Base Cost
This is the base cost of all items on Forumwarz. The best way to find the base cost of an item is to use the create an auction screen provided by Kyoubai: it shows the base costs of all of your unequipped items. Alternatively, if you know your frugality multiplier or it's on the chart below you can use the price that the ppwn shop will buy it for. This price is calculated by multiplying the base cost by your frugality multiplier, rounded down. Running this backwards, you can divide your sale price by your multiplier, but rounding errors mean that you might end up with a slightly different base cost than the real one using this method. Please use Kyoubai instead.
| Frugality | Multiplier |
|---|---|
| 1 | |
| 2 | |
| 3 | |
| 4 | |
| 5 | 0.5875 |
| 6 | |
| 7 | 0.6225 |
| 8 | |
| 9 | 0.6575 |
| 10 | |
| 11 to at least 22 | 0.655 |
NOTE: Books may have a high base value but they have an extremely low resale value in the ppwne shoppe.
| Image | Name | Type | Base Cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| ‘90s Senior Picture | Junk | 41,325 | |
| Actual Garbage | Junk | 31,500 | |
| Adoption Certificate | Special | 292,500 | |
| Arabic Tattoo | Tattoo | 500 | |
| Baby Sealskin Overcoat | Fetish | 3,000 | |
| Bachelor of Liberal Arts Degree | Special | 525 | |
| bear escapes local zoo children die hysterical.divy | Video File | 65,345 | |
| Birdhouse | Junk | 9 | |
| Black Armband Tattoo | Tattoo | 16,000 | |
| Black Box | Hardware | 100 | |
| Blood Analyzer | Hardware | 19,000 | |
| Blue Box | Hardware | 1,000 | |
| Bicycle | Junk | 500 | |
| Brolex Watch | Junk | 59,550 | |
| Chinese Takeaway | Junk | 1 | |
| CMPLT MRN’S GIDE 2 TXTNG | Book | 172,000 | |
| Complete Set of All Seven Dragon Balls | Special | 250,000 | |
| Copper Heatsink | Hardware | 500 | |
| Crack Addict™ Boythong | Lingerie | 150,000 | |
| DEFINITELY NOT A SHOCK IMAGE.ogle | Picture File | 65,345 | |
| Dishwashing Brush | Junk | 4 | |
| Don’t Tell Mommy™ | Fetish | 25 | |
| Easter Eggs | Junk | 57,750 | |
| Eyebrow Piercing | Piercing | 30 | |
| Falcon Preservation Donor Receipt | Junk | 80,000 | |
| Flip-Flops | Shoes | 10 | |
| FranCisco GAI-Series | Hardware | 4,000 | |
| FreeLink Router | Hardware | 50 | |
| Fuzzy Handcuffs | Special | 6,838 | |
| Gaydar | Glbumes | 436,000 | |
| Geek-Chic™ | Glbumes | 400 | |
| Gem-Studded Crawks™ | Shoes | 6,838 | |
| Genuine Troll Club | Fetish | 999 | |
| Hamster-Powered Motherboard | Hardware | 176,500 | |
| Hard Drive full o’ Porn | Hardware | 139,500 | |
| Harris Piltons™ | Glbumes | 10,000 | |
| Heterozygous Tiger | Fetish | 600 | |
| Homeless Man’s Cardboard Box | Hardware | 5 | |
| Hypnotism Glbumes | Glbumes | 311,000 | |
| I Almost Had Sex With a Woman: Memoirs of a Hacker Hero | Book | 73,000 | |
| iPrune™ | Computer | 999 | |
| IRL Firewall | Special | 231,625 | |
| Ironic Egg Timer | Junk | 5 | |
| Japanese Schoolgirl Knee-High Socks | Shoes | 3,970 | |
| Japanese Tattoo | Tattoo | 100 | |
| Jew's harp | Junk | 6,000 | |
| Laundry Cat | Junk | 56,400 | |
| Lucky Dead Squirrel | Special | 1,499 | |
| Low-End Fan | Hardware | 150 | |
| Marble | Junk | 2 | |
| Master Ball | Special | 325,000 | |
| Me without black eyeshadow (don't make fun).GAWK | Picture File | 502 | |
| Medical Eyepatch | Glbumes | 470,000 | |
| Navel Piercing | Piercing | 32,000 | |
| Nutmeg | Consumable | 10 | |
| nVulva TITZ | Hardware | 750 | |
| Obsolete Computer | Computer | 50 | |
| Pearl Necklace Necklace | Junk | 22,225 | |
| Pictures of YOU.leer | Picture File | 65,345 | |
| pink floyd – darkside full album (ttly syncs w/ wzrd of oz at 2:43 awesome!!!).h | Music File | 85,345 | |
| PointLezz™ MicroNotebook | Computer | 2,749 | |
| Princess Shoes | Shoes | 100 | |
| Prodded™ | Glbumes | 32,000 | |
| Professor Tightly’s Old-Fashioned™ Corset | Lingerie | 800,000 | |
| PruneBook™ | Computer | 1,999 | |
| PruneServ™ | Computer | 4,999 | |
| Raffle Ticket | Junk | 10 | |
| Rare Hitler Stamp | Fetish | 21,000 | |
| Reading Glbumes | Glbumes | 5 | |
| Retro Calendar | Junk | 6 | |
| Seacrest 250GB Hard Drive | Hardware | 200 | |
| Sexual relations with that woman | Junk | 5,325 | |
| Simple Web Spider™ | Web Spider | 50 | |
| ****.MILF.asian.mammary glands.great timesshot.latina.interracial.anal.girls.dvda | Video File | 65,345 | |
| spank that (soulja girl).lstn | Music File | 65,345 | |
| Stack of Burnt DVDs | Junk | 34,848 | |
| Stem Cell Harvesting Kit | Fetish | 1,500 | |
| Sticky Ball of Garbage | Special | 100,000 | |
| Stripper Pole | Special | 200,000 | |
| Suit of the Union™ Long Johns | Lingerie | 9,000 | |
| Superi-Os™ | Junk | 36,450 | |
| Tempdress ™ Crotchless Panties | Lingerie | 633,500 | |
| The Anorexic Cookbook: 59 Fun Recipes for Water | Book | 228,000 | |
| The Color Orange | Junk | 55,000 | |
| The Italian | Junk | 57,900 | |
| The Ol’ Backup | Computer | 1,499 | |
| The Pleasure Bag™ | Junk | 50,000 | |
| Thieved Identity | Fetish | 75 | |
| Toasted western 500GB hard drive | Hardware | 4,000 | |
| Tomato Soup Can | Junk | 8 | |
| Tonsil Regeneration | Surgical Procedure | 150,000 | |
| Toy Eyeball | Junk | 4 | |
| Unaired Network Exclusive – Black People with REAL Jobs.divy | Video File | 65,345 | |
| Urine-Cooling System | Hardware | 19,000 | |
| Used Antipode™ Sneakers | Shoes | 5 | |
| Venus de Milo | Junk | 60,000 | |
| Versnatche™ Earbleeders | Glbumes | 504,000 | |
| Viva Brazilia™ Microkini | Lingerie | 504,000 | |
| Vulgari™ Pretentious | Glbumes | 260,000 | |
| Vinyl Record | Junk | 7 | |
| Water-Cooling System | Hardware | 4,000 | |
| Wirefire 6.38 | Computer | 3,499 |
Items to be added to the table (shamelessly copy-pasted from elsewhere on spoilerpedia). It would also be good to watch the ppwn show and kyoubai:
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Ego +12 | Log in to see images!Ego +20 | Log in to see images!Ego +50 | |||
| Log in to see images!Ego +100 | Log in to see images!Ego +30 | Log in to see images!Kills you. |
| Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Removes Ad Hominem |
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Processing Power +15 | Log in to see images!Processing Power +30 |
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Tears +10 | Log in to see images!Tears +18 | ||
| Log in to see images!Tears +40 | Log in to see images!Tears +60 |
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Sexiness +15 | Log in to see images!Sexiness +25 | Log in to see images!Sexiness +50 |
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Douchebaggery +10 | Log in to see images!For 3 turns:
| ||
| Log in to see images!Douchebaggery +25
| Log in to see images!Douchebaggery +10
| ||
| Log in to see images!Douchebaggery +50
| Log in to see images!Douchebaggery +60 | ||
| Log in to see images!Douchebaggery +100
| Log in to see images!Douchebaggery +150 |
Homemade ‘Roids Sampler Pack Digital Vasectomy 3.0
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!For 5 turns:
| Log in to see images!Ego +100 | ||
| Log in to see images!Ego +150 | Log in to see images!Ego +45
|
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Douchebaggery +200 | Log in to see images!Douchebaggery +250 |
| Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Processing Power +150 |
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Tears +40 | Log in to see images!Tears +100
| ||
| Log in to see images!Tears +200 |
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Sexiness +50 | Log in to see images!Tears +100
| ||
| Log in to see images!Sexiness +100 | Log in to see images!Sexiness +200 |
| Icon | Icon | Icon | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Ego +200 | Log in to see images!Ego +250 | Log in to see images!Ego +300 | |||
| Log in to see images!Processing Power +45 | Log in to see images!Processing Power +60 | Log in to see images!Processing Power +90 | |||
| Log in to see images!Tears +75 | Log in to see images!Tears +150 | Log in to see images!Douchebaggery +300 | |||
| Log in to see images!Sexiness +75 | Log in to see images!Sexiness +150 | Log in to see images!Sexiness +275 |
| Computers | |
|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +5 | |
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +13 | |
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +24 | |
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +47 | |
| Consumables | |
|---|---|
| Log in to see images! for 9 turns after use. | |
| Log in to see images!Removes DVORAK | |
| Log in to see images!Prevents Power Surges for 9 turns after use. | |
| Log in to see images!, and Packet Loss for 9 turns after use |
| Junk | |
|---|---|
| Log in to see images! | |
| Log in to see images! |
| Other Stuff | |
|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Listed as useless junk, but also required for a mission | |
| Log in to see images!Quest Item | |
| Log in to see images!. |
| Icon | |
|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Useless Junk | |
| Log in to see images!Useless Junk |
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Ego: +20 | Log in to see images!Max Ego: +30 | Log in to see images!Max Ego: +42 | |||
| Log in to see images!Max Ego: +50 | Log in to see images!Max Processing Power +72
| Plum™ Plum™ iBrator™
|
Computers
| Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +36 |
Hardware
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Processing Power +5 | Log in to see images!Luck +1 | ||
| Log in to see images!Processing Power +25 | Log in to see images!Luck +3 | ||
| Log in to see images!Processing Power +50 | Log in to see images!Luck +5 | ||
| Log in to see images!Processing Power +100 | Log in to see images!Luck +10 | ||
| Log in to see images!Offense +2 | Log in to see images!Defense +1
| ||
| Log in to see images!Offense +5 | Log in to see images!Defense +4
| ||
| Log in to see images!Offense +8 | Log in to see images!Defense +6
| ||
| Log in to see images!Offense +10 | Log in to see images!Defense +10
| ||
| Log in to see images!Offense +15 | Log in to see images!Defense +15
| ||
| Log in to see images!Defense +2 | Log in to see images!Processing Power +15
| ||
| Log in to see images!Defense +5 | Log in to see images!Processing Power +35
| ||
| Log in to see images!Defense +8 | Log in to see images!Processing Power +75
| ||
| Log in to see images!Defense +3 | Log in to see images!Max Ego +20 | ||
| Log in to see images!Defense +4 | Log in to see images!Defense +15
| ||
| Log in to see images!Defense +6 | |||
| Log in to see images!Defense +7
|
Special Items
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +8
