Attribute | Description
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Alignment | Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader, Batman or Joker, Pepsi or Coke, Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3, choose wisely. (or follow the spoilerific instructions to eventually be found on the Alignment page)
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Charisma | This is the number that decides if you're likable or not (more likable = more gifts). Increases the number of gifts you receive at rollovers. |
Defense | You must have more of this to have unbeatable stamina and resistance to damage, and if you don't... well you'll be sucking concrete after every forum counterattack. Higher defense will also make forums miss more often. Decreases the damage you take from threads, also decreases the chance of you being hit by them. |
Frugality | You want more bang for your buck? Yes? Get this up and sales prices will bend to your will (metaphorically speaking of course). Decreases the price of purchasable items in stores (excluding Ppwn Shoppe purchases), increases the selling price of your items at Ppwn Shoppe. |
Luck | The more of this you have, the more Jesus loves you. It seems to influence how valuable the gifts that random Internet strangers send you are. Surprisingly, making many feel cheated, it does not improve your chances with the Gamble-Bot. It is possible that the random sections of attacks are affected by this. Increases the number of gifts you receive at rollovers. Good for characters that can't stack Charisma. |
Offense | Fill the pwnage meter faster as you dish out the most powerful insults, slander, and plain vulgar rudeness that anyone has seen as you increase this attribute. Increases the damage of your attacks. |
Upkeep | Make your crappy equipment just a little less crappier (which still makes it crappy), because with this your **** won't break down as often (but don't get your hopes up). A few points of Upkeep and you won't be running back to Bruce Bear's after every battle (no homo). Reduces the damage taken by your equipment. |