You seriously need to put FWZ on the back burner for a while.

On the scale of [Helpful]—————————-|—————————-[Harmful],

ForumWarz falls right about here:

[Helpful]—————————-|—-*———————-[Harmful]

In other words, this isn’t the best place for you to hang out and get your head on straight. Find a more serious community or support group, and come on back when you’re feeling better. Be sure to check in regularly, though, so that we know you’re still above ground.

I can tell you from personal experience that there’s nothing in this world worth throwing your life away. A meaningless death will not improve a meaningless life. Remember, the fact that you are capable of such low & negative emotions is simply a reminder that you are capable of the opposite as well. Find your purpose in life. Be who you are, not what you believe other wish you to be.

Best Wishes.