MC Banhammer Posted:

****ing WIN!!!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi am a horny 20 years old m;) searching for women;) especially milfs;)
You: I'm a hot 45 year old woman looking for younger men
You: How well-hung are you?
Stranger: what do u mean??
You: How long is your male reproductive organ?
Stranger: 22cm babe
You: How many inches is that? I'm American and not good with math :(
You: Math is hard.
You: Like you, I hope! ;)
Stranger: 9.5
You: Ooooooh.
You: Nice
You: Mind if I touch it?
Stranger: emmm no feel free to do anything miss
Stranger: ;p
You: Mmmm.....
You: I pull down your pants and slowly run my hands over your hardening member.
You: It looks so good, I kneel down and begin to lick it.
You: I take it deeply into my mouth while playing with your balls.
You: After a bit of this, I stand up, turn around, pull my skirt up and my panties down, and bend over
You: I spread my bum and invite you it.
You: in
Stranger: mmmm do u have a picture?
You: hang on let me get one
Stranger: ok
You: http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/5/5d/Hello.jpg
You: What do you think?
You: Sorry my operation isn't complete yet. Only one more step until I'm completely transgendered.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

AWESOME JOB MCB!!! *highfive*

Connecting to server…

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: hi

Stranger: female?

You: no.

Stranger: male?

You: no

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Log in to see images!

Connecting to server…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: 16/f/uk…ur asl plz?

Stranger: 18 m germany

You: hi Log in to see images!

Stranger: hi

Stranger: hey listen

Stranger: do u wanna sex chat?

You: hmmmm

You: ok

Stranger: ok

Stranger: are u hot?

You: so…what do you wanna do?

You: oh

You: yeah Log in to see images!

Stranger: figure?

You: do you want a pic?

Stranger: if oyu may

Stranger: i’d love it

You: http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/8324/melastnight.jpg

Stranger: wow

Stranger: u r so cute

You: Log in to see images!

Stranger: what do u wanna do?

You: mmm…i dunno…what do you want?

Stranger: blowjob?

You: hmm, ok

You: i open my mouth, rimmed with sharp little teeth

Stranger: noo

Stranger: unzip my pants first

You: ok Log in to see images!

You: i retract my claws in order to operate the zipper

Stranger: damn

You: and then unzip it, clumsily

Stranger: i’m scared

You: of little meee?

You: Log in to see images!

Stranger: of ur claws

You: aw dont worry i wont hurt you

You: yet

Stranger: wooh

Stranger: so?

Stranger: u like my thing?

You: yes i do

You: it is meaty

You: i want to eat it

Stranger: go on

Stranger: cutie

You: i open my mouth wider, and the hell that is cthulu is unleashed

You: i bite your male reproductive organ right off

Stranger: fk

You: damn…blood everywhere

Stranger: fk

You: i insert my long long tongue into your gaping wound

You: slowly driving it though your chest cavity

You: as you gurgle and scream

Stranger: i wanna lick your bumhole

You: beware…it is a place of horrors, dark and deep

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: contentment = (kitten + heater+blanket + tea + marijuana) * internet

Stranger: ok.

You: s’true

Stranger: i like to cheerlead.

You: i like to **** cheerleaders up the bum

Stranger: welll thats good?

You: yep

You: unless they’re fat

Stranger: no, i only weight 90.

You: o rly?

Stranger: yes.

You: you sound like a fat chick

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

­

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You: Hi, friend!

Stranger: Hello!

You: I just choked briefly on a bit of peanut!

Stranger: Oh no!

You: It’s okay, I’m okay now. Also, I am not allergic to peanuts.

Stranger: I’m laying in bed with sore legs. Log in to see images!

You: That is a disaster! Why is it that your legs are sore?

You: Did they choke on bits of peanuts?

Stranger: I went for a run, didn’t wear the right shoes, now everything hurts.

You: Perhaps you should look into those new Vibram shoes. They resemble rubberized Bigfoot feet. *Wearable* bigfoot feet.

Stranger: No way!

Stranger: I’ll stick with my New Balances.

You: New Balance are good shoes. They have the ability to balance.

Stranger: Where are you from?

You: I’m from Prussia. Where are you from?

Stranger: California

You: Oh, I know that state! That’s where the Raisins come from! I love their music.

Stranger: Oh joy!

Stranger: Those Vibram things are heinous

Stranger: Also, they’re not very feminine at all.

You: You could paint them festively pink! Like your…

You: ... favorite color.

Stranger: I feel like that would make them worse.

You: They can’t get much worse, visually.

You: ... maybe some add-on culottes…

Stranger: Dear god, they’re worse than Crocs.

You: That’s an achievement, you understand!

Stranger: This is true.

Stranger: You know, we have an entire store here devoted to Crocs.

