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-No central, concerte imagery
-No meter, this is the biggest problem with most young people’s poetry. Someone once said writing poetry without meter is like playing tennis without a net and it’s true.
-Rhyming couplets
-No subtlety
-Some lines are extremely clunky: “And somebody’s Nikon may be exchanged for an unregistered gun” for example
Just some general tips for any other poetry you might try
/constructive criticism
BRAINPAN SONATA’S POEM IS LIKE CLAY AIKEN
SHORT, GAY, AND NO LONGER RELEVANT! Gene Gene the Dancing Machines Legs 1932-2001
There are no gongs in Heaven, friend.
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| Posted On: 01/20/2009 4:34PM |
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