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The Unknown Comic's Flamebate Posts
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bumCANCERHello, I’m The Unknown Comic and I’m here to talk to you about bum cancer.
bum cancer? I bet that’s a pretty ****TY condition!
I looked askancedly at bum cancer!
I visited a little boy in the hospital who had bum cancer. He told me his uncle had taken a biopsy…with his male reproductive organ! (view post) |
01/31/2009 |
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The Unknown Comic LIVE at the Apollo Theater in HarlemI got my reparations check in the mail a couple months ago. The government did me a real solid, they made it out to PCP!
I was doing a drive-by and I kill a 7 year old kid accidentally. It was his fault though, he shouldn’t have been standing so close to the 6 year old!
Kool cigarettes! Am I right? Am I right? Menthol in general, huh?
White people file their taxes on time, but BLACK PEOPLE have trouble filing their taxes because poor inner-city education makes the complex paperwork difficult!
The CIA tried to sterilize me the other day. I was outraged. I was like, “Hey, fine upstanding member of society, why couldn’t you do this before I racked up $20,000 monthly is child support payments!”
Boy do I love white women! And subverting the master race!
I hate having to choose between a woman with big fat titties and a woman with a big fat bum. That’s why I sew my perfect woman together in an abandoned subway tunnel!
You know black people were killed in the Holocaust too, not just jews and homos. Soon we’ll be getting our own Holocaust museum. It’ll be sponsored by Boost mobile! (view post) |
01/30/2009 |
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The Unknown Comic LIVE at the Apollo Theater in HarlemHey, how’s it going my fine upstanding member of societys? I see we only have eyes and teeth in attendance tonight! I’d say turn up the lights so I can see you, but you mother ****ers are so black light can’t escape your surfaces!
So have you ever noticed that white people play golf like this: “Harold, fetch me by 5 iron, I do believe I can make the green from here.”
But black people play golf like this:
My wife’s bum is so big!
My mother came to visit me last weekend and she was all like, “When you gonna get a real job? And I was all like, “Shut the **** up, woman, you know how much racial discrimination black men still face in this country? Post-racism my bum! Also, I’m going to jail soon!”
You see, black people dance like this: Mmm th, mmm th, mmm th, yeah yeah that’s right come on.
But white people dance by turning the jews against the blacks!
I make fun of white people, but white people gave us the three greatest things in the world: Democracy, AIDS, and crack.
You don’t know how much I love smoking crack then going to vote all while having a T-cell count lower than the infant survival rates in mother Africa!
WU-TANG CLAN AINT NOTHING TO **** WITH! WU-TANG CLAN AINT NOTHING TO **** WITH! WU-TANG CLAN AINT NOTHING TO **** WITH! (view post) |
01/30/2009 |
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permajail evil troutJail’s too good for him. We need that other thing, that’s worse than prison.
Oh what, I forgot…EVIL TROUT ALL READY LIVES IN CANADA! (view post) |
01/30/2009 |
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our office coffee machine is brokenHow is coffee different from the Vietnam War?The Vietnam War didn’t leave a bad taste in my mouth! (view post) |
01/24/2009 |
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All the threads ****in suckHow is CelerySteve like syphilis?You can’t scream at your male reproductive organ and get either to leave (view post) |
01/24/2009 |
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Note Something Interesting About the person above.can count to 7 (view post) |
01/23/2009 |
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MCBanhammer, you are my hero! *hugz*It’s hard to imagine a ****tier poster than Gothzilla.It’s even harder for HIM to imagine it! Because he’s so ****ing very special. (view post) |
01/23/2009 |
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FORGET ABOUT BOWIESay what you people will, but Ziggy Stardust is an alligator (view post) |
01/22/2009 |
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EVIL TROUT CAN YOU EXPLAIN ME WHATS THE USE OF THE FORUMWARZ JUKEBOX?Coldplay is such a ****ty band Phil Collins can’t even listen to them! (view post) |
01/22/2009 |
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Guys, my dragon died.Ricket’s dragon died?