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +16
|
Piercings
| Icon | Icon | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +5 | Log in to see images!Max Tears +30
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +75
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +100
|
Tattoos
| Icon | Icon | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +10
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +10 | ||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +10
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +20
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +30
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +20
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +35 | Log in to see images!Max Tears +50
|
fetishes:
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +5
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +10
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +10
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +25
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +35
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +50
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +60
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +75
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +125
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +375
|
Glbumes
| Icon | Icon | Icon | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +5 | Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +5 | Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +10
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +20
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +30
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +15 | |||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +33
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +40
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +50
|
| Icon | Icon | Icon | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +2 | Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +5 | Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +7
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +10 | Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +20 | Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +15
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +30
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +35
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +40
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +45
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +50
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +75
|
| Icon | Icon | Icon | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Useless Junk | Log in to see images!Max Processing Power +25
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +30
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +15 | Log in to see images!Max Tears +25
| Log in to see images!Max Processing Power +50
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +50
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +25 | Log in to see images!Max Tears +45
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +40
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +75
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +30 | |||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +60
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +80
|
| Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +100 | |
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +100 | |
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +100 | |
| Log in to see images!Max Processing Power +100 | |
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +50 |
| Icon | Icon | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +25
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +35
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +45
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +50
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +70
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +90
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +110
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +130
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +150
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +175
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +200
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +250
|
| Icon | Icon | Icon | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +75
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +100
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +125
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery +50 | Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +150
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +200
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +50 | Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +250
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +250
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +300
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +400
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +500
| |||
| Log in to see images!Max Sexiness +600
|
Piercings
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +125
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +150
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +200
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +225
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +250
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +275
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +300
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +325
|
Tattoos
| Icon | Name and Stats | Icon | Name and Stats |
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +75
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +100
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +125
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +150
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +175
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +200
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +225
| Log in to see images!Max Tears +250
|
| Icon | Icon | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery: 150
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery: 175
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery: 200
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery: 250
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery: 300
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery: 350
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery: 400
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery: 450
| ||
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery: 500
| Log in to see images!Max Douchebaggery: 600
|
| Item Clbum | Item Image | Item Name | Item Stats | Base Cost | Idea Submitter | Image Submitter | Completed? |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Video File | Log in to see images!.glbum.1915.dvda | Max Ego +43 Max Sexiness +40 Max Douchebaggery +95 Offense +5 Defense +5 Luck +5 Frugality +5 Charisma +4 | Log in to see images!65,345 | Splargety | Yes! | ||
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! My Dead Girlfriend Tattoo | Max Tears +235 Offense +6 Defense +5 | Log in to see images!546,000 | Acid Flux | handofg0d | Yes! | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Stigmata | Max Tears +289 Offense +10 Defense +8 | Log in to see images!398,000 | Cheetara | Aristrofl | Yes! | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Gaydar | Max Sexiness +489 Offense +15 Defense +11 Charisma +22 | Log in to see images!436,000 | Gameshrk90 | Asian Rapini | Yes! | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Black Electrical Tape | Max Sexiness +214 Offense +3 Defense +4 Luck +5 Charisma +6 | Log in to see images!652,000 | Vageena Davis | Inconnu | Yes! | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Soul Piercing | Max Tears +291 Offense +11 Defense +10 | Log in to see images!345,000 | Cruzader | Inconnu | Yes! | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Complete set of all 7 Dragon Balls | Max Ego +30 Offense +15 Defense +21 | Log in to see images!550,000 | CrinkzPipe | momentumenergy | Yes! | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Used School Girl Panties | Max Sexiness +207 Offense +5 Defense +2 Luck +6 Charisma +6 | Log in to see images!578,000 | Raepdog | ninja_pedophile | Yes! | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Spinal Tap | Max Tears +351 Offense +10 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!451,000 | GoshSpeedy | Duckythemagicfine upstanding member of society | Yes! | |
| Books | Log in to see images! Kama Sutra Pop-Up Book | Max Ego +14 Max Sexiness +42 Luck +4 | Log in to see images!319,000 | ThRiLlHo123455 | Bashy | Yes! | |
| Books | Log in to see images! Autographed First Edition of Mein Kampf | Max Ego +15 Max Douchebaggery +39 Luck +4 | Log in to see images!319,000 | dobnits | ninjies | Yes! | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Master Ball | Max Ego +48 Offense +23 Defense +33 | Log in to see images!325,000 | Peregrine | stupid name | Yes! | |
| Fetishes | Log in to see images! Entire Second Grade Girls Soccer Team | Max Douchebaggery +604 Offense +11 Defense +28 | Log in to see images!706,000 | Cheetara | ninjies | Yes! | |
