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Fix It Contest for 375 BP :: WISHFUL THINKING :: Make a wish and win


Avatar: 156485 2010-01-24 16:36:14 -0500

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

Selfish fine upstanding member of society

Inconnu Posted:

You’re not the first one already to wish for ultimate knowledge. Do you think you could really deal with such amount of information, if it would flow straight into your head over seconds?

Nah, it’s cool. He’d also know how to cope.

So long as his mind isn’t crushed before that specific bit of info surfaces.


Avatar: 23167 2010-01-24 16:31:18 -0500

[Phantasmagoric Spl-

Level 35 Emo Kid

I haven't seen a bad idea that I didn't like.

Dunatis Posted:

#1. My biggest wish would be for the ability to shapeshift and to know how to do it properly without ****ing myself up. And I don’t mean some kind of woman's genitals shapeshifting like Mystique where it’s all superficial, I’m talking right down to the quark level (or string depending on your Physics theories) so that I could become anything.

At this point I have immortality, pretty much all the power I could desire and the ability to create life. I would be able to shapeshift a siamese twin. For ****s and giggles let’s say this twin is… Mr Ed, and he does actually talk and have a proper sentient mind to go with it. (I’m a materialist so a soul/all intellect is in the brain IMHO) Then I could ride him around and hit on chicks with him. Until I remembered I could clone Angelina Jolie and have sex with that before wondering if that was incest or masturbation…

I could clone myself in case of accidental death or just to play multiplayer games with. All this wish needs to make it complete are 2 things…

#2. An infinite source of energy and material with which to grow. Works best if it appears out of thin air because I can’t just grow 50ft tall without the atoms to do so.

#3. Knowledge of everything. And I mean EVERYTHING!!! With this I could make sure I don’t **** up anything in the long term, such as accidentally destroying my consciousness and preventing my own accidental death. But this would get boring fast… Luckily I know how to forget everything as well, but keep the knowledge of how to get it all back when I want to. Because of course I would know how to do all that, I would know everything after all.

Once I have these 3 things I could easily work on making life simply awesome for everybody, especially the knowing everything part.

Cold fusion anyone?


I was JUST ABOUT to post that I would wish to be a shapeshifter, and simultaneously call out everyone for just saying “I wish I could shapeshift” without wishing also for the ability to know how to control it and solve the problem of where the additional mbum is coming from.

But yeah, shapeshifter in the way that Dunatis described would be about my ultimate wish. I could be a wolf whenever I wanted! x3

Hmm. I also wish I had the entire Bible memorized, as well as the Quer’an and the Mormon Bible, the Apocrypha and the KRSHNA, and any other relevant, important religious texts. Being able to see all sides of the issue of religious validity would help eliminate bias.

And lastly, for my very, very cliche wish, I wish humanity didn’t fear what they didn’t understand.


Avatar: 156485 2010-01-24 16:36:14 -0500

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

Selfish fine upstanding member of society

I thought of another 3 wishes. I want

1. An irresistible force

2. An immovable object

3. A square circle

Wheee, paradoxical wishes Log in to see images!

[E: For 3-per-person related reasons, ignore this one too]

man-man edited this message on 11/06/2009 4:34PM


Avatar: 190122 2011-07-31 00:25:04 -0400

Level 62 Troll

Mbumive fabulous person Mbumive fabulous person Mbumive fabulous person

i wish that the continents would come back together to form pangea, so those damn americans and europeans would stop arguing

i wish macs and pcs and linuxs would combine to form some sort of super computer, so no more bull**** about macs vs pc vs linux

i wish all religions combined to follow one true religion (Buddhism+Deism), no more religious arguments

i sorta saved humanity from itself


Avatar: 192622 2009-09-24 16:39:01 -0400


Level 69 Re-Re

$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$

1. I wish that someone would fix itembuildr, because it’s clear the world would end before ET ever gets around to it.

2. Someone to get a revelation on how to build a faster-than-light engine using energy sources in existence now, or at least a change in perception toward space colonization by average Joes throughout the world so there would be more universal support toward colonizing space. Literally, a huge number of today’s problems including jobs, resources and cost would be solved if humans could simply set up mining facilities in our own solar system in the asteroid belt. Faster than light travel would require some kind of miracle idea, but colonizing our own solar system isn’t nearly as far-fetched. Nuclear-powered engines could get us toward Pluto in a year, being able to float around Mars/Jupiter and the moon shouldn’t be that hard either.

3. The Baby Boomers will stagger their retirement rather than all retire at once at age 66. I love using the Boomers as scapegoats for the world’s problems, but if they do this and not bankrupt the USFG things might not be so intolerable for the next couple generations.


Avatar: Code (Blue)

Level 14 Hacker

“Packet Sniffer ”

If I met this omnipotent “God” figure, I would wish for unlimited wishes. I would then wish for all sorts of other cool ****, like, never ending cigarettes, liquor and drugs, if I so choose. I would also wish to never get sick, to always stay healthy, bumuming that this “God” is much like Mephisto in Ghost Rider, who turns everything around. I guess that is pretty much it. oh, unlimited wealth too. Money, money, money. Makes the world go ‘round


Avatar: Keyboard Keys

Level 9 Hacker

“Script Kiddie”

I wish that dad would stop hitting mom..

