Fanfic time!

The End of The Internet - Part I

As part of another wonderful contest, AtomicScripter 
has once again come very close to destroying all of the 
internet, and therefore, humanity. Rabid internet users
spam Flamebate with endless nonsense resulting in OVER
9000 posts on a thread no one cares about. Thus, 
AtomicScripter, after causing the undebatable end of 
the current world, gets on an airplane to India where 
he will be safe from the destruction, as India has no 
internets.

The trip is long and perilous, as the flight crew has
run out of peanuts. It appears all is over for our 
friend AtomicScripter; but wait! What is he doing?! 
AtomicScripter presses the maid bumon above his chair,
and requests an a la carte tray! How ingenius!

Only four short hours later, the plane touches down. 
AtomicScripter puts on his turban to help ensure that
the local populace accepts him as their own. AtomicScripter
gets out his ritual beefcow to trade with the local
townspeople for an underground bomb shelter to wait
out the destruction of the totality that is the internets.

A pbuming negro offers to trade his cow for a spork,
and AtomicScripter deftly files a lawsuit! Eleven weeks
later, AtomicScripter has enough money to exchange for
19:bp:. This will buy him four metric tons of negro
presents.