| Books | Log in to see images! Why Are They Putting Daddy in the Ground? | Max Douchebaggery +39 Max Tears +25 Defense +5 Charisma +5 | Log in to see images!506,000 | PUBICDAWG | ninjies | Yes! | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Sexy Librarian Glbumes | Max Sexiness +447 Offense +9 Defense +11 Charisma +18 | Log in to see images!311,091 | DubbleD1g1tz | Vageena Davis | Yes! | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Crossed Out Name Tattoo | Max Tears +208 Offense +6 Defense +5 | Log in to see images!394,991 | Samildanach | Buck_Cheeks_923 | Yes! | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Oversized Jackie Onbumis Glbumes | Max Sexiness +539 Offense +13 Defense +12 Charisma +21 | Log in to see images!493,260~ | plk | Vageena Davis | Yes! | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Mary Janes | Max Sexiness +24 Offense +3 Defense +1 | Log in to see images!7,470 | DubbleD1g1tz | Vageena Davis | Yes! | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Auschwitz Identification Number | Max Tears +247 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!673,000 | Cheetara | Re-Retard | Yes! | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Death Clock | Max Tears +290 Offense +8 Defense +7 | Log in to see images!260,000 | Wyrd | SplodgeMonkey | Yes! | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Botched Do-It-Yourself Piercing | Max Tears +276 Offense +8 Defense +7 | Log in to see images!260,000 | SplodgeMonkey | IceDragon | Yes! | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Inactivated Conficker Virus | Max Processing Power +52 Offense +8 Defense +8 Luck +5 | Log in to see images!176,500 | Alexia von Drachen | STRONGVICIOUS88 | Yes! | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Hamster-Powered Motherboard | Max Processing Power +50 Offense +8 Defense +8 Luck +5 | Log in to see images!176,500 | Snap017 | Potilas | Yes! | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Medical Eyepatch | Max Sexiness +518 Offense +17 Defense +12 Charisma +22 | Log in to see images!470,000 | ninjies | Newton | Yes! | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Pleather Thigh-Highs | Max Sexiness +37 Offense +4 Defense +2 | Log in to see images!6,205 | Kitten-Face | Mistress Mary Starscream | Yes! | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Wrist Slash Tattoo | Max Tears +249 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!509,500 | Metaldragon | kittiejenn | Yes! | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Corset Piercing | Max Tears +185 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!62,000 | naughty-mayhem | Black Dragon | Yes! | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Power Glove | Max Ego +16 Max Processing Power +24 Offense +12 Defense +15 Luck +3 | Log in to see images!213,000 | DubbleD1g1tz | DarkArmy | Yes! | |
| Books | Log in to see images! The Big Book of Dead Babies | Max Ego +8 Max Douchebaggery +40 Max Tears +13 Defense +3 Luck +2 Charisma +3 | Log in to see images!412,500 | Vageena Davis | Johnny Mac | Yes! | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Body Paint | Max Sexiness +213 Offense +4 Defense +3 Luck +6 Charisma +6 | Log in to see images!615,000 | Johnny Mac | KinkyKinkajou | Yes! | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Vulgari™ Pretentious | Max Sexiness +335 Offense +11 Defense +10 Charisma +18 | Log in to see images!260,000 | JayZJay | DarkArmy | Yes! | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Japanese Schoolgirl Knee-high Socks | Max Sexiness +46 Offense +5 Defense +1 | Log in to see images!3,970 | Captainman | DarkArmy | Yes! | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! Wirefire 6.38 | Max Ego +42 | Log in to see images!3,499 | McMacTaco360 | JayZJay | Yes! | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Fix Itembuildr Tattoo | Max Tears +235 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!455,233 | IceDragon | ____ | Yes! | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Adoption Certificate | Max Ego +24 Max Tears +149 Offense +16 Defense +20 | Log in to see images!292,500 | AJ_Impy | PseudoNymph | Yes! | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Chainmail Bikini | Max Sexiness +213 Offense +5 Defense +3 Luck +6 Charisma +6 | Log in to see images!596,500 | Kitten-Face | DarkArmy | Yes! | |
| Books | Log in to see images! Your High School Yearbook | Max Ego +12 Max Douchebaggery +39 Max Tears +7 Defense +2 Luck +3 Charisma +2 | Log in to see images!365,750 | KinkyKinkajou | JayZJay | Yes! | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Clitoral Ring | Max Tears +272 Offense +7 Defense +7 | Log in to see images!200,000 | Alorwin | JulieTearJerkyOnTheFloor | Yes! | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Soviet Spetznium™ Proccessor | Max Processing Power +37 Offense +11 Defense +8 | Log in to see images!109,000 | ZombieFreak | timorpheus | Yes! | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Yet Another Pointless Itembuildr Tattoo | Max Tears +258 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!591,250 | moblin21 | Jellycakes | Yes! | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! PointLezz™ MicroNotebook | Max Ego +36 | Log in to see images!2,749 | Vageena Davis | bearzrnyce | 06/02/2009 | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Overly Complex Steampunk Monocle | Max Sexiness +79 Max Douchebaggery +25 Offense +4 Charisma +3 | Log in to see images!62,000 | Ambient Etheral | DARK_QUACK | 06/04/2009 | |
| Books | Log in to see images! Trolling for Dummies | Max Ego +4 Max Douchebaggery +39 Max Tears +19 Defense +4 Luck +1 Charisma +4 | Log in to see images!459,250 | Inconnu | W33N3R | 06/06/2009 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Tempdress ™ Crotchless Panties | Max Sexiness +212 Offense +4 Defense +4 Luck +6 Charisma +6 | Log in to see images!633,500 | Wylin | man-man | 06/08/2009 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Ridiculously Ergonomic Keyboard | Max Processing Power +38 Offense +9 Defense +5 | Log in to see images!78,250 | Catt although | Inconnu | 06/10/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Stephen Hawking’s Voice | Max Ego +8 Max Processing Power +37 Offense +10 Defense +12 Luck +4 | Log in to see images!194,875 | the jibbilies | man-man | 06/12/2009 | |
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Walt Disney's Frozen Head | Log in to see images!70,000 | Joseph of Suburbia | Heaven | 06/14/2009 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Six trillion Zimbabwean dollars | Log in to see images!70,000 | GulpingAgain | rawrmonsta | 06/16/2009 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Preorder Receipt for Duke Nukem Forever | Log in to see images!16,763 | Vageena Davis | scully | 06/18/2009 | ||
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Lead Pipe Through the Head | Max Tears +293 Offense +10 Defense +9 | Log in to see images!318,500 | man-man | Lime555 | 06/20/2009 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Ex-Girlfriends | Max Tears +236 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!736,500 | andrestyle | Skeith_ | 06/22/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Stripper Pole | Max Sexiness +270 Offense +9 Defense +9 Charisma +13 | Log in to see images!200,000 | The Spanker | Re dei sepolcri | 06/24/2009 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! Self-Built Computer | Max Ego +47 | Log in to see images!4,249 | Cl0ckw3rk | Jubbles | 06/26/2009 | |
| Books | Log in to see images! On the Orgies of Species | Max Ego +14 Max Douchebaggery +38 Max Tears +4 Defense +1 Luck +4 Charisma +1 | Log in to see images!342,375 | Bragzor | British | 06/28/2009 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Strategically Placed Band-aids | Max Sexiness +207 Offense +5 Defense +3 Luck +6 Charisma +6 | Log in to see images!587,250 | NeoVid | Keeblrkid | 06/30/2009 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Hard Drive full o’ Porn | Max Processing Power +52 Offense +8 Defense +8 | Log in to see images!146,468 | andrestyle | ghax | 07/02/2009 | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Sex-Ray Vision Glbumes | Max Sexiness +267 Offense +9 Defense +9 Charisma +13 | Log in to see images!200,000 | DarkArmy | ghax | 07/04/2009 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Dolphin Tattoo | Max Tears +243 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!386,875 | ghax | twelvety | 07/07/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! IRL Firewall | Max Ego +23 Max Processing Power +12 Offense +14 Defense +18 Luck +2 | Log in to see images!231,625 | zahlman | Kongming | 07/09/2009 | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Ballet Slippers | Max Sexiness +45 Offense +5 Defense +2 | Log in to see images!5,573 | DubbleD1g1tz | derfboy23 | 07/11/2009 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! The Vincent Van Gogh | Max Tears +293 Offense +11 Defense +9 | Log in to see images!371,500 | andrestyle | andrestyle | 07/13/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Gold Star Sticker | Max Ego +24 | Log in to see images!1,499 | Wylin | MC Banhammer | 07/15/2009 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Plum™ iPorn™ | Max Processing Power +72 Offense +4 Defense +4 Luck +3 | Log in to see images!164,750 | Kittysan | Ikaruwa | 07/17/2009 | |
| Books | Log in to see images! Your Bad Behavior Killed Santa | Max Ego +10 Max Douchebaggery +40 Max Tears +10 Defense +3 Luck +3 Charisma +3 | Log in to see images!389,125 | andrestyle | W33N3R | 07/19/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Lucky Dead Squirrel | Max Ego +25 | Log in to see images!1,499 | SanDyk | Bucephalus | 07/21/2009 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Dead Grandparent Memorial Tattoo | Max Tears +232 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!468,625 | mudkip_akimbo | DarkArmy | 07/23/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Full Length Mirror | Max Sexiness +30 Offense +4 Defense +2 | Log in to see images!6,838 | Sarcasm Inc | DarkArmy | 07/25/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Fuzzy Handcuffs | Max Sexiness +32 Offense +4 Defense +2 | Log in to see images!6,838 | Sly Mold | Inertia | 07/27/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Plum™ iBrator™ | Max Sexiness +210 Offense +5 Defense +3 Luck +6 Charisma +6 | Log in to see images!605,750 | Kittysan | Aldo_Anything | 07/29/2009 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Bubble Wrap Bra | Max Sexiness +224 Offense +5 Defense +3 Luck +6 Charisma +6 | Log in to see images!605,750 | male reproductive organpunch Gina | Dunatis | 07/31/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! 1,000 Facebook Friends | Max Sexiness +402 Offense +11 Defense +11 Charisma +19 | Log in to see images!311,000 | GroundZero | Skyman747 | 08/02/2009 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! The Ol’ Backup | Max Ego +24 | Log in to see images!1,499 | ChronoDrgn | quantumenergy | 08/04/2009 | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Hypnotism Glbumes | Max Sexiness +440 Offense +11 Defense +11 Charisma +19 | Log in to see images!311,000 | Fang Yuan | Amasius | 08/06/2009 | |
