Chirp, chirp, jail birds! Who’s ready to laugh?


Jesus, guys, you know laughter is the best medicine and given the terminal case you all have, I suggest chuckling!


What’s the deal with prison food?
Last meal? More like last case of diarrhea!
Talk about cruel and unusual punishment, am I right?


My ex-wife is so fat that if she we a basketball, she would be INCREDIBLY hard to pick up!
But somehow, I still managed to shoot her!


I’ve been in jail more than a few times.
Guess I had a better lawyer than you poor schmucks!


So…death row. On the one hand, you get a cell to yourself…
On the other…there’s no one to sodomize!


I miss the good old days of execution: firing squads, hangings, electric chair, and gas chamber.
It’s like, “Hey, if I was going to die by a needle I should’ve just OD’ed on heroin!”
I mean, come on!


Priests sure are annoying, huh?
“As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.”
Hey, I know, Padre, no need to rub it in!


“Will” is a funny word isn’t it?
Well, I guess when you use it in the sense of “this is what I want done” and not the “what I’m going to do” meaning it makes a little more sense…
That joke’s still a work in progress, sorry.


Anybody’s family forsake them when they were put in prison? Anybody? Raise your hand.
What male reproductive organs! I mean, COME ON!
At least you’ll see them in Hell, am I right?
Eternal damnation, never ending suffering!


The other day I was just walking around outside. Didn’t have anywhere specific to go, just walking around. Strolling here, moseying there, all the time in the world!
Uh…
No joke…just wanted to share!


Well, my time’s done here…unlike yours!
Hope those appeals go well, I think I’m going to go to a movie, maybe eat in the restaurant of my choice, maybe just waste some time, cuz let’s face it…I’m going to live forever!
You’ve been great!
The Unknown Comic edited this message on 06/30/2009 11:43PM