do you really want to play an extra 4 Forum Visits one day? Skip a day playing, it’ll acgreat timesulate your unused visits anyway. But if McCain loses, there will probably not be a chance to get this unique item again. Advantage: McCain.

”Since I am a socialist, I will tax the richest active Forumwarz accounts by 25% and spread it amongst the poorest active accounts.” vs. ”Since I am a capitalist, I will tax the poorest active accounts by 25% and spread it amongst the wealthy active accounts.”

This is a toughie, if only because of how vague it is. I mean, I personally have been saving up for my third set of Beast0r cables (which mysteriously doubled in price overnight), and all I’ve done today is do jobs from the job board to try to make enough money to get it (and I’m still short). I’d hate to be taxed 25% and basically lose all the money I made today. The thing is, they didn’t explain how they’re defining “richest” and “poorest”. For all we know, “richest” could mean “everyone except the poorest two”, which means someone who just started suddenly comes into a suspiciously large amount of Flezz. On the other hand, the opposite could also happen on the other side, and everyone’s money gets funneled into the account of a level 35 who doesn’t even use his Flezz anymore. I wouldn’t even know which bracket I’d fall into anyway. Advantage: Tie until they explain it better.

”Jobs will give double the points for the 24 hours following my win.” vs. ”I will randomly scatter 100BP over the accounts of those who voted for me.”

...Honestly, do job points really do anything outside of contributing to the “Chai” series of E-Peen? BP all the way. Advantage: McCain.

Bonus 1: The US Election

”I will give out free access to Episode 2 to 10 random accounts who voted for me.” vs. ”Evil Trout will record a karaoke version of the song of your choosing and will post it on Flamebate to mock endlessly.”

Obviously we have much less influence over the US election than we do the ForumWarz election, but let’s bumume the best of both worlds here. For the vets, ET recording a karaoke song would definitely be a plus (I’ve seen how they mock him in Flamebate and IDC. Oh how he is mocked) especially since they all already basically have Ep2. On the other hand, it is free Ep2 to 10 people, which is… REALLY good. (Number crunching time: If Obama does win the US Election, here he’s spreading 70 BP to 10 people, whereas McCain will spread 100 BP to 100 people regardless of his position in the US election. I thought Obama was supposed to be the one all about “spreading the wealth”?) Advantage: Obama

Bonus 2: Friends

”I will give a new E-Peen™ to those who voted for me.” vs. ”Custom titles changes will be free for a special pre-announced 30 minute timeframe.”

Custom titles cost BP, so again McCain is spreading the RL wealth around. E-Peen is also good though, even though it more or less has the same effect as a title change. Advantage: Tie.

Final scores (for all you TL;DR people):

McCain 2, Obama 1, Tie 2.

Also note that McCain’s two points are surefire things if he wins the ForumWarz Election, whereas Obama’s is only if he ALSO wins the big election (which is one of the closest ones in years, so there’s no guarantees)!

So vote McCain. He’ll spread the BP.

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Obama’s FW ideas speak to me. McCain’s FW ideas speak to the people I hate. Voted.