| Books | Log in to see images! The Big Picture Book of STDs | Max Ego +6 Max Douchebaggery +41 Max Tears +16 Defense +4 Luck +2 Charisma +4 | Log in to see images!435,875 | Anon Ymous | Devianlawl | 08/08/2009 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Misspelled Tattoo | Max Tears +247 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!550,375 | zer0_clu3 | Advocato | 08/10/2009 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Flux Capacitor | Max Processing Power +25 Offense +12 Defense +12 Luck +8 | Log in to see images!188,250 | mterek | HannarCookie29 | 08/12/2009 | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Gem-Studded Crawks™ | Max Sexiness +32 Offense +4 Defense +2 | Log in to see images!6,838 | Advocato | wtfmcnuggets | 08/14/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Diamond Studded Dildo | Max Ego +24 Max Sexiness +103 Offense +14 Defense +18 Luck +3 Charisma +3 | Log in to see images!465,375 | SHINOBIPANDA | FSW | 08/16/2009 | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Douché & Golddigger G69s | Max Sexiness +480 Offense +10 Defense +13 Charisma +20 | Log in to see images!349,000 | Asuka424 | Asuka424 | 08/18/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Bachelor of Liberal Arts Degree | Max Ego +13 | Log in to see images!525 | male reproductive organ Tardfart | ****tard | 08/20/2009 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Coconut Bra | Max Sexiness +224 Offense +4 Defense +4 Luck +6 Charisma +6 | Log in to see images!624,250 | wtfmcnuggets | Re dei sepolcri | 08/22/2009 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Black Light Tattoo | Max Tears +256 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!632,125 | The Spanker | Henry Chinaski | 08/24/2009 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Railroad Spike | Max Tears +321 Offense +10 Defense +7 | Log in to see images!424,500 | mterek | Shiroi Hime | 08/26/2009 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! Graphing Calculator | Max Ego +13 | Log in to see images!525 | mterek | Ger-Man | 08/28/2009 | |
| Books | Log in to see images! Anne Frank’s Diary | Max Ego +2 Max Douchebaggery +37 Max Tears +23 Defense +5 Luck +1 Charisma +5 | Log in to see images!482,625 | Switzerland | Milovana_great timeshardy | 08/30/2009 | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Ultra High Heels | Max Sexiness +43 Offense +5 Defense +1 | Log in to see images!3,485 | ghax | mterek | 09/01/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Non-Porn Blocker | Max Sexiness +16 Max Processing Power +24 Offense +6 Defense +5 Luck +3 | Log in to see images!91,669 | naughty-mayhem | EvilHom3r | 09/03/2009 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! The Corset of Quantum Uncertainty | Max Sexiness +292 Offense +7 | Log in to see images!1,012,000 | burningpopsicles | mterek | 09/05/2009 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Frankenstein's Neck Bolts | Max Tears +597 Offense +19 Charisma +2 | mterek | Swine | 09/07/2009 | ||
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Oversized Monocle | Max Sexiness +1050 Offense +10 Defense +10 Max Douchebaggery +1050 | Swine | harley-mcgee | 09/08/2009 | ||
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Gore-Lieberman ‘00 | Max Tears +459 Offense +12 Defense +12 | mterek | mterek | 09/10/2009 | ||
| Books | Log in to see images! Troll Eggs and Spam | Offense +6 Defense +6 Luck +10 | Log in to see images!524,000 | mterek | mterek | 09/12/2009 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! Kommodore K64 | Max Ego +115 | Aldo_Anything | wtfmcnuggets | 09/14/2009 | ||
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Borkenstock™ Sandals | Max Sexiness +150 Defense +10 | Log in to see images!21,740,000 | wtfmcnuggets | man-man | 09/16/2009 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Finger Web Piercings | Max Tears +386 | Shii | Asuka424 | 09/18/2009 | ||
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Portable Hadron Collider | Max Ego +115 | mterek | man-man | 09/20/2009 | ||
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! ViewMaster Goggles | Offense +14 Defense Max Douchebaggery +450 | Afterthotz | man-man | 09/22/2009 | ||
| Books | Log in to see images! Wikipedia Print Edition | Max Sexiness +125 Luck +12 | Log in to see images! 09/24/2009 | ||||
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Utility Belt | Fortunato | Afterthotz | 09/26/2009 | |||
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Auto INCIT Spamming Script | Max Douchebaggery +500 Offense +11 Defense +11 | petkeeper18 | Ricket | 09/28/2009 | ||
| Special Items | Log in to see images! List of Emergency Numbers | Max Ego +117 Offense +7 Defense +8 Luck +7 | Log in to see images!579,000 | Afterthotz | JayZJay | 09/30/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! 4-D Rubik's Cube | Max Ego +200 Charisma +38 Offense +15 Defense +15 Luck +12 | Log in to see images!19,542,000 | mterek | man-man | 10/02/2009 | |
| Fetishes | Log in to see images! MC Banhammer Memorial Life-Size Love Doll | Max Douchebaggery +992 Defense +58 Offense +18 | Ricket | Nicco | 10/04/2009 | ||
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Cement High Heels | Max Sexiness +131 Offence +9 Defense +9 Luck +9 | Log in to see images!14,762,000 | Ricket | Bragzor | 10/06/2009 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Booby Trap | Max Sexiness +500 Defense +14 | Log in to see images!21,745,000 | MC Banhammer | mterek | 10/08/2009 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! 120” Spectacular™ LCD Monitor | Defense +28 Offense +28 Luck +19 Max Processing Power +188 | Log in to see images!17,079,000 | JayZJay | Inertia | 10/10/2009 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Unidentifiable Anime Character | Max Tears +516 Offense +14 Defense +14 | Log in to see images!20,355,000 | Jubbles | quantumenergy | 10/12/2009 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! Crime Lab Computer (As Seen On TV!) | Max Ego +75 | Ricket | iSecksMachine | 10/14/2009 | ||
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! John Lennon’s Burial Glbumes | Max Ego +63 | handofg0d | mterek | 10/16/2009 | ||
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Soulstone of a Prime Evil | Max Tears +456 Offense +14 Defense +13 | Aldo_Anything | Ladee | 10/18/2009 | ||
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Their Shoes | Max Sexiness +113 Offense+8 Defense +8 Luck +8 | Log in to see images!3,510,000 | petkeeper18 | Ger-Man | 10/20/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Certificate to Your Own Star | Max Ego +400 | Kittysan | 10/22/2009 | |||
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Baby’s First Bra™ | Max Sexiness +389 Offense +9 Charisma +11 | Log in to see images!4,341,000 | SoronTheBeast | FunJelly8 | 10/24/2009 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! HAL Operating System | Max Processing Power +110 | Joseph of Suburbia | Afterthotz | 10/26/2009 | ||
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Evil Trout’s soul | Max Ego +1 | Log in to see images!99,999,999 | FunJelly8 | Afterthotz | 10/28/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Protivate™ | Sarcasm Inc | 10/30/2009 | ||||
| Books | Log in to see images! First 3 million decimals of Pi | Godly Kitteh | 11/01/2009 | ||||
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Demon Horns | Max Tears +685 Offense +22 Charisma +4 | SoronTheBeast | Saturn12 | 11/03/2009 | ||
| Shoes | Log in to see images! **** Me™ Sneakers | Max Sexiness +77 Offense+5 Defence +5 | Log in to see images!12,809 | SoronTheBeast | Afterthotz | 11/05/2009 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! Xenuware Computer | Max Ego +150 | petkeeper18 | 11/08/2009 | |||
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Antichrist™ Scleral lenses | Max Douchebaggery +250 | FunJelly8 | FunJelly8 | 11/10/2009 | ||
| Fetishes | Log in to see images! Real Snuff Video | Max Douchebaggery +680 Defense +40 | Dunatis | jixmas | 11/12/2009 | ||
| Books | Log in to see images! My Very First™ Book of Internet Memes | Afterthotz | Conny_Dachs | 11/14/2009 | |||
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Hello Klitty™ Bandages | Max Sexiness +260 Charisma +7 Luck +7 Defense +7 | Log in to see images!875,000 | TehJennz | Techno_Viking | 11/16/2009 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Crocodile spine. | Max Tears +640 Offense +19 Charisma +2 | Kyouchou Budgie | 11/18/2009 | |||
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Plum™ iSpy™ | Offense +20 Defense +20 | ms-karen | coolerderek | 11/20/2009 | ||
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Double Monocles | Offense +7 Charisma +7 Max Douchebaggery +350 | Master_Troll | Afterthotz | 11/22/2009 | ||
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Super Pretendo Entertainment System | Master_Troll | 11/24/2009 | ||||
| Computers | Log in to see images! Victorian SteamPlum™ | Max Ego +90 | scully | Afterthotz | 11/26/2009 | ||
| Shoes | Coin Slot Stripper Shoes | Max Sexiness +128 Offense +9 Defense +8 Luck +8 | Log in to see images!10,781 | LeCru | Aldo_Anything | 11/28/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! The Toilet Desk Chair | Parlok | 11/30/2009 | ||||
| Special Items | Log in to see images! 100 Power Stars | Ego +225 Defense +9 | SoronTheBeast | Afterthotz | 12/02/2009 | ||
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! See-through bra | Max Sexiness +600 Defense +16 | Log in to see images!26,685,000 | quangntenemy | Little-Rena | 12/04/2009 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Testicle Studs | Max Tears +470 Offense +14 Defense +14 | d4 | Drakodan | 12/06/2009 | ||
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Night Vision Goggles | Max Douchebaggery +200 | Parlok | Phanto | 12/08/2009 | ||
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Dad’s Credit Card | Luck +27 | Drakodan | patheticgirl43 | 12/10/2009 | ||
| Computers | Log in to see images! Gigabitz™ Supercomputer | Max Ego +200 | Log in to see images!2,000,000 | Phanto | The Cat Who Walked Through Malls | 12/12/2009 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Summon Circle | Max Tears +300 Defense +8 | Circlejerk | 12/14/2009 | |||
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Mood Lingerie | Max Sexiness +340 Charisma +9 | Log in to see images!480,000 | blacknarwhal | Skeith | 12/16/2009 | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Ancient Chinese Foot Bindings | Max Sexiness +92 Offense +6 Defense +6 Luck +7 | Log in to see images!53,000 | MercWithMouth | MercWithMouth | 12/18/2009 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Cybersex doll | Offense +19 | quangntenemy | Phanto | 12/20/2009 | ||
| Fetishes | Log in to see images! Prom Queen’s Diary | Max Douchebaggery +1050 Defense +61 | Drakodan | Sadew | 12/22/2009 | ||
| Books | Log in to see images! Read The ****ing Manual Manual | Max Processing Power +175 Offense +12 | Heaven | Skeith_ | 12/24/2009 | ||
