ATTENTION:

OK YOU LAZY bumHOLES, I’VE TAKEN FROM MY OWN TIME TO FINALLY ****ING WRITE THE BASIC WALKTHROUGH.

TUBMAIL ME ME IF YOU FIND FURTHER POINTS/EASTER EGGS SO I MAY ADD THEM

IF YOU’RE TOO LAZY TO SEARCH FOR IT HERE IT IS:

Basic walkthrough:

note:The following contains pretty much only the walkthrough to get through the game, basicly the bare minimum to complete the game. With that said, if anyone can contribute further by adding easter eggs and other details that add points please do so. Included are hints if your not a lazy bumhole!

ACQUIRING THE CHIPSLog in to see images!Hint:Its all about the “cycle” of life:we started out as bubbles in that cycle you know. Couldn’t do anything if we left anything inside that bubble)

You begin your game in your dingy apartment room. Go north to exit your room and proceed either down the stairs to the north. Or to avoid embarrbumment; simply go to the east, take the sign, push the elevator bumon and roll north into the elevator. Wait for it to finish its decent and roll out of the elevator to the south. Depending on your path you will be greeted by a sneering, or glum George. Talking with him, then insert your dollar bill into your cycle, and cycle it. Retrieve the dollar bill, then insert it into the vending machine. You will be rewarded with your chips, which you must also cycle into the bubble to consume. With that, you are ready to resume your routine of trolling the internet. Push the elevator bumon and roll back north into the elevator.

SECRET MISSIONLog in to see images!Hint: How do I use a touch screen? Maybe that bumhole George might know. Well, I’ll ask after I order some food)

When the elevator climbs to the second floor, roll out to the south and proceed west then south back to your room. Turn on your internet to begin. Once inside, touch bookmarks, then touch your spendfriend account, then touch your tubmail account. Touch Agent Smith’s message to acquire your mission. Exit the internet and proceed back downstairs through the elevator and talk to George. Seems this bastard has left you trapped inside the building! Proceed back upstairs through the elevator and into your room. If you touched the spendfriend account and talked to George you will hear a knock at the door after you enter. Go back outside, retrieve the package, enter your room then drop the package. Open it to reveal its contents, a pamphlet and a strange block of plastic. Pull the orange tab to reveal the strange contraption.

Extra points: 1.Touch lolicon folder then touch your collection to begin fapping, you ****ing pedophile you.
2.Rotate your contraption east to infiltrate your naughty neighbor’s home and find his incredibly bizarre deed.

GRAND MAIN STREET PERFORMANCELog in to see images!hint: People throw away the darnest things: but sometimes your gotta drop it on the street just like you can drop OTHER things)

Rotate your contraption west towards the window and enter it. You will be catapulted out into the alley where you will meet up with the eccentric Agent Smith. After a short convo, he departs up the ladder and unwittingly leaves you behind. Attempt to open the dumpster in the alley to reveal a strange pile of rags. Examine the rags to reveal Dirty Panchez. Talk with him and inquire about his special drug. Again, open the dumpster to reveal the garbage, then look at the garbage to find a spiffy new hat. Take the hat, and proceed north to main street. Drop the hat to begin your wonderful performance. Simply begin pooping to woo the crowd. Eventually someone will drop a dollar into the hat. Take the dollar, then the hat, then proceed west back to the alley. Give the dollar to Sanchez and he will in turn give you the blue pill. Cycle the pill bottle and eat the blue pill to enter the wonderfully awful phallic forest.

PHALLIC FORREST AND THE ROOFTOPLog in to see images!Hint:Sometimes its a good thing that alcohol wears off, but it certainly takes time. Not to mention a nasty hangover. From personal experience puking tends to really help a hangover.)

You are now stuck in the phallic Forrest, with only your trusty pork sword. Touch your pork sword to get it ready, and climb the male reproductive organ to get a better vantage point. All you have to do to get past this point is wait it out. Simply type “look” or “wait” over and over again until your stay in the Forrest is over. When you awaken you will be kicking and screaming. Sanchez is long gone, the bastard. With your newfound power, fly up to the building 3 times to be on the roof. Unfortunately once you reach the roof, your power will be at an end and the last part of the drug trip will begin. You don’t have much time to figure it out, vomit the drug out of your system to save yourself just in time. Afterwords, look at the helicopter then enter it to begin your next endeavor.

HELICOPTER TRIPLog in to see images!Hint:Sometimes you gotta pull people’s stings to get through in tough times. And once you look through those tired messes of strings you’ll find the true answer)

Once you are inside the helicopter, talk back and fourth to Agent Smith, he will have much to tell you. As you readily approach the secret island, you begin feeling nervous. Suddenly helibot reveals his true intention to kill you and Smith, and begins shifting the controls down in a barrel roll towards the water(**** you Peppey). Pull helibot’s power cord to reveal a mess of wires. Then look at the wires to reveal a computer ship. Take the chip to turn off helibot and Smith will handle the rest.

