how to get the girl in 10 easy steps:

step 1. admit it’s a guy

step 2. write a poem about him and the pain it causes you to love him

step 3. listen to a morrisy album while masturbating to the scent of a pair of gym shorts you stole from his locker

step 4. attempt suicide in a way that won’t actually result in your death but will get you some attention (i.e. ‘across the street’Log in to see images!

step 5. make some paintings (oil or acrylic, your choice) of how angry you feel

step 6. get a job at the gap even though you hate how trendy it is

step 7. forget all about that boy because you met Ronni from the gap and he’s openly gay and totally into you

step 8. realize your not gay in the middle of your first make out session with Ronni

step 9. Ronni forcefully sodomizes you anyway, threatens to fire you if you tell

step 10. kill self for reals