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post jokes. the joke i like the most wins. contest ends 12 EST tonight |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 9:26AM | View BirdofPrey's Profile | # | ||||||
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Two blondes walk into a bar. You’d think one would be smart enough to duck. |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 9:33AM | View Damion's Profile | # | ||||||
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JioCaged Posted:
blluuuughhghhhhhhh |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 9:37AM | View BirdofPrey's Profile | # | ||||||
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what’s the capital of iceland
iceland doesn’t have any capital |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 9:54AM | View Agent_Orange's Profile | # | ||||||
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JioCaged Posted:
Hahahahaha. That is honestly one of my faves. Johnny Mac edited this message on 10/19/2008 10:08AM |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 10:07AM | View Johnny Mac's Profile | # | ||||||
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What’s blue and hangs in my front yard?
My fine upstanding member of society, I can paint him whatever color I want. What’s yellow and black and makes you laugh? A bus full of fine upstanding member of societys going over a cliff. What do you call a black man in the male reproductive organpit of an airplane? A pilot. Don’t know why these were the only jokes I could think of D: |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 10:13AM | View Johnny Mac's Profile | # | ||||||
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so far agent_orange is winning and his joke sucks |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 10:42AM | View BirdofPrey's Profile | # | ||||||
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Frank Sinatra saved my life once.
I was in Las Vegas and four guys were kicking the **** out of me in a parking lot.
About two minutes into this Frank says, “Okay, boys. That’s enough.”
I probably should have phrased my question (“Are you gonna give me an autograph, bumhole?” ) differently. PhineasPoe edited this message on 10/19/2008 10:52AM |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 10:52AM | View PhineasPoe's Profile | # | ||||||
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Hmmmm stole this from UD a while ago.(with minor grammar fixes)
Stupid blonde: Mom, my sisters having her monthly period. Mom: How do you know that? Stupid blonde: Because dad’s male reproductive organ tastes blood. |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 10:54AM | View GREGORY MUTHERFU...'s Profile | # | ||||||
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A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.
“What for?!?!?” he snapped at the judge.
His Honour, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: “Twenty dollars contempt of court! That’s why!”
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented: “That’s all right. You don’t have to pay now.”
The young man replied, “I know. But I’m just seeing if I have enough for two more words.” |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:12AM | View King Krimson's Profile | # | ||||||
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Why do they put a suicide watch on certain death row prisoners in America? Why would you care if a man they are planning to kill, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun? I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently just to **** him off. |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:14AM | View King Krimson's Profile | # | ||||||
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A Murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. “Have you any last requests?” asked the Chaplain.
“Yes,” replied the condemned man. “I’m scared, will you hold my hand?” |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:14AM | View King Krimson's Profile | # | ||||||
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Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathering them around him, he taught them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are the meek.
Blessed are they that mourn.
Blessed are the merciful.
Blessed are they that thirst for justice.
Blessed are you when you are persecuted.
Blessed are you when you suffer.
Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is great in Heaven.”
Then Simon Peter said, “Are we supposed to know this?”
And Andrew said, “Do we have to write this down?”
And James said, “Will we have a test on this?”
And Philip said, “Does this count?”
And Bartholomew said, “Do we have to hand this in?”
And John said, “The other disciples didn’t have to do this!”
And Matthew said, “Can I go to the toilet?”
And Judas said, “What does this have to do with real life?”
Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus’ Lesson Plan and enquired of Jesus,
“Where is your anticipatory set and where are your objectives in the cognitive domain?”
And Jesus wept. |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:15AM | View King Krimson's Profile | # | ||||||
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Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. “OK,” the judge said, “Tell the court why you want a divorce.”
“Well, your Honour,” Dan started, “Every once in a while my sister in law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife are so identical looking, every once in a while I’d end up making love to her by mistake.”
“Surely there must be some difference between the two women.” the judge said.
“You’d better believe there is a difference, your honor. That’s why I want the divorce.” he replied. |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:15AM | View King Krimson's Profile | # | ||||||
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What’s green and fuzzy, has four legs, and if it fell out of a tree on you would kill you instantly?
A snooker table.
What’s got two legs and bleeds?
Half a dog. |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:17AM | View Adeptus's Profile | # | ||||||
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The best joke I saw on Forumwarz was this:
iRAWR Or was that the worst joke? I can’t really be sure. |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:23AM | View King Krimson's Profile | # | ||||||
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Why won’t the cakemale reproductive organ **** the bumcake anymore?
lololololololol Log in to see images! |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:31AM | View AUNTIE-LUNG's Profile | # | ||||||
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BirdofPrey Posted:
are you ****ting me |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:33AM | View Agent_Orange's Profile | # | ||||||
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Why do lesbian go to the Gander Mountain store? Because they don’t like male reproductive organs Log in to see images! |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:39AM | View quangntenemy's Profile | # | ||||||
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So there was a wino pbumed out in Central Park, along comes a gay guy and decides he wants to **** him in the bum. So he did, and threw 20 dollars at the winos feet as he zipped his pants back up. The wino wakes up and sees the 20 dollar bill and immediately runs to the liquor store and asks the clerk for the cheapest **** they had. So he gets his liquor and gets drunk and pbumes out again. The same gay dude comes back and again ****s him in the bum. He throws the 20 down at his feet and goes on his way. The wino wakes up and goes back to the package store. The clerk asks: “The cheap **** again?” The wino replies: “HELL NO, THAT CHEAP **** MAKES MY bumHOLE HURT.” |
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Posted On: 10/19/2008 11:50AM | View Obvious Troll's Profile | # | ||||||