ONTO THE SHORE AND INTO THE FORTLog in to see images!hint:Ever stroll around the shorelines? You’d be surprised what can wash ashore. Hey, another man’s junk is another man’s treasure. I do wonder how people can put cigarettes out in gasoline, practicing such a talent sure sounds painful.

Now you seem to have washed ashore onto the island. Not a problem, just gotta find Smith. Head west twice to find him, and don’t forget to pick up all your items you dropped:you never know when you’ll need them. now, head back east three times to find the strange crate that has washed ashore. Attempt to open it and Smith will finally make himself useful and open it for you, revealing several candy bars. Take a handful of bars and proceed west twice, then north into the path. You will be at the jungle junction. Two paces west will harbor the crashed helicopter, and a pace east will harbor the secret fortress. To the southeast is a rocky ledge that you can use to get a closer look. Avast! That bloody bastard George is at it again. He’s well armed so you’ll need to think of something. Climb down northwest and drop a bar at the forest edge, the forest junction, the grbumy hill, and the crash site. Proceed back to the rocky overhang and finally throw the last bar. George will follow the path of bars to his utter demise. Take his arm that splatters over and proceed northwest, then east to the gate. You will need a security clearance, luckily you have a piece of a minion. No not George, but the little computer chip. Wave the chip in the scanner to open the door, then enter the base to the east.

OUT OF THE PAN AND INTO THE FIRE. THE TRAP ROOMLog in to see images!hint I’ve always preferred mechanical pens, but its bloody annoying when they run out of that black ink. That little cylindrical tube is tough to fill. I might need someone to lend a hand or an arm just to write!)

Once past the door, you and Smith exchange a heartfelt speech. But before long, Smith goes and yet again does something drastic, leading to his untimely demise. As you watch in horror, you notice a little robot that seems to know the way. Unfortunately you need to persuade him to help you. If the pill bottle isn’t inside your bubble, cycle it. Then poop or **** to have your cleaning device spout out that messy black liquid. Take the liquid(you can only do that if your bottle is inside the bubble and in your possession) and cycle it to the outside. Drop the liquid, then drop the severed arm of George. The cleaning robot will stray a path of ink while cleaning up the remains of the arm. Head on east through the ink line to get to the next room. Look though the window to see a mystery man in a wheelchair. He notices you, pushed a bumon, and sends you tumbling to the final showdown.

FINAL SHOWDOWN!Log in to see images!eople do the darnest things when they’re mad, that’s why trolling is a popular pastime in this day and age. But hey, there’s gotta be something in this bubble I haven’t used yet.)

You find yourself face to face with the wheelchair man and a giant drill. Looks like he’s got you by the balls. Its none other than Caleb, the man you unknowingly and uncaringly rejected from your clan. Seems he’s quite bumhurt. Talk with him until you finally see the message “You don’t know what to say”. You don’t have much time to figure out the right words. Simply insult Caleb three times to get him to lose his temper, free you, and become the giant mech. With him approaching, now is the time to push that tiny discreet bumon you never thought of trying until now. Pushing it transforms you into the giant bubble mech! Pick up the drill you knocked over and impale Caleb to end him once and for all. You transform into your regular self and the bumon has disappeared! Finally, take a look at the console. You’ll notice 5 egg shaped indends, a lever, and a large red bumon. Push the large red bumon, and behold the fruit of your labor! It’s the end.

Though you get nothing for completing this, perhaps there is a special reward for a perfect score. We won’t know till its been done! Until them, keep on looking.

**** this ****

stuck at 0/127

**** this ****

it’s not possible to beat this without a walkthrough

is there an epeen bumociated with this? if not screw you bop

Inertia edited this message on 11/08/2008 3:05AM

Reav-r Posted:

How do I work cycler?
It’s apparently beyond my comprehensional abilities to use the right verb(s).

Put items in the chamber, type ‘cycle’, and get them. This works for outside -> inside and for inside -> outside the bubble.

Could someone please tell me either straight up or in really obvious hints how to get the 5 easter eggs?

broomboy Posted:

Could someone please tell me either straight up or in really obvious hints how to get the 5 easter eggs?

A complete guide to getting them is in the walk through in the wiki, but the secret ending is kind of, erm, gay

Adapt Posted:

A complete guide to getting them is in the walk through in the wiki, but the secret ending is kind of, erm, gay

where is this clearing it mentions?

Adapt Posted:

A complete guide to getting them is in the walk through in the wiki, but the secret ending is kind of, erm, gay

Jesus Christ I feel violated after that.

I’m having trouble getting to Forumwarz. I’ve tried ”visit forumwarz”, “go to forumwarz” and “look at address bar” but none of them worked. A little help here?

This is infuriating. I keep getting stuck in the hallway, and I don’t understand why the game randomly refuses to listen to directional commands.