I have seen the face of God.

As many of you may know, I have never been one to step down from an internet argument. I thought I was near invincible here, so long as my skills and reputation continued to be the indomitable 1-2 punch they had been for so long.

I am writing this as a ethereal vestige of my former self. I have been slain by the pro poster iIRZ, crushed under the very Log in to see images! that I had so adroitly used to troll CD so many times. I have no excuses, only remorse for having stepped to the wrong cat.

I cannot explain what happened next, but I will tell you that God himself hath sent me back down to earth, so that I may watch over these forums and, by my guiding hand, save them from their almost certain destruction and irrelevance (ok even I can’t help that last one).

Unfortunately, merely existing in this state, much less interacting with solid objects to transmit this message, is a terrible strain on my constitution, and I fear that without the proper anchor I may forever lose the ability to interact with those I have come to love so dearly.

That is why I am asking you, my loyal friends to create for me an avatar that accurately reflects my condition, and what I have been sent here to do.

DO NOT MAKE THIS A JESUS JOKE

The Lord was very clear about that point, so please don’t.

As with anything I do, I encourage trolling. But seriously mods I don’t want any Jesus jokes. Please consider these unwelcome trolling and act appropriately

I’m afraid that, as a non-being, I don’t have much to offer, but the dearest of my friends that provides me the best avatar will be entitled to the rights of my half-finished book “Carebearland: A Guide to ****ing People Off…online” and my moldy stash of 20 Log in to see images! I know it’s not much with the current inflation, but it’s all I have.

My will and resolve will not hold up much longer than Friday, January 18th, so please be swift with your attempts. If I am not adequately anchored here by then I will, by agreement with the ghost union, be forced to act in a terrible made-for-TV hack remake of “A Christmas Carol” starring John Travolta as Scrooge and yours truly as “The Ghost of Christmas Goatse”. Please help me.