Permanoob Posted:
The Permanoob is a well-meaning but irritating bugger who can’t help but post every meme, chain letter, viral video or quiz that’s ever coursed through this series of tubes we call “the Internets.” If it’s cute, funny, stupid or even blatant spam, the Permanoob will make sure you see it. Even if it’s already hopelessly dated and played out. Okay, especially if.
The Permanoob is a challenge clbum and is therefore not recommended for people on their first play through of Forumwarz. In fact, we won’t even let you pick him at this point. If you want to become a Permanoob, you must reach level 10 as Re-Re. Once you reach Level 10, the link below will be unlocked.
If you follow the link below, you will leave the clbum selection process and continue the game as a Re-Re. If you should change your mind, you can re-enter the clbum selection through your bookmarks and pick a proper clbum.
Oh, this ‘Permanoob’ clbum is definitely the one for me!
Hacker Posted:
The Hacker takes advantage of the average web-schmuck’s lack of security measures and brutally exploits using complex technologies like backdoors, rootkits, masks and sniffers. Successfully launching a brute force attack into a protected network is the closest this über-dork will ever come to having woman's genitalsl sex.
The Hacker needs badbum hardware with plenty of Processing Power to execute his deadly deeds. A small price to pay for having such l33t mother****ing skillz.
Additionally, the Hacker is the only clbum that can equip multiple pieces of equipment at once.
Oh, this ‘Hacker’ clbum is definitely the one for me!
Camwhore Posted:
The Camwhore is an extreme narcissist who requires constant ego validation. She’s the girl who was called “pretty” one too many times as a kid, and now needs to reinforce her self-worth anytime something with a lens — webcams, human eyes, small municipalities in the Swiss canton of Valais (pop. 3,470) — is aimed at her overly made-up face.
With her secondary Sexiness attribute, the Camwhore derails forums with post after post of pouty, doe-eyed stares and exaggerated cleavage. And if she’s really feeling frisky, she can get your bum arrested on kiddie-porn charges.
Oh, this ‘Camwhore’ clbum is definitely the one for me!
Troll Posted:
In Scandinavian folklore, a Troll is a mythical, dwarfish creature who lives in caves, hoards gold and smashes skulls with clubs. In Internet folklore, a Troll is a male reproductive organhole who purposely disrupts online forums by posting inflammatory, off-topic or otherwise scatological content. The more upset you become, the more this jackbum gets his jollies.
The Troll’s limited (but seemingly unlimited!) secondary attribute is Douchebaggery. This can be replenished with an unhealthy or even — God willing — lethal combination of testosterone supplements, paint thinner and Norwegian grind metal.
Oh, this ‘Troll’ clbum is definitely the one for me!
Emo Kid Posted:
The Emo Kid is exactly who you’d expect: a whiny little **** who takes over forums by making everyone so miserable they’re compelled to leave. Suffering from perpetual teen angst, the Emo Kid turns otherwise agreeable forums into dumping grounds for her depressing rants, false-alarm suicide notes and side-splittingly morbid poetry.
The Emo Kid’s lifeblood, fueling her anguished existence, is a steady flow of Tears. These are easily replenished with eyedrops, eye irritants, or just a good old-fashioned flogging.
Oh, this ‘Emo Kid’ clbum is definitely the one for me!