| Computers | Log in to see images! Evil Trout’s Computer | Max Ego +100 | Log in to see images!500,000 | quangntenemy | Shishu | 12/26/2009 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Network Censorship | Max Sexiness +270 Offense +7 Charisma +7 Luck +3 | Log in to see images!933,000 | Sarcasm Inc | patheticgirl43 | 12/28/2009 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Big Red bumon | Teh Cezar | 12/30/2009 | ||||
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Reverse Cowgirl Boots | Max Sexiness +125 Offense +7 Defence +8 Charisma +3 | Log in to see images!6,938,000 | patheticgirl43 | patheticgirl43 | 01/01/2010 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Low Resolution Tattoo | Max Tears +330 Luck +8 | msg | msg | 01/03/2010 | ||
| Fetishes | Log in to see images! Quadruple Amputee Sex Doll | Max Douchebaggery +800 Defense +47 Offense +14 | msg | Skeith_ | 01/05/2010 | ||
| Books | Log in to see images! Super Sparkle Furry Sailor Princess Heroes Z! | Max Douchebaggery +165 Defense +11 Offense +5 | PUBICDAWG | Vageena Davis | 01/07/2010 | ||
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Eagle™ Eyesight | Defense +12 Charisma +12 Max Douchebaggery +400 | Log in to see images!15,000,000 | JayZJay | man-man | 01/09/2010 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Left Ventricle Piercing | Max Tears +370 Offense +2 Defense +2 | man-man | deathpaint | 01/11/2010 | ||
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Nuclear Missile Launch Codes | Offense +8 Defense +8 Luck +8 | Log in to see images!1,064,000 | msg | My 1337sauce Brings All The Girls to the Yard | 01/22/2010 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Strategically Arranged Video Game Controllers | Log in to see images!1,000,000 | Vageena Davis | 01/24/2010 | |||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Genuine E.T. Atari 2600 Cartridge | Log in to see images!9,000,000 | Mesmerelda | Mictlan | 01/26/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Holographic 1st Edition Base Set Charizard Card | Log in to see images!1,542,500 | Pally | Mictlan | 01/28/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! 1 Acre of Land on the Moon | Log in to see images!6,000,000 | Dunatis | Kim Tae Yeon | 01/30/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Majority Stock in SEGA | Log in to see images!6,000,000 | Master_Troll | msg | 02/01/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien | Log in to see images!4,500,000 | Shishu | Skeith_ | 02/03/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Dehydrated Water | Log in to see images!4,500,000 | Judge-Bot 3000 | Jubbles | 02/05/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! American Health Insurance Policy | Log in to see images!7,500,000 | Dunatis | dobnits | 02/07/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Mysteriously Glowing Briefcase | Log in to see images!7,500,000 | blacknarwhal | Afterthotz | 02/09/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Space Station | Log in to see images!3,750,000 | Spamtom Menace | man-man | 02/11/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Helen Keller’s Ultimate Guide to Seeing | Log in to see images!3,750,000 | TheMatty | Xx-EmO_4_LiFe-xX | 02/13/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! US Congressman | Log in to see images!8,250,000 | Orlie | mterek | 02/15/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Stack of Old College Textbooks | Log in to see images!8,250,000 | Orlie | bisu | 02/17/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! 1992 Toyota Camry | Log in to see images!2,271,000 | GrimKiller46 | The End | 02/19/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Abandoned World Of Whorecraft Account | Log in to see images!5,250,000 | The End | msg | 02/21/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Africa | Log in to see images!6,750,000 | Nichael Bluth | Ger-Man | 02/23/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Battlethreadz Orange | Log in to see images!3,010,500 | petkeeper18 | Aldo_Anything | 02/25/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Expired Nerve Gas | Log in to see images!806,250 | Doc_Holliday | Adamanthar | 02/27/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Phone Book of Cthulu | Log in to see images!813,500 | Mistergumby | Malliott | 03/01/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Complex Web Spider | Log in to see images!5,625,000 | Wisefox | Adamanthar | 03/03/2010 | ||
| Useless Junk | Log in to see images! Poseidon’s Trident | Log in to see images!5,625,000 | hoosahokie | valka | 03/05/2010 | ||
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Ron Paul 2008 Tattoo | Max Tears +439 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!11,397,000 | HuGGleS4EVerYoNE | Game Over | 03/07/2010 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! IllegalAlien Ware | Max Ego +131 | Log in to see images!1,250,000 | Shishu | Game Over | 03/09/2010 | |
| Accessories | Log in to see images! Divorce Papers | Max Tears +566 Defense +8 Luck +2 | Log in to see images!10,999,500 | OrsonScottCard | Dayviid | 03/11/2010 | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Knee-High Leather Boots | Max Sexiness +131 Offense +9 Defense +9 Luck +9 | Log in to see images!11,965,000 | Hortun | The End | 03/13/2010 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Direct Portal To The Internet | Max Processing Power +77 Offense +13 | Log in to see images!7,336,500 | Furry Porn | Furry Porn | 03/15/2010 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Chastity Belt | Max Sexiness +576 Defense +15 | Log in to see images!22,686,000 | Kittysan | OrsonScottCard | 03/17/2010 | |
| Fetishes | Log in to see images! Original “Lord of the Flies” Film From 1963 | Max Douchebaggery +1018 Defense +60 | Log in to see images!12,838,500 | Kittysan | The End | 03/19/2010 | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Cyclops’ Visor | Max Sexiness +529 Max Douchebaggery +353 Offense +9 Charisma +9 | Log in to see images!10,429,500 | Kim Tae Yeon | OrsonScottCard | 03/21/2010 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Batman’s Utility Belt | Max Ego +95 Offense +8 Defense +8 Luck +6 Charisma +19 | Log in to see images!59,770,500 | SpunkyJunk | JayZJay | 03/23/2010 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Crucifix Nails | Max Tears +605 Offense +19 Defense +8 Charisma +1 | Log in to see images!7,342,000 | male reproductive organmale reproductive organmale reproductive organmale reproductive organ | JayZJay | 03/25/2010 | |
| Books | Log in to see images! “SHOW IT TO ME — How to CamWhore” By Britney14 | Max Sexiness +78 Max Processing Power +87 Offense +8 Luck +2 Charisma +10 | Log in to see images!15,169,500 | Hot Pho | JayZJay | 03/27/2010 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Edible Lingerie | Max Sexiness +291 Defense +8 | Log in to see images!11,843,000 | Kittysan | Game Over | 03/29/2010 | |
| Accessories | Log in to see images! Completely Realistic Fake Suicide Scars | Max Tears +527 Defense +8 Luck +1 | Log in to see images!7,950,750 | Hot Pho | Hot Pho | 03/31/2010 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! The Amazing Stallion™ | Max Sexiness +77 Offense +6 Defense +5 Luck +5 | Log in to see images!5,986,235 | predictable ricket | King Jazza | 04/02/2010 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Hack Pack | Max Processing Power +53 Offense +13 Defense +6 Luck +4 | Log in to see images!3,762,375 | pr0n5t4r | pr0n5t4r | 04/04/2010 | |
| Fetishes | Log in to see images! A Girl’s Phone Number | Max Douchebaggery +796 Offense +6 Defense +41 | Log in to see images!6,772,250 | The Spanker | Gearb0x | 04/06/2010 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Desktop Tesla Coil | Max Processing Power +49 Offense +13 Defense +6 Luck +4 | Log in to see images!3,762,375 | OrsonScottCard | Joseph of Suburbia | 04/08/2010 | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! **** Me Heels | Max Sexiness +80 Offense +6 Defense +5 Luck +5 | Log in to see images!5,986,235 | BrightSun | nothaxlol | 04/10/2010 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! talking computer | Max Ego +93 | Log in to see images!627,125 | hiPpieFOOT22 | rawlt | 04/12/2010 | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Anime Eyes Glbumes | Max Sexiness +521 Max Douchebaggery +178 Offense +13 Defense +6 Charisma +16 | Log in to see images!5,449,750 | Kittysan | iostiogic | 04/14/2010 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Expressive Anal Piercing | Max Tears +301 Offense +10 Defense +4 Charisma +1 | Log in to see images!3,909,750 | Sarcasm Inc | Gearb0x | 04/16/2010 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Prison Tear | Max Tears +344 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!6,066,000 | Unusual Pie | Mottleyparasite | 04/18/2010 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Your Mom | Max Ego +47 Max Sexiness +39 Offense +7 Defense +7 Luck +6 Charisma +10 | Log in to see images!32,878,368 | JayZJay | Gearb0x | 04/20/2010 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Glow-in-the-Dark Keyboard | Max Processing Power +35 Offense +13 Defense +9 Luck +6 | Log in to see images!1,975,313 | BrightSun | Mottleyparasite | 04/22/2010 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Pedobear Costume | Max Douchebaggery +710 Offense +9 Defense +34 | Log in to see images!3,739,125 | OrsonScottCard | The End | 04/24/2010 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! male reproductive organshot Elite System | Max Ego +74 | Log in to see images!315,687 | dark-chaos | xxEmoxKidxx | 04/26/2010 | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Monocle | Max Douchebaggery +424 Offense +7 Defense +6 Charisma +13 | Log in to see images!17,683,500 | Unusual Pie | xxEmoxKidxx | 04/28/2010 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Easy-Off Brbumiere | Max Sexiness +141 Defense +4 | Log in to see images!6,421,500 | The Spanker | Unusual Pie | 04/30/2010 | |
| Books | Log in to see images! Primo™ Official BattleThreadz Strategy Guide | Max Sexiness +39 Max Douchebaggery +20 Max Tears +13 Max Processing Power +41 Offense +4 Defense +3 Luck +1 Charisma +8 | Log in to see images!7,837,750 | Kittysan | Ricket | 05/02/2010 | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Pure Diamond High Heels | Max Sexiness +53 Offense +5 Defense +3 Luck +3 | Log in to see images!2,996,853 | petkeeper18 | Myndraine | 05/04/2010 | |
