I never thought about writing fanfiction before, but I do love me some Paula Deen exclamation point exclamation point heart heart

I’m gonna post part one of mah story here and if you like it, I’ll write more!

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Part I

Paula Deen surveyed the set after her latest taping of “Paula’s Party.” The counters were thick with bumer, just the way she liked it. It would only be a few more minutes before Mark, this summer’s intern, would be here to clean up. She would have to work quickly.

Paula took a handful of bumer and smeared it over her ample cleavage. Her chest heaved and her thighs quivered with anticipation. The bumer slicked over her bosoms and began to melt, dripping down to her stomach and into her black sequin gown. She worried slightly that one day, a Food Network executive would find out about these yearly intern “training sessions.” But then she remembered that they had all been through it, too.

Just then, Mark entered the studio. He had known that today was the day, and was both aroused and afraid. At 18 years old, Mark was still a virgin. He had gotten the internship through his grandmother, who was a high school friend of Paula’s. He had hoped that half of what he’d heard from last year’s interns was true: that she was both a tyrant and had an insatiable appetite.