You: That’s a testament to Capitalism if ever I heard one.

You: I should open an order-by-phone Crocs store called Dial-A-Croc. I’d be so clever.

You: ... it’s a pun on “Crocodile.”

You: ... fabulous person.

Connecting to server…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: Quickly, WHAT IS THE DATE?

You: 31st

You: D:

Stranger: What month and what year?

You: SORRY

You: JULY 2009

You: GOOD LUCK.

Stranger: Oh, thank God….

Stranger: WAIT.

You: THERE’S STILL TIME!

You: THEY SENT YOU TOO?

Stranger: Has Barack Obama been bumbuminated by Jason Tyler Williams?

You: I hope not, I pray we have arrived in time

Stranger: Good luck…

You: MIKURU BEAAAAAAAAAAM!

Stranger: word.

You have disconnected.

Connecting to server…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: hi

You: Hi! My name is Satan!

Stranger: hello satan

Stranger: how can i help you today

You: Tell me, do you believe in god?

Stranger: nope

You: good

Stranger: i’m an atheist

You: did you know one of the greatest moments in the history of man is the holocaust?

Stranger: well, that certianly an arguable point

Stranger: i’d say the moon landing, or prehaps decoding the human genome

You: and everyone should try to be like osama bin ladden

Stranger: thats also an arguable point

Stranger: i think there are better role models

You: evil is a beautiful thing

Stranger: there is no evil without the good, you need the contrast

You: i know that but good is for ****ing fabulous persons

Stranger: how very hardcore of you sir.

You: many of my awesome followers have already burned down over 3,000 churches and temples

Stranger: there is a peaceful way of getting rid of superstitons

You: i also am the person sole responsible for the creation of the internet

Stranger: through reason and ratioanlity

Stranger: you sir, are not al gore. you are nothing but a troll

You: speaking of the internet, have you ever been to Forumwarz.com?

You: Global warming already happened

You: and no i am much more than a troll, i am the devil

Stranger: as i do not believe in god, such i do not believe in the devil

Stranger: you seem angry

Stranger: i am all ears for your problems young one

You: not angry at all

You: i just enjoy the suffering of others

Stranger: that is because it is you, who suffer the most

Stranger: inside

You: it’s called schadenfruede

Stranger: it hurts, i know

You: it’s german for happiness at the misfortune of others

You: what are you, a god damn therapist?

Stranger: no not really

Stranger: simply another human

You: i don’t feel pain, i only create it

Stranger: like a schoolyard bully, you beat up and put down others. only to mask your own pain

Stranger: its okay

Stranger: really,

You: what makes i have pain

You: are you really one of those fabulous persons who thinks violence is another way of hiding torment and inside pain?

Stranger: yes, was your father an alcoholic? you mother, prehaps she was a whore?

You: because if you are

You: you are WRONG

Stranger: you and me, we are not so different my friend

You: we are very different

Stranger: here is my shoulder, for you to cry on

Stranger: weeps and let the emotions run

You: you sound like a ****ing preacher

Stranger: you seem to have anger toward authority figures, prehaps your mother was a whore

You: you don’t know a thing about the cruelness of humanity do you?

Stranger: oh yes i do

You: do you know how cold people are

Stranger: i have seen it

Stranger: yes i know

You: i embrace it

Stranger: i have felt it

You: like when i killed a man trying to enjoy me

Stranger: i have seen the horrors that lovers can do to each other, i have seen the horrors of war. the coldness of the human spirit.

Stranger: yet i choose not to be what plagues humanity

Stranger: i choose to be good

Stranger: or what you call “a ****ing fabulous person”

You: man’s inhumanity to man is what the meaning of life is

Stranger: the meaning you have found is not truth

You: i trap, i eat, i kill

Stranger: hunting for food is fine

You: how about cannibalism

You: i do that to

Stranger: in survival situations it may be needed

You: i also have eaten polar bear rib, and fried bald eagle

Stranger: both sound yummy

You: you see you seem like a fabulous person that likes twilight

Stranger: hate twilight ugh

Stranger: that **** is ****ing gay

You: and btw explosions make the world better

You: NOW YOU’RE TALKING MY LANGUAGE!

Stranger: maybe someday, you’ll see the errors of your ways

You: btw, i’m a 13 year old kid, just trying to troll you, a spawn of the awesomeness that is forumwarz.com

You: go there and sign up my friend! Log in to see images!

Stranger: we are trolls among trolls

You: it’s fun and funny as hell

You: that’s right, this was all a ****ing commercial

Stranger: ugh kids. GET OFF MY LAWN

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server…

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: hi

You: i just farted

You: it was a good one

You: had to check for poop

You: (there wasn’t any)

Your conversational partner has disconnected.