Celerysteve Posted:

TBH I was kind of reading some of our old correspondence because I was looking for a particular piece of info I needed to get for something, and honestly dude you sound kind of like a gay little **** on the rag a lot of the time do you need any tampons? Maybe you shouldn’t gay it up so much, I’m just saying.

To be honest, I’m kind of surprised you’d go out of your way to make a post like this.

First off, I’m curious as to just what “particular piece of info” you were looking for that inspired this trip down memory lane. That’s besides the point. I also recently stumbled upon some of our earlier correspondence, from back in the halcyon Falcon****er days. You were polite, responsive and helpful back then — hell, you even used smileys. ****ing smileys, Steve. How could I have known that beneath that benign, happy cartoon avatar hid such a reckless and tortured soul?

You’ll never fathom how much willpower it took to not reproduce your querulous, self-righteous, frankly delusional emails to the rest of the Apprentice team, even after they begged me to share them. I’m not sure what I wrote that made me sound like a “gay little **** on the rag” (am I a gay man or a menstruating woman? nice burn there) but it’s not easy to try to maintain an air of professionalism when you’re being deluged by a nonstop stream of insane bumhurt.

I’m sure all of this will go over your head, so how about I give you a stock answer you’ll understand: I was RPing an emo-moderator.