| Accessories | Log in to see images! Your Childhood Diary | Max Tears +596 Defense +8 Luck +3 | Log in to see images!14,048,250 | Kittysan | The End | 05/06/2010 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Bullet Hole | Max Tears +587 Offense +10 Charisma +1 | Log in to see images!12,238,500 | GunpowderPlotter | Unusual Pie | 05/08/2010 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! PAL 9000 | Max Ego +114 | Log in to see images!938,563 | Jelloarm | BLACKENSTEIN | 05/10/2010 | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Himmler’s Spectacles | Max Sexiness +253 Max Douchebaggery +382 Offense +8 Defense +3 Charisma +11 | Log in to see images!14,056,500 | BLACKENSTEIN | YiffInHell2 | 05/12/2010 | |
| Fetishes | Log in to see images! John Wayne Gacy’s Clown Mask | Max Douchebaggery +697 Offense +9 Defense +37 | Log in to see images!3,739,125 | YiffInHell2 | Unusual Pie | 05/14/2010 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Suicide note tattoo | Max Tears +300 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!3,401,625 | MitchZer0 | Priapism | 05/16/2010 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Gold Statue of Yourself | Max Ego +51 Offense +4 Defense +4 Luck +3 Charisma +10 | Log in to see images!79,884,750 | Kittysan | Dielenol | 05/18/2010 | |
| Books | Log in to see images! Jalapeno Bootyhole’s Memoirs | Max Sexiness +20 Max Douchebaggery +31 Max Tears +19 Max Processing Power +23 Offense +2 Defense +4 Luck +1 Charisma +7 | Log in to see images!4,171,875 | Frank Drebin | genericusr | 05/20/2010 | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Moon Boots | Max Sexiness +109 Offense +8 Defense +7 Luck +7 | Log in to see images!8,975,618 | GOLDENSAUSAGE | Grave Robber | 05/22/2010 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! DVD Incinerator | Max Processing Power +62 Offense +13 Defense +3 Luck +2 | Log in to see images!5,549,438 | blacknarwhal | AliciaDeLuna | 05/24/2010 | |
| Accessories | Log in to see images! A Crate Full of Tear Gas Grenades | Max Tears +433 Defense +7 | Log in to see images!2,627,500 | Kittysan | Rage Face | 05/26/2010 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Golden Corset | Max Sexiness +422 Defense +12 | Log in to see images!17,264,500 | genericusr | Jonny Lee Miller | 05/28/2010 | |
| Special Items | Log in to see images! Cute Little Kitten | Max Ego +26 Max Sexiness +60 Offense +7 Defense +6 Luck +6 Charisma +5 | Log in to see images!19,432,302 | YiffInHell2 | ForeverJung | 05/30/2010 | |
| Tattoos | Log in to see images! Schindler’s List | Max Tears +372 Offense +6 Defense +6 | Log in to see images!8,731,875 | AIDS woman's genitals | Jgke | 06/01/2010 | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Naughty™ Secretary Glbumes | Max Sexiness +540 Max Douchebaggery +88 Offense +15 Defense +9 Charisma +19 | Log in to see images!2,959,875 | JayZJay | JayZJay | 06/03/2010 | |
| Shoes | Log in to see images! Eva Braun’s Nazi Jackboots | Max Sexiness +41 Offense +4 Defense +2 Luck +2 | Log in to see images!1,502,162 | YiffInHell2 | Jgke | 06/05/2010 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Vlad the Impaler’s Stake | Max Tears +596 Offense +15 Defense +4 Charisma +1 | Log in to see images!9,790,250 | YiffInHell2 | YiffInHell2 | 06/07/2010 | |
| Fetishes | Log in to see images! Your Mom’s Sex Tape | Max Douchebaggery +944 Offense +3 Defense +48 | Log in to see images!9,805,375 | JayZJay | JayZJay | 06/09/2010 | |
| Accessories | Log in to see images! Dead Pet Dog’s Collar | Max Tears +485 Defense +8 Luck +1 | Log in to see images!5,289,125 | YiffInHell2 | YouAreWin | 06/11/2010 | |
| Computers | Log in to see images! Internet Hate Machine | Max Ego +181 | Log in to see images!1,750,000 | YiffInHell2 | genericusr | 06/13/2010 | |
| Glbumes | Log in to see images! Do-It-Yourself Contact Lens Kit | Max Sexiness +499 Max Douchebaggery +267 Offense +11 Defense +3 Charisma +13 | Log in to see images!7,939,625 | Davin Valkri | Unusual Pie | 06/16/2010 | |
| Lingerie | Log in to see images! Skimpy Breastplate | Max Sexiness +67 Defense +2 | Log in to see images!3,710,750 | Ninjastic | The End | 06/18/2010 | |
| Hardware | Log in to see images! Experimental One-Petabyte External Hard Drive | Offense +10 Defense +22 | Log in to see images!12,415,000 | Davin Valkri | Chuck Diesel | 06/20/2010 | |
| Piercings | Log in to see images! Arterial Plug | Max Tears +151 Offense +5 Defense +2 Charisma +1 | Log in to see images!2,193,625 | Fogdiver | The End | 06/22/2010 |
List of Gift Items
| Image | Name | Description | Clbum | Approximate flezz value |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Log in to see images! Chinese Takeaway | These crispy noodles are six months old, but you’d never know it due to the extremely high amount of MSG; not only is it a great preservative, but it’s also a powerful deliciousizer. | ? | 1 | |
| Log in to see images! Marble | Lost your marbles? Here’s one. Also works as a poor man’s anal bead. | ? | 1 | |
| Log in to see images! Dishwashing Brush | Hey, when it comes time to start scrubbing ‘tween yo momma’s fleshy flab-folds, this wiry brush will really get those bedsores, um…somewhat less festering? | ? | 1 | |
| Log in to see images! Raffle Ticket | Each ticket you purchase gives you a chance to win the Christmas raffle. | ? | 1 | |
| Log in to see images! Toy Eyeball | Absolutely ****ing useless. | ? | 2 | |
| Log in to see images! Ironic Egg Timer | There’s something inherently disturbing about a chicken going out of its way to remind you that its unborn fetus is about to become breakfast. Will there be a pleasant chime when your baby dies? | ? | 2 | |
| Log in to see images! Retro Calendar | The flipping mechanism on this calendar is broken, but don’t let that stop you from placing it prominently in your living area. Hey…at least it’s right once a month. | ? | 3 | |
| Log in to see images! Vinyl Record | This novelty record from the early ‘60s is by an obscure singer by the name of “Tubbs Parcheesi” who began a dance craze called “The Sitdown.” The song finally cracked the Billboard 1000 after he choked to death on a peanut bumer ‘n kielbasa sandwich. | ? | 3 | |
| Log in to see images! Tomato Soup Can | The educational system in California has really gone downhill in the last few years…. | ? | 4 | |
| Log in to see images! Birdhouse | Attract soothing songbirds and, occasionally, a homeless man’s smegma. | ? | 4 | |
| Log in to see images! Rusty Old Kettle | This is a magical pixie kettle. If you rub it just right, absolutely nothing will happen, because magic doesn’t exist, you superstitious male reproductive organhead. | ? | 5 | |
| Log in to see images! Pirate Flag | There’s no subtler way to sneak up on an unsuspecting sea vessel than to hoist this menacing skull-and-crossbones on your ship’s jigger-mast. Yaargh. | ? | 6 | |
| Log in to see images! Approxim-o™ Knife | This unpopular cousin of the famous utility knife makes a great toy for children and pets. | ? | 6 | |
| Log in to see images! Used Asthma Inhaler | A homeless person once used this as a crack pipe, so not only will you catch your breath, but you’ll also catch a wicked buzz! Note: Do not touch to mouth. | ? | 7 | |
| Log in to see images! Remote Control | This remote control is held together with scotch tape, elastic bands and sheer desperation. | ? | 8 | |
| Log in to see images! Rubber Chicken | This has a panoply of uses, including: beating cripples over the head; luring children to your house or shanty; and, of course, masturbating. | ? | 8-9 | |
| Log in to see images! Dried-Out Cheese | This wedge of cheese is just big enough to fit into the average American hamburger. Bon appetit, fatso! | ? | 9 | |
| Log in to see images! “Magic” Mushroom | This mushroom is not actually “magic.” It simply contains a small amount of poison that causes you to hallucinate…right before you die. Caution: May contain a family of Smurfs. | ? | 10 | |
| Box of Internal Mystery * | What’s in the box? WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!? WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!?!? | ? | 10 | |
| Log in to see images! Abandoned Tire | Someone’s horrendous accident is now your windfall! Enjoy, you heartless monster! | ? | 11 | |
| Log in to see images!A full spamming suite that includes email crawling, a fake “remove me” option and a database of 5,000 different ways to spell Viagrow. | ? | 12 | ||
| Log in to see images!Yes, we realize that African-Americans sometimes call each other “dawg,” but that doesn’t count. | ? | 12 | ||
| Log in to see images! Expired Ground Pork | Although this may look like maggots, this is actually ground pork. The maggots are underneath. | ? | 12-13 | |
| Log in to see images! Human Skull | This decomposed human head doesn’t do anything for you, but there’s probably some Wiccan out there who would like to stick a candle in its eye sockets, then leave it on their desk as a reminder of how badbum they really are. | ? | 15 | |
| Log in to see images! Mix Tape of Novelty Songs, Awful Covers and ‘80s TV Theme Songs | Pop this antiquated mixtape into your cbumette player when you really need to rock out with your male reproductive organ out. Sixteen hatingly selected tunes that’s sure to bring out anyone’s inner douchebag. | Troll | 17-18 | |
| Log in to see images! Anvil | With this anvil, you have the potential to become the best “Black Smith” since The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Yo homes, smell ya later! | ? | 20-21 | |
| Log in to see images! Fish Head | Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads. Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, man them ****s is delicious. Aw yee. | ? | 25-26 | |
| Log in to see images! IP Privately™* | Can’t IP in public? Use this masking program to mask your identity when surfing. Now you can launch all the hack attacks you want and download the most inappropriate porn your hard drive can handle, and the feds will be none the wiser! | Hacker(?) | 35 | |
| Log in to see images! Genuine Asimov™ OS IX | OS IX is the latest release of the Asimov Operating System™ for Asimov™ Super Computers. New features in OS IX include:
Support for Keyboards and Mice:* You may now use the latest in computer inputting technology to communicate with Asimov OS. Deleting of files:* Tired of buying new hard drives every time your old one filled up with junk? Throw those worries away with our new and novel file deleting commands! Digital Rights Management:* Sleep well at night knowing that the copy of the software you purchased is actually owned by you, and that the profits of the Asimov Corporation™ are safe! Very rarely causes your computer to burst into flames* | ? | 42-43 | |
