Point Apple: I cannot take the practices of Discordianism seriously and/or/counter-contrariwise literally, but I also think anyone who does has completely missed the point.

Pointy Bong: I do take the importance and usefulness of Sacred Lies and Sacred Laughter seriously, and think it’s what makes Discordianism ring True-ish for many, even after they get past the novelty of it being totally halarious.

Pointed Chaos: Ask thineself thus: Which is the “real” Discordian… the one who shuns the hotdog bun? Or the one who says, “The Goddess says ‘no can haz’ on the hotdog bun… Screw that!” and shoves the forbidden bread into his happy mouth? Verily, make certain to answer thineself after asking.

Point at the Disco!: ILLUMINATUS! is one of the most holy texts I’ve ever read, for me, because it is deeply True, though not completely factual.

Points on Eris: I’m not actually a Discordian, anyway… so don’t trust what I say. Also, don’t trust me if I say, “This *should* work…” or if I ask to borrow a piece of chalk. Also, don’t trust anyone who does claim to be an actual Discordian. Or anyone else. If you think you’re in danger of trusting someone, consult one gland or another… the pineal is just as good as most of the rest.

Past the apple orchard, then turn left at the FNORD: As for explaining Discordianism to others, I tend to focus on the importance of Sacred Lies as a means of leading one toward Truth without just handing it over to them. Of course, I give them just enough to make them want more, if they’re ready to want more. It wouldn’t make much sense at that point to start handing out all the answers, and I hate to have guests stay too long, anyhow.