THANK GOD HE HAS 100 ALTS TO HELP HIM THROUGH THESE GLOOMY DAYS
No, but seriously, Ricket you have my condolences. It’s hard to lose a loved one.
I wouldn’t know, I’m incapable of loving anybody!
I’m dead inside.
BUT NOT HALF AS DEAD AS RICKET’S STUPID ****ING DRAGON, RIGHT? (view post) |
01/21/2009 |
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Contest for 6BP - important eventLog in to see images!
Mr. Burt Reynolds (view post) |
01/21/2009 |
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FORUMWARZ IS THE CANCER KILLING FORUMWARZDr J Dorian Posted:
Your show would be better if you didn’t cry so much.
I gave my second wife that advice on our wedding night, she didn’t take it and look where she ended up.
With half my money (view post) |
01/21/2009 |
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FORUMWARZ IS THE CANCER KILLING FORUMWARZThe tests are positive! Forumwarz is a negative experience! (view post) |
01/21/2009 |
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In memory of BlaafrostI know what’ll liven up this threadLog in to see images! (view post) |
01/20/2009 |
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Forumwarz Drunk Off: Thoughts?Alcohol is not cool, guys, seriously. I know you see people get drunk on TV and in movies and they make it seem ””“sexy””” and ””“boss.””” But it’s not, it ruins families and kills people. (view post) |
01/20/2009 |
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America Has a fine upstanding member of society PresidentBarack Obama is so black Thomas Jefferson ****ed him!
Barack Obama is so white he knows all the words to Thunder Road!
Barack Obama is so asian he pronounces words differently than us!
Barack Obama is so Mexican he should be called Barack Oburro!
Barack Obama is so Canadian he spell his name B, eh, r, eh, c, k O, b, eh, m, eh!
Barack Obama is so British he colonized India and subjugated the Irish!
Barack Obama is so Eskimo that he smells like fish and ****s polar bears!
Barack Obama is so Irish he jerks off to pictures of JFK!
Barack Obama is so German his nickname is The Black Forest!
Barack Obama is so French his plans for change involve a guillotine!
Barack Obama is so Jewish he’s planning on starting a production company out of the white house!
Barack Obama is such a gypsy he has lice!
Barack Obama is such a Spaniard he does not believe in God!
Barack Obama is so Italian he broke his daughters legs!
Barack Obama is so southern he lynched himself!
Barack Obama knows he might be a redneck when his gun rack has a gun rack!
Gun racks might know they’re a redneck when they register as dixiecrats!
Barry Osmond might be a dixiecrat if he votes in favor of segregation!
Segregation is so Jamaican he calls everyone mon!
Walter Mondale is so black he died of hypertension!
Barack Obama is so hyper tensed about the presidency he has to cool off with Mondo!
Log in to see images! (view post) |
01/20/2009 |
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Obviously, it's a poem (pardon my prescription withdrawal)-No central, concerte imagery
-No meter, this is the biggest problem with most young people’s poetry. Someone once said writing poetry without meter is like playing tennis without a net and it’s true.
-Rhyming couplets
-No subtlety
-Some lines are extremely clunky: “And somebody’s Nikon may be exchanged for an unregistered gun” for example
Just some general tips for any other poetry you might try
/constructive criticism
BRAINPAN SONATA’S POEM IS LIKE CLAY AIKEN
SHORT, GAY, AND NO LONGER RELEVANT! (view post) |
01/20/2009 |
Board of Directors CheatedHappy birthday Ricket! (view post) |
01/19/2009 | |
Re-re's are Like School on SundayWhatever, I’m going to go kill my brain with grain alcohol.
You know, folks, if I had only one wish, I would wish for a magic bird. When this bird sang it would cause the listener to vomit and bleed from their genitals. I would send this bird all over the world.
So everyone can feel how we feel when Raepdog tries to do anything. (view post) |
01/19/2009 | |