| Log in to see images! Children’s Playhouse Kit | This fun playhouse has been pre-bumembled for your convenience. Just add chains, padlocks and a hornet’s nest! | ? | 50-53 | |
| Log in to see images! Empty Gas Pump | For fun, turn this into a homemade colonic irrigation system. Just fill it with lukewarm coffee and you can become the next Tubgirl! | ? | 75-79 | |
| Log in to see images! McBuggy Anti-Anti Virus™ | Is anti-virus software getting in your way constantly? Do you hate feeling protected and safe? If so, McBuggy Anti-Anti Virus™ is the software for you! Simply install this software, and like magic your anti-virus software will go away. Say goodbye to a life free of infection! Say hello to McBuggy. | ? | 151-159 | |
| Log in to see images! Bicycle | They say that bicycles are the most efficient form of transportation. We say, ever try to **** a chick on the backseat of a bicycle? That’s what we thought, fabulous persongitron. | ? | 252-265 | |
| Log in to see images! Buy This Book: The Complete Guide to Buying this Book | Alternate title: “How to Con Someone Out of a Thousand Dollars.” | ? | 505-530 | |
| Log in to see images! Motherboard | Your motherboard? I’d **** her. | ? | 757-795 | |
| Log in to see images! Deed to Indian Burial Ground | This is an old deed for a parcel of land currently inhabited by the ghosts of 1,000 dead Crow Indians. Perfect for setting up your mini-golf course or dream (nightmare?) home. | ? | 1515-1590 | |
| Log in to see images! Electric Transportation Device | This marvel of human engineering uses six gyroscopic sensors to make you look like the biggest douchebag on the police force stuck on the “convention center beat.” Easily chase down crooks (as long as they stay away from stairs). | ? | 2317-2385 | |
| Log in to see images! Sexual Relations With That Woman | It’s the closest thing you’ll ever come to ****ing Bill Clinton…even if your name happens to be Hillary Clinton! She’ll let you stick a cigar in her twat, and will even perform analingus on you while calling you “Mither Prethiden.” | ? | 2822 | |
| Log in to see images! Constitution of India | We know this sounds racist, but this literally does include the right to smell a helluva lot like curry at all times. Don’t believe us? Check out its Wikipedia history: revision as of 12:52, 14 October 2007. | ? | 2954-3012 | |
| Log in to see images! Jew’s Harp | This ancient mouth instrument produces a highly unusual twanging sound, and has no actual relationship with the Jewish people other than the fact it is highly overpriced and will only marry other Jew’s Harps. See JHarpDate.com. | ? | 3030-3180 | |
| Log in to see images! Pipe Organ | It’s the only musical instrument whose name consists of two euphemisms for the male reproductive organ, and that alone makes it valuable. Also useful for seducing nuns and choirboys. | ? | 3975 | |
| Log in to see images! Pocket Watch | Why wear a watch on your wrist like a normal person, when you could be pompous and carry it around on a chain in your vest pocket? As for its handy chain, if you ever get it stuck up your bum—and let’s face it, who hasn’t—you can just yank it back out like a rusty, ****-covered tampon. Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’. | ? | 4294 | |
| Log in to see images! Justin Timberlake's Mobile Phone | Even though he sings like a homo, this guy actually gets more celebrity tail than Ol’ Blue Eyes did, back before he needed ol’ blue pills. Hell, he even ****ed Britney Spears back when she was hot and was smart enough to run out before she went all fat, bald and floppy-snatch’d.
You can call up pretty much any young starlet and when they see the caller ID, they’ll be flying out to **** you before you can say “great times Me a River.” | ? | 4500-4664 | |
| Log in to see images! Mary Magdalene | This is a nude depiction of Mary Magdalene, the only woman fortunate enough to have had anointed Jesus’ flesh-flute with that sweet little mouth of hers. She claimed his semen tasted “pretty normal,” but then again she was a huge whore, wasn’t she? Historians are uncertain as to whether she also juggled his Easter eggs while she penetrated his holy ****hole with her leprous pinkie. I'd so hit that. | ? | 5050-5300 | |
| Log in to see images! Middle School Art Project | This misshapen abomination from the bowels of art clbum is proof that not all children are special. | ? | ~6,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Seasonal Centerpiece | This is a slightly used centerpiece celebrating the autumn harvest. It reminds you of all the artsy crap your Aunt Charlotte used to make after she found out your Uncle male reproductive organ was leaving her for the poolboy. She had so much love to give… | ? | ~7,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Pearl Necklace Necklace | Made from globules of human semen, this is meant to increase a Camwhore’s Sexiness when equipped. Unfortunately, its powers dried up in after about three minutes. It’s a pheromone thing. | ? | ~14,000 | |
| Log in to see images! ****in' Pimp Hat | Regardless of how awesome this hat is, no, you will NEVER be a pimp, and yes, you’re still ugly. Sweet hat, though. | ? | 21,937 | |
| Log in to see images! Tome of Blasphemous Horrors | This book is said to contain secrets that man should never know — tales of eldritch terrors beyond comprehension and non-Euclidean geometry. Merely touching it is supposed to drive a man insane.
Kind of unimpressive compared to goatse, though. | ? | ~22,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Mixed CD from an Ex | A mixed CD made by someone’s ex. This is only good for microwave light shows; all exes have terrible taste in music. That’s part of the reason they’re exes. | ? | ~24,500 | |
| Log in to see images! Superi-Os™ | Every box of Boast™ brand Superi-Os™ is composed of 90% vanilla pieces and only 10% “chocolate,” ensuring that those ugly, disgusting brown pieces are segregated to their proper place in your bowl. Boast™: economic food products for the white supremacist power structure. | ? | ~25,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Yellowed Pirate Shirt | This yellowed shirt has some of the fanciest sleeves you’ve ever set your one good eye on. Perfect if you ever want to masquerade as a gay pirate! (And you do. You really do.) | ? | ~26,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Used Credit Cards | While these cards are almost certainly canceled or overdrawn, you can still use them to pick locks, just like in the movies — if you ever did anything as exciting as lock-picking, that is. If you’re lucky, they may still have trace amounts of cocaine! | ? | ~27,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Wolf Shirt | It’s a shirt with a wolf on it. Your diabetic, 1/16th Navajo neighbor wears one each day of the week. Still ****ing epic, though. I mean, look at it. | ? | ~28,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Roll of Toilet Paper | Whether it’s used for wiping your bum, clogging up a drain or TPing someone’s house, toilet paper is just plain awesome. And when you’re done using the paper you can pretend you have a cardboard spyglbum!
This particular roll consists of the nice soft kind of ****paper — not the gray, recycled, scrape-your-bum-lining stuff. | ? | ~30,000 | |
| Log in to see images! The Pleasure Bag™ | When ****ing with the lights off is out of the question, reach for your trusty Pleasure Bag™!
Can also be used to crudely conceal the identity of local rapists, i.e., you. | ? | ~30,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Satanic Fish | Here is wisdom. Let he that hath understanding count the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man; and his number is six hundred threescore and six. — Rev 13:18 | ? | ~30,100 | |
| Log in to see images! Suntan Lotion | It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the sunburn again! | ? | 31,556 | |
| Log in to see images! Buddha Statue | Buddha proves that you don’t have to be all skinny and tortured in order to be worshiped. You can be fat and happy, and still have plenty of followers! This bronze Buddha statue is sure to bring serenity to any home, and it’s the perfect way of showing just how open-minded and enlightened you are…unless it’s one of those Buddha statues with a swastika on it. | ? | 31,776 | |
| Log in to see images! Dismantled Video Game | These are the sad remains of what can only be a failed attempt to hack a clbumic video game for a top score. | ? | 34,576 | |
| Log in to see images! Lump of Used Copper Wire | Copper wire is a staple of DIY projects, such gauss guns or home abortion kits. | ? | ~35,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Laundry Cat | This cat has been specially trained to fold your laundry. Too bad all it really does is sleep throughout the whole day and shed all over your clean clothes. But this is probably the only woman's genitals you’ll ever get, so you might as well take it. | ? | ~38,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Autographed Jimmy Carter Photo | It’s signed “For all the [something] at [something] [something] — Jimmy.” You’re not sure which is sadder: that such a great man has such lousy handwriting, or that if you post this on the internet, someone will bumuredly masturbate to it. | ? | ~39,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Wooden Figurine | Man, I’d sacrifice a few ribs to be able to do that too. | ? | ~40,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Brolex Watch | Feel like ballin’, but ain’t got ‘nuff ice on yo’ wrist? Have no fear, playa. The Brolex is so icy cold, foolz gotta wear a coat! Yo’ homiez will be puttin’ on them SHADES when they see how shiny this bling be. DISCLAIMA: The Brolex may cause envy among er’y nug on tha block, so best carry a piece. Fool. | ? | ~40,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Stack Of Burnt DVD's | “Yarr, mp3s off the port bow! Stand by ta board yeoldepiratebay.org fer sum lootin’ an’ plunderin’!” More stolen data than you can shake a hard drive at, this’ll keep you entertained for YEARS. Now, which disc has the granny porn, asks I? | ? | ~23,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Actual Garbage | This wastebasket is full of the vile refuse of a typical internet nerd. In other words, semen.