I also wish not for imortality, but to be comfortable throughout my life(ie numbness in a way).Log in to see images!

Also I wish(ed) for yankee’s to win world series. I guess I got that one.Log in to see images!


Avatar: Teen Girl

Level 33 Camwhore


Let’s see:

My personal wish would be to become a shape-shifter so I could go about making celebrity sex tapes and making a huge wad of cash off of the lonely internet types. Log in to see images!

My wish for the world is for us to have endless resources without any harmful side effects, thereby ending all need for war. Log in to see images!

Finally, I would also wish for 6BP so I could finally get Season 2! Log in to see images!


Avatar: 58905 Mon Oct 27 17:12:24 -0400 2008

Level 29 Camwhore

“Playmate of the Month”

Catgirl_Makie Posted:

Finally, I would also wish for 6BP so I could finally get Season 2! Log in to see images!

Practical solution: since you already seem to be a whore, offer to suck someone off for ten dollars. Then you could buy the episode for yourself. Alternatively, pick someone up at a club, get them really drunk, go back to their place and steal the contents of their wallet and slip out in the morning. With any luck they won’t remember your face clearly enough to implicate you. You could also panhandle, mooch, or get a job.


Avatar: 156485 2010-01-24 16:36:14 -0500

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

Selfish fine upstanding member of society

Huh… 3 per person only, and by my count I already thought of 5.

Also I already thought of more. So screw those other ones Log in to see images!

Wish 1: The existence of a limitless, thermodynamics-violating, non-polluting, infinitely scalable power source. That power to be generated by a process that somehow crucially depends on me regularly getting laid. Thus allowing me to hold the world ransom to my sex life, and potentially any other demands I might have Log in to see images!

(Other demands may include, but are not limited to, any part of the multi-billionaire lifestyle, Valve hurrying the **** up with HL2:Ep3, and Firefly being brought back in glorious new form)

Wish 2: Immortality (including eternal youth – eternal ageing would suck). Given wish 1, it’d just be selfish of me to do something crazy like dying. Actually extend that to anyone else who wants it too – no reason to keep it to myself and it’d prevent the whole “watching your loved ones grow old and die” downside to immortality.

Might cause problems with overpopulation, but given all that limitless energy from Wish 1 we could find an answer – colonise the solar system for more space, some kind of impractical mega-structure for accommodation, I don’t even know what…

Wish 3: I think I gotta go back to my original first wish – to have the same power as whoever’s granting these wishes. Then I’m set for anything else I need.

Ok, cool, time spent thinking about this totally wasn’t a waste…

man-man edited this message on 11/06/2009 4:50PM


Avatar: Server Hacker

[Rap dog and the mu-
lti colored bean f-

Level 69 Hacker

very special beyond belief

1. I wish all the emo fuk-tards like Dysnomia and Master_Troll would get it over with and become anhero’s.

2.I wish my pet cow would stop breaking through the screen and crapping on the floor.

3.I wish I could find something better to do than post on this ****ing forum.


Avatar: Abstract Web

Level 22 Hacker


I wish that I win something

I wish that Kim Dong Ill gets BanHammad!

I wish that I get another one-time only VIP Pbum


Avatar: 65028 2009-09-29 14:53:15 -0400

Level 40 Troll


- I wish Duke Nukem Forever would be launched.

– I wish I had all the alcohol in the world so I can drink myself into a retard.

– I wish the Internet didn’t have 4chan, shock sites and Rick Astley.


Avatar: Boobs

Level 22 Camwhore

“The Lady is a Tramp”

I’d wish for…

HASTUR! Log in to see images!


Avatar: 57623 2010-05-29 20:03:09 -0400


Level 69 Troll

Surfing the Tubes

I wish that I didn’t require any particular thing to function (food, sleep, air, etc) but could still do them whenever I wanted to.


Avatar: 61989 2011-12-28 11:21:37 -0500

[Temple of the Anth-
ropomorphic Majesty

Level 35 Troll

Right from the moment when I saw Saw, I laughed.

I wish Nikola Tesla had been funded and able to finish his research (and we’d all have free electricity a probably a bunch of other cool stuff because he was genius).


Avatar: 22838 2009-11-07 23:15:47 -0500

Level 11 Troll

Pedophile Jesus

I wish Zalgo would break the wall and cleanse the world.Log in to see images!


Avatar: 110341 2009-11-21 13:47:25 -0500

Level 34 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

1. a perfect solution to the “Who polices the police? (quis custodiet ipsos custodes)” problem.

2. micro nuclear energy plants to be used as batteries/fuel cells.

and something for me

3. control over all aspects of time. (time travel, framerate manipulation, aging, i.e.)


Avatar: 12797 2015-07-20 16:59:13 -0400

[Good Omens]

Level 69 Camwhore

I really do talk ****!

I wish to always be interested.


Avatar: Ron Paul

Level 12 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

Inconnu Posted:

Up to 3 wishes per alt (I do realize sometimes it’s hard to fit into one try). One wish is ok too.

So if I am reading this right, we can enter with alts?




Log in to see images!

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