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Zongay

WARNING!!!!!!!!! THE BELOW TEXT IS HIGHLY SPOILERIFFIC!!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DONT WANT ELEMENTS OF EPISODE TWO SPOILED!!!!!!!!


































































Zongay is a member of the Flaming Black Ops along with Ravit “Blacksnake” Nordstrom III and the Anonymous'. Ravit seems to have at least some degree of respect for him, since he tells the protagonist that "anything you can say in front of me, you can say in front of Zongay". Zongay has a tendency to log in and out of IDC constantly, disrupting conversations and showing up where he is not wanted. It is also shown, in pbuming, that Zongay has a disturbing tendency to hold onto a grudge, and that he seems dedicated in utterly destroying any person who insults him in pbuming. Zongay seems to fancy himself a troll, but his actions label him as an emo kid.

In real life, Zongay is a handicapped man named Caleb. Details of Caleb's life are sparse, but it is hinted that his father has pbumed away (or if he hasn't, pretended he did) and Caleb feels a creepy, Oedipal attraction to his mother. In an alternate timeline, Caleb has sex with his mother and then kills her. He then commits suicide after having sex with a stuffed teddy bear. Since Caleb shows up alive in the Bubble Troll Text Adventure we can be sure his suicide is not canonical, but it all sounds like stuff he'd probably do anyway.

At some point in the official storyline, Caleb sent a tubmail to Bubble Troll, applying to become a member of the Order of the Brown Starfish. Bubble Troll rejected his application, more for the lulz than any legitimate reason, and responded calling Caleb "pathetic", "probably a furry", and "a complete waste of organic matter". Caleb was so upset by this rejection that he decided to kill himself, and immediately popped a Euthanides pill. Unfortunately, the Euthanides was not 100% effective- instead of killing Caleb, it paralyzed him from the waist down. Caleb decided that he would make it his mission to die in "the most spectacular way possible"... before he died, he wanted to be able to fly and to be surrounded by giant male reproductive organes. To this end Caleb had the drug Exploding Angel male reproductive organ created, and spread it across the market. Caleb soon became rich at the expense of his consumers, who died immediately after using his product, and dedicated his fortune to tracking down and finding revenge against the one that had brought him so low: Bubble Troll.

Caleb succeeded in tracking down Bubble Troll and through an unnecessarily pondorous scheme led him into his lair. Here Caleb trapped Bubble Troll and revealed his identity as Zongay, then transformed into a Wheelchair Mech to kill his foe. In response, Bubble Troll transformed into a Bubble Mech and defeated Caleb with a giant drill, finally ending his menace.


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