Perfect for collecting cloning, identity theft, or just harvesting biombum for all your biological warfare needs. | ? | ~20,000 | |
| Log in to see images! AOL CD Mosaic | This second-place award-winning mosaic of one giant AOL CD, comprised of 30,000 individual AOL CDs, will take your breath away. This-one-of-a-kind item is priceless. Literally. The CDs were free. | ? | ~22,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Disgusting Clump of Hair | Wet, smelly, and stuck together with mold. At least, you think it’s mold…oh dear god. | ? | ~45,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Grandma’s Cat Purse | She sent it to you for Christmas, and didn’t even leave a forgotten penny floating around in there. She did pre-coat it with cat fur, though. Just hold on to it until next Christmas and re-gift it back to her. There’s no way she’ll remember. | ? | ~45,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Great-Grandpa's Phone | You remember the days before cell phones, when landlines and AT&T ruled the universe? No? Well, that’s okay, my great-grandpa doesn’t remember either. That’s how I got this phone. My gift to you. | ? | ~26,000 | |
| Log in to see images! His and Her Masks | Robbing banks (with the help of a loved one) nets a lot more Flezz than pawning off weird-lookin’ plastic masks at the Ppwn Shoppe. Just sayin’. | ? | ~47,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Sand Castle bumembly Kit | This seems to be a kit comprising everything you need to build a sand castle: a rough sketch of what it should look like, a tiny plastic shovel, a tiny plastic bucket, and about four hundred pounds of sand. Here’s hoping the box doesn’t leak. | ? | ~47,000 | |
| Log in to see images! ASCII Porn | These discs contain a collection of the hottest ASCII porn known to nerdkind! Fapping was never better than in the innocent ‘80s. Now all you need is a floppy drive and a green monochrome monitor. | ? | ~50,000 | |
| Log in to see images! 90's Senior Picture | Although not quite as clbumy as Glamor Shotz™, these ‘90s senior pictures are radical! Get yours holding an electric guitar with a stylish mullet, in your favorite pair of Zubaz pants! Not your style? Then how about putting up a peace sign while wearing your I Zack Morris T-shirt and leggings? Say “cheesy”! | ? | 55,788 | |
| Log in to see images! male reproductive organ Mug | Do you like drinking hot coffee? How about sucking male reproductive organ? Now you can enjoy both at the same time with this male reproductive organ-shaped mug! Sucking male reproductive organ has never been more stimulating! (Okay, it was more stimulating once, but that’s it.) | ? | ~58,000 | |
| Log in to see images! -Courtney Love's Used Underwear | A pair of undergarments that once belonged to “America’s Sweetheart,” Courtney Love. You won these panties in an online auction because they’ve touched “Celebrity Skin” (and Hole), but “All the Drugs” are probably why these things are so “Awful” and “Uncool.” Concerning this underwear, your best bet is to “Use Once and Destroy,” as they technically count as a medical biohazard. | ? | ~59,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Ten Miles of Orange Yarn | Great Halloween decoration! Loads of fun for unsupervised babies and toddlers! | ? | ~30,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Molestache Comb | No one likes hair where it shouldn’t be; especially you, Mr. Molestache wearer! Keep your facial hair under control with this new molestache comb. Roam neighborhood parks without fear of your ‘stache looking all unkempt. Those pesky parents won’t suspect a thing with your well-groomed molestache! | ? | ~60,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Cosplaying Gloves | Left behind at DragonCon ‘07, these gloves carry with them a legacy of whispered legends and flights of fancy. Some say that actual Mark Hamill himself wore these the day before he went on the set of Star Wars for the first time, while others say that they were created late one night by Darren Aronofsky. Realistically? Some 300-pound guy made these for the Ye Olde Renaissance Faire and came inside them. Five times. | ? | ~32,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Toenail Clippings | In WWII, kamikaze pilots would sometimes put a collection of toenail clippings in a box to be buried in the likely event that they didn’t return. These aren’t from a Japanese pilot; they’re just the disgusting toenail clippings from some random filthy miscreant. But it makes for an interesting story, doesn’t it? | ? | ~32,500 | |
| Log in to see images! Discount Furry Mask | Want to yiff in hell, but don’t want to sell your soul to the Devil in exchange for a decent fursuit? This discount mask will get you on the road to anonymous sex with sweaty men in funny animal costumes faster than you can say “paw off.” | ? | ~62,500 | |
| Log in to see images! Leaked Children's Novel | This is a leaked advance copy of the latest book in the popular “Wizard Boy” series. The writing might be overrated, but the sweet tears of children and immature, sexless adults when you spoil the book for them sure won’t be! | ? | ~62,720 | |
| Log in to see images! Gilded Walnut | This gilded walnut is a relic of last year’s (rather gaudy) Christmas decorations.
You feel an inexplicable urge to talk to the walnut. “S’up, nut?” | ? | ~63,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Branding Iron | Oh, burn! Few items out there that can produce this much pain while making you look so damn trendy! Public humiliation is so hot right now. | ? | ~64,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Important-Looking NASA Components | This stuff turned up in the NASA trash bin a few days after the Challenger took off and subsequently exploded. Probably just a coincidence. | ? | ~64,000 | |
| Log in to see images! #1 Dad Mug | This mug clearly indicates that the owner is, in fact, the “number one” Dad. While its shape is perfect for holding liquids of all kinds, the primary function is to notify nearby fathers that they are in the presence of fathering greatness. | ? | ~65,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Deluxe Makeup Kit | This makeup kit is pretty complete. It has everything you need in order to smear yourself with pigments as you stare mournfully into the mirror, thinking about how daddy never thought you were pretty enough. But you’ll show him, won’t you. Won’t you… | ? | ~34,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Child's Drawing | Swiped from a children’s sick ward, it’d be wise to hold onto this one for a while. Everyone knows the value of art SKYROCKETS after the artist croaks. | ? | ~69,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Weeping Blue Orchid | A beautiful little flower, characterized by botanists as the saddest flower on earth. Typically found in dying woodlands after being carried away from its mother plant by the unfeeling winds, it blooms only in the wintertime, growing cold and alone on the sides of hollow tree trunks, naked to the harsh elements that surround it. Go ahead and pick it out of its misery. Maybe even give it to your sweetie-pie for the prom. Because your lover’s chest will be the only ‘tang it’ll be getting in its sorry lifetime. | ? | ~37,000 | |
| Log in to see images! The Color Orange | This is the actual color orange, not the fruit. So don’t confuse the two of them. Orange. It’s not as nice a color as red or purple, but there are worse colors out there. Orange is noticeable and…um…did I mention noticeable yet? | ? | ~36,000 | |
| Log in to see images! The Italian | A false mustache, made of only the finest pubic hair.
Rumored to have been invented by Gianni Versace whilst blowing heterosexual fashion designer Calvin Klein, “The Italian” became an overnight success shortly after his death. Enjoying most of its popularity in Italy, this fashion accessory has been masterfully crafted from the pubes of the most beautiful models and porn stars. Comes in many shades of black, red, and blond; ask a store employee for help on matching it with “the carpet.” | ? | ~38,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Improvised Fleshlight | I know what you’re thinking, but take it easy on the guy who made this. Remember when you were 15 and nobody would buy porn for you? Remember when you were 16 and you started shoving anything you could find up your bum? Remember that time you put a melon in your microwave and tried to **** it? That was only last week, so probably. That being said, this thing is pretty pathetic. Putting your male reproductive organ into this is about as safe as putting into in a running blender. But I guess if it happens to be a Friday, and you just happen to not have a date… | ? | ~39,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Moist Sock | This sock is moist. Have fun with it. I sure did. | ? | 39,031 | |
| Log in to see images! Easter Eggs | OMG EASTER EGGS! | ? | ~39,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Venus de Milo | Considering that this famous statue represents the goddess of love and beauty, she’s actually not as hot as you’d expect! Her mammary glands are small, her hair is too short, she’s got a face that says PMS, her arms are missing and her legs seem kinda fat underneath that sheet she wears.
Perhaps the French adore her because she has no armpit hair. One thing is for sure: they’re pretty ****ed off that their “beautiful” statue is no longer in the Louvre. | ? | ~39,000 | |
| Log in to see images! Falcon Preservation Donor Receipt | This receipt proves that someone was willing to blow a whole wad of cash over some falcons. | Special Items | About 53,000 | |
Special Equipment
| Log in to see images!Max Ego +20 |
Log in to see images!Sticky Ball of Garbage
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Log in to see images!Wireless Headset
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Log in to see images!Complete set of all 7 Dragon Balls
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Log in to see images!Master Ball
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Log in to see images!Death Clock
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Log in to see images!Inactivated Conficker Virus
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Log in to see images!